Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v2

[rockit]

Thanks for today gonna go put on a suit and bark at the moon.

there's a visual

[WolfDio]

FOXY LADY: Fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
slim, 5-4 (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp
looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching
white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just
buried fourth husband looking for someone to round
out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness
of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks,
sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you
are the silent type, let's get together, take our
hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original
teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare
steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still
like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights
and still like to play the air guitar. If you
were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,
let's get together and listen to my boss collection
of eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through
Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday
and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.


MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good
condition, some hair, many new parts including
hip, knee, cornea, valves. Doesn't run but walks
well.

[WolfDio]

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with
his father. He watched as his father moved
from horse to horse, running his hands up and
down the horses' legs, rump, and chest. After
a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you
doing that?"

"Because I'm thinking of buying these horses."

Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better
hurry home right away!"

"Why?" his father asked.

"Because the milkman stopped by yesterday, and
I think he wants to buy Mom!"

[harleychick]

Stewy cleverly pointed out that Elvis played at MLG on April 27, 1957. Wow even Loocie wasn't born yet. Here is a picture of Elvis at the very venue.
Thanks Stewy, now I have a date to go with the picture.

Attachment 23777

MY FATHER STILL HAS CLOTHES LIKE THAT,HE THOUGHT HE WAS ELVIS TOO.EVERY NOW N THEN WE HAVE A HUGH GET TOGETHER HE COMES OUT IN HIS SHINE SPARKLES PANT SUIT.HE IS A GREAT MAN N FUNNY TO.BUT HE IS NO ELVIS.

[WolfDio]

Bubba went into the fish market to apply for
a job. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not
hiring that lazy guy", so he decided to set
a test for Bubba hoping he wouldn't be able
to answer the questions and he'd be able to
refuse him the job without getting into an
argument.

"The first question," he asks, "without
using numbers, represent the number 9."

Bubba says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to
draw three trees.

The boss says, "What in the world is that?"

Bubba says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes
nine."

"Fair enough" says the boss. "Second
questions, same rules, but represent 99".

Bubba stares into space for a while, then
makes a smudge on each tree.

"Der ya go sir," he says.

The boss scratches his head and asks, "How
on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

Bubba answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so
it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree.
Dat 99."

The boss is getting worried he's going to
have to hire Bubba so he says, "All right,
question number 3. Same rules again, but
this time represent the number 100."

Bubba stares into space again, then he shouts,
"I got it!" He makes a little mark at the
base of each tree and says, "Der ya go
sir, 100."

The boss looks at Bubba's attempt and thinks,
"Ha! got him this time." He then tells Bubba,
"Go on, Bubba, you must be crazy if you think
that represents a 100."

Bubba leans forward and points to the little
marks at the tree bases and says, "A little
dog comes along and craps by each tree, so
now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree
an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which
makes 100. When do I start my job?"

[WolfDio]

[WolfDio]

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an
Audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment,
and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
"Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, "Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns any where in the world?"

After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, "I'm sorry my son, there're no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling,laughing and pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting......

"Dopey shagged a penguin!
Dopey shagged a penguin!"

[WolfDio]

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope.
Dopey leads the pack.

Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment,
and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
"Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, "Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns any where in the world?"

After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, "I'm sorry my son, there're no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling,laughing and pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting......

"Dopey shagged a penguin!
Dopey shagged a penguin!"

[WolfDio]

[Stewy]

The human body doesn't really need sleep, does it?

[BlazingDriver]

Good evening all!
Just a note to say thanks for all the winning words.
I don't say it often enough - you guys are the best!


A special thanks today to the H-Team for making me laugh so hard I was crying.

And to Buttertart because after years of searching I have finally found my dream car.


Wonder if I can pick one up used?

[runt158]

Heard that one before but well worth listening to it again.

[runt158]

Think this was on here before, but what the hey here it is again.
Income Tax 2010




At the end of the tax year, Revenue Canada office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the auditor was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"

"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company, and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"



"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to Revenue Canada, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.

[runt158]

Affair with an older woman:

[Stewy]

Good evening all!
Just a note to say thanks for all the winning words.
I don't say it often enough - you guys are the best!


A special thanks today to the H-Team for making me laugh so hard I was crying.

And to Buttertart because after years of searching I have finally found my dream car.


Wonder if I can pick one up used?

Your dreams have been answered. I just happen to have one. If you could send me $50000.00 as a deposit (cash only) we could then make arrangements for delivery. I am only asking for the deposit as a show of good faith on your part.