Points And Prizes - Sheknows

[NSangel]

ya i was quite suprised by haunish too, kaela.

and my hubby almost choked when i read him what you guys were going on about last night, esp haunishes "finger lickin good". he liked the pic of the cat..after amy said she couldn't look away, "first to blink loozes"

guys are nuts. i'm off to find sensible ppl

[zoodle]

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks
"I have a case of anal glaucoma." she says in a weak voice.
"What the hell is glaucoma?" he yells.
I can't see my ass coming in to work today.

[NSangel]

[Aphena]

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks
"I have a case of anal glaucoma." she says in a weak voice.
"What the hell is glaucoma?" he yells.
I can't see my ass coming in to work today.

LOL

[Aphena]

lol. I do have quite a naughty mind I was behaving with those, have hubbys guys buddies over and I can be worse then them..lol..I blame it on my mother

ME too but your much better at behaving...LOL

So funny, like my Father can make comments about me or jokes sexually however you can't talk about HIS PENIS in any joking manner. IT's like your I don't' know...I mean he can commetn on my Big Breasts we laugh it off (it's' all in fun) but i say soemthing liek hey DAD (anything relating to use of his penis) and hes all pissey....LMAO WTF???

This is the same man that rode a Harley, lived in Califorina in the 70's and hung out with Huka lovers...

[Aphena]

oh zoodle..that's good

much better than tickle your beaver...

You want me to put that in NS? You still don't' have an entry. I mean enter it...Me bad.

[Ricki911]

Morning,

Worked last night. Ive come to realize how much of a life I dont have without a computer. Had to buy my dad chocolate and shampoo and now Im taking over his desktop computer tehee. Also taking his laptop to school with me while mine gets fixed the deal was I let him drive my new car and buy him shampoo & a toothbrush (which I have both in my room paid 2.00$ LOL). Probably going back to bed soon have to work at 10 tonight. A house went up in flames down the road from my work (got to see all the cute firefighters - made my night). The lady I work with gave "my future husband" my number lol I chicken out so she told me to go hide in the back while she goes talks to him (now I want to know what she said LOL).

Anyways back to bed for me.

[newsnakeowner1978]

ME too but your much better at behaving...LOL

So funny, like my Father can make comments about me or jokes sexually however you can't talk about HIS PENIS in any joking manner. IT's like your I don't' know...I mean he can commetn on my Big Breasts we laugh it off (it's' all in fun) but i say soemthing liek hey DAD (anything relating to use of his penis) and hes all pissey....LMAO WTF???

This is the same man that rode a Harley, lived in Califorina in the 70's and hung out with Huka lovers...

guess yer daddys lil girl.

[Aphena]

Ok since we are all kinky in here, LOL, I've decided to have a little contest as I need help with a slogan. Winner is gonna get a shipped PRIZE to them. AND it's goona be ohhhhh sooooo good.

Ok here goes the rules.

I need you all to come up with a good slogan that is goign to be used for a banner ad for my new business.

I am goign to be promting relationship enhancment products and i cant' stand that wording. SO.

The goal is to make some wording that is not ographic or vulgar, (see why it is so hard for me) no pun intended.

It has to make people click on it that are interested in sexual enhancment products, lingerie, pheremones, lotions, toys, etc...

I may even pick two or more. When i choose the winner(s) the slogan(s) is/are mine and you have no rights to them. LOL (legal disclaimer)


Try to keep it simple please. Thanks. I'll give you guys 24 hours so buy tomarorw night i will pick winner(s).

Bumping so no one misses out

[newsnakeowner1978]

haven't posted any gd jokes in awhile so here ya go: KIDS BEWARE

A wise man once said, "You should treat your woman the way you treat
your hoover!!, when it stops sucking.... change the bag."



A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament.
From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king. He is given
five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament.
The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV.
A hot Asian girl walks up to his room and he says, "Wow. They must really
love me here." He begins to have sex with her the whole night.
She continues to scream, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!," but he ignores it.
At the tournament, the American golfer gets a hole-in-one and gets really excited.
He starts yelling, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!"
One of the Chinese golfers says, "What do you mean 'WRONG HOLE'?"



A man says to his wife, "Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing."
Wife says, "I dont want to go."
Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the ass.
Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says,
"It tastes like .
Man says, "I know, dog didnt want to go fishing either."


This young boy named Don walked into a whorehouse, slammed his money
on the counter and said, "I want a woman!"
The man behind the counter asked, "How old are you?
"Don, replied, "I'm 17!
"The man said, "Your too young, come back when your older,
mean while practice on trees.
"A year later Don once again came back to the whorehouse,
swung the front door open, then shut, stomped over to the front desk
and slammed his money on the counter harder then before.
He screamed, "GIVE ME A WOMAN!"
The man behind the counter said, "How old are you?"
Don, shouted, "I AM 18!"
The man took Don's money and said, "OK, up stairs, second door on the left."
Don didn't miss a beat. He ran up those stairs so fast he skipped every
other step. It wasn't about 5 minutes later when the man behind the counter heard the whore up stairs screaming in complete and utter agony. So he jumped over the counter and ran up the stairs.
Once at the room he kicked in the door and to his surprise Don had a
broomstick shoved right up the whore's pu$$y.
The man shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Don simply replied, "Checking for squirrels..."


Two eggs boiling in a pan.
One says, "I've got a huge crack."
The other replies, "Stop teasing me, I'm not f*cking hard yet."


A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm
and says:
"This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for sex."
His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep."
He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!" (HAHAHAHA i lvoe that one)


An old married couple were having sex and the wife says,
"Baby, suck my nipples!"
The man dies; autopsy said, 'Reason for death: Expired Milk'



A guy feels out an application for E-harmony to meet the ladies.
E-harmony rejected his application because he failed to answer
question 14 properly.
The question was, "What do you like most in a woman."
The man replied, "My dick."


Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon,
you washed your hands before and after."
She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel
a f*cking thing!"


thats all folks. hope u found thse as funny as i did. lol but im innocent. i didn't read any of them. grin

[Aphena]

OMG snake LMAO!!!! Good ones! Sc is having a contest too. Ends tomorrow $10 Gc to make koala laugh the hardest but you have to keep it clean LOL.

Ok so far for entries i got:
newsnake
wanna fook better, i have what ya need ya dirty ol man"
eroctica and things

Haunish
"Toys for 2"
"pleasurable sensations"
exhilaration at hand
pleasurable magic
irresistible pleasures
forbidden fruits
our desire: your desire
tasty pleasures
delectable sensations
sinfully orgasmic
exquisite sensations
delectable tastes
titillating passions
finger lickin good
carnal sensations or carnal pleasures
salacious sensations
lascivious loving

Rose
how about "where erotic pleasure and play await"...? or just "erotic pleasure and play await"
where the sinful come to play

Kaela
irresistible pleasures
forbidden fruits
our desire: your desire

Tick
Naughty & Nice
Good Vibrations
Needful Pleasures
Sex Love & Ohhhhh's
Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

Andit
a tender touch for every taste
lustful lotions
salacious solutions
erotic essences
carnal candles
lascivious lotions
concupiscent cargo
Carnal Sutra
erudite esoteric essences

Bluekitty
Kama Pleasures

Stardreamer
Simple pleasures

SJ
passion with action
the pleasure party
DARK TEMPTATIONS

Zoodle
tickle your fancy

[newsnakeowner1978]

Bumping so no one misses out

oh how bout "Is it in yet and pleasities" or "Bad in the sack? We got what you need" or "No partner, No problem, Just pick your poison"

trying to sugar coat it. could say some dirty dirty stuff but dont wanna get banned. lol

[haunish]

lol..was telling my hubby about my entries..lol..got a funny look on his face..not sure what it means..

APhena my dad was like that liked to say things but the second you said anything back..he'd get all upset

newsnake love your jokes .thye were good hubby laughed his head off

[zoodle]

how bout............light your fire

[Aphena]

Any french words that are sexual yet not vulgar?