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Tue, Jul 30th, 2013, 02:37 PM #16
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But Zonny, you have to look at it from the point of view that with the POA, you have access to all her money, which is different than filing her taxes and signing documents at the hospital. Without proof that she's incapacitated with a medical certificate, anyone could show up at the bank with a POA and wipe your mother's account out. The bank has a duty to protect their clients and themselves from fraud.
Just as an example, my husband had his bank account wiped out by someone who showed up at the bank claiming she was his wife. He wasn't married at the time (although I'm positive it was his ex-wife). The bank had to no choice but to suffer the loss and reimburse my husband.
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Tue, Jul 30th, 2013, 05:04 PM #17
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I won't argue about it (much! ) with you. I do see your point, but not just 'anyone' can show up with a POA at a bank, it's a legal document, has a lawyer's seal on it. I'd think there's less risk of a fraudulent POA than someone showing up with a fraudulent cheque. You certainly couldn't go into a bank and just claim you were a spouse and take all the money out, I'd think you'd need more than just, "I'm his wife, please give me his money." I'd also think that making legal and medical decisions, authorizing payments from her bank account on her behalf (at the nursing home and with CRA) would be equally important, compared to the bank. And a coworker who had a similar situation but a different bank had a completely different experience. But we can agree to disagree!
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Wed, Jul 31st, 2013, 09:33 AM #18
I've had a will since I was 19. Wills are so important to have they help to remove uncertainty. One of the benefits of going to a lawyer is that they have a copy on file if in the event something happens to yours or it is contested as fraudlent. They can also help you if there are complicated things. It is also important to make sure it is updated when major life events happen. It is important to also make changes quickly.
A couple other things, as someone also mentioned pre-planning a funeral is a good idea. No one really wants to think about it but it does save the surviving family members stress and financial problems. My father unexpectedly passed away several years ago at a relatively young age which left my mom and I scrambling to plan a funeral. They had a joint account so accessing money for the funeral wasn't an issue. After my dad's funeral and when things calmed down, my mom planned and pre-paid for her funeral arrangements. My brother and I can make changes as we wish and pay for any changes in cost but should she pass away unexpectedly as well, we won't be scrambling to make arrangements.
As I mentioned, making changes quickly is a good idea. My father was POA for his mother with the bank and handled all of her finances when she moved into a nursing home. A few months after he died, she passed away. Thankfully, his sisters had made changes to the POA with the bank and could access the account easily to make her arrangements. We didn't expect that my grandmother would pass away so soon but it was a good thing they made changes quickly.
Another thing my family learned in my father's and grandmother's deaths was to make sure your spouse, children, parents, whomever, has a list of accounts and policies. By that I mean they know what credit cards to pay off and cancel, which bank accounts to close, which loyalty programs to close/transfer points/ownership, etc. I've also left a list of usernames and passwords for social media accounts as well. It's also a good idea to make a list of insurance polices that you have. You don't necessarily need to give them this list but put it in a sealed envelope and put it somewhere safe and let them know that it exists. My mom knew about the cards and programs etc., but it was very difficult for her to think of which ones needed to be cancelled or have the primary cardholder's name changed to hers.
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Wed, Jul 31st, 2013, 12:55 PM #19
Definitely make lists of everything you own, everything you owe, and your passwords as mentioned above. Make sure that you have lists of insurance policies and also write down where they are kept. Safety deposit box? Make sure your executors know where the key is, and, more importantly, what BANK it's at! Do NOT put your funeral instructions in your will and do NOT put your will in your safety deposit box, unless you make copies. The safety deposit box may not be opened until weeks after your death, and its then too late to find out that you wanted to be cremated. Or that you wanted a party instead of a funeral. GO TO A LAWYER and have things done properly. In the grand scheme of things, paying for a will and POA's is a drop in the bucket compared to the costs of NOT having these documents. Pick the guardians for your kids VERY carefully!
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Wed, Jul 31st, 2013, 02:36 PM #20
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Many good points are made about what to have written into wills or POA documents. Safety deposit boxes-well, I did try to get Mom to consider going joint with me but she declined.
Wills-fee is just for one copy or one for you and one for lawyer? And fees for extra copies of POAs to be given to bank, CRA, etc?
Thing about keeping will filed at lawyer's office (if that is where only copy is)-one should plan a backup in case lawyer passes away or practice closes or is sold. Imagine accessing the will at time of need when the lawyer cannot be there to access file and whoever is handling the practice might have to abide by professional rules about timelines for notifying clients about their files/change in practice/closure of practice. That is assuming one catches the newspaper notice/obituary in the paper.
Social media>there are services that will hand closing your social media accounts when your death is confirmed.
Articles on what social media policies are about closing accounts for the deceased (might be worth considering legal help to expedite those 30 processing day times).
http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2...r-life-online/
http://mashable.com/2012/01/26/digit...s-after-death/
Online services like Entrustet, Legacy Locker and My Webwill offer other options for passing on online account access after death.
But some lawmakers advise against using these services. Kiesel points out that a will including digital accounts is more secure than these sites, which may not exist when a person dies.2021-Bring on the sunshine, sweets & online shopping.
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Wed, Jul 31st, 2013, 07:12 PM #21
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Yup ..the bank is just looking out for itself , not you or your mom.
If you were using the POA to deposit money or make investments like mutual funds etc in RBC on behalf of your mom, they would have bent over backwards and easily accepted the POA.
But if you are using it to withdraw money , all these hoops come about all of a sudden .
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Fri, Aug 2nd, 2013, 06:24 AM #22
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I've had a will / power of attorney since I was 23. My parents made me get it after hearing some of the frightening stories I had from my worldwide travels backpacking.
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Fri, Aug 2nd, 2013, 11:18 AM #23
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Another thing occurred to me this week, as I had to sit and write my mother's obituary yesterday. No one will have to write mine, I'm going to have it already done, just fill in the date, etc.! We have only one child, I don't want him faced with all this stuff when we come to the end.
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Fri, Aug 2nd, 2013, 11:21 AM #24
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Zonny, I know that's a hard task - I had to do my dad's.
I've thought the same as you because we have one son as well...
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Sat, Aug 3rd, 2013, 06:48 PM #25
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thanks guys -I had to write my mom ,s obituary-I should do mine too so my kids don't have too
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Sun, Aug 4th, 2013, 03:06 PM #26
Ciel: in Ontario if you lawyer retires or closes up shop they must notify you so you can make arrangements if they have the original of your will. Our lawyer retired earlier this year and it was his notification of retirement last summer that prompted us the update everything so he did this and then advised who was taking his practice. So the new lawyer has the original and copies are secured in a home safe.
Friends don't let real friends pay full price.
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Tue, Aug 6th, 2013, 10:24 AM #27
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My cousin passed away 7 days after getting married, he and his wife lived together for years before the wedding and had one child and another on the way. The mortgage was in both their names and it took 8 months for the bank to implement the insurance papers even with the death certificate - banks are very careful with these things to prevent loss on their part.
My cousins wife also had difficulty filing her marriage as her husband was not available to sign the documentation ( not sure what as the marriage papers were already signed). It was a very difficult time made more difficult, its best to be prepared and consider all possibilities.
DH and I have wills and POA for financial and medical (after reading the posts thinking we should also be on each others accounts). We also added a section that allows for our guardians to care for our children if we are not capable (i.e. both injured in a car accident and not able to take care of our kids or communicate our wishes). I think our next step is funeral arrangements...not looking forward to this...
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Tue, Aug 6th, 2013, 04:29 PM #28
My experience of pre-paying our funerals was that it wasn't a big deal.....other than the cost, of course. When we sold our house to move to an apartment, pre-paying our funerals was one of the things we did with some of the proceeds of the sale. I think it was much easier to pre-pay the funerals when we knew we weren't going to need them any time soon. All the decisions were pretty practical decisions and we were able to look at those decisions objectively.
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Tue, Aug 6th, 2013, 08:00 PM #29
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Trust me, your children look even less forward to this! My in-laws have had their funerals all arranged and paid for for years, and when FIL passed away about three years ago, it made things so much easier. There were no decisions to be made, no payments needed, they just called the funeral home it was arranged with and it was done. My mother's was mostly the same. Another thought, if you were struggling to pay for a parent's funeral and hoped that the CPP death benefit would help you, it will - but 10 -12 weeks after the person has passed away according to the funeral director that arranged my Mom's. Too late to really help much at the time.
I am still a bit stunned at how much the obituary cost. $159 with tax, for it to appear in the provincial newspaper for ONE day, and online for ten days.
I *think* (I'm no lawyer, just my experience with my Mom talking here), that you should file that POA you have on each other with your bank while you are still of sound mind.
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Tue, Aug 6th, 2013, 10:05 PM #30
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Zonny, when my dad died, the funeral home credited the CPP death benefit right away when arrangements were made. Not sure, but maybe because it was a small city and the directors knew my dad and mom.
Yes, obits are terribly expensive - my mom's was over $400.
My parents didn't have their funerals pre-done.
Also, both parents had holographic wills, no problems with either of them.
(My dad's was beautiful, the beginning of it was basically a love letter to her, in Ukrainian...)
When my mom was sick, one of the hardest conversations I had with her was her bringing up that she and a friend had been to a new funeral home which had opened in her city (open house?), and she wanted me to make sure she would have the casket she saw there with the light peachy-pink lining and embroidery.
Well, that floored me - I sure didn't think she was dying at that time, she was going through treatments and staying at my sister's house...
I was just overwhelmed and cried endlessly... apparently when I went and told my sister, she said it was like I was in shock, because I didn't even remember relaying the information to her.Last edited by Natalka; Tue, Aug 6th, 2013 at 10:08 PM.
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