How do you give "The Talk"?

[improperganda]

I'm more open to talk about it than my parents. I had sex ed in the first grade which acutally made me more interested it in.

When talking to your child, maybe also talk about the social side of it. Pressure (please talk to your girls we make so many mistakes when it comes to boys), media, religous views ect.

I also think easing into it helps alot on both parties, not just jumping right into it for 2 day and trying to forget how awakward it was the next.

[erin9mmm]

My daughter is 11 and I am afraid to begin. I am a shy person already and this is NOT helping. She knows about puberty but as for the sex talk I don't know how to begin or when. She has already mentioned (in giggles) that her friends were mentioning the sex word but when my DH and I asked her what sex is she said "when two people lie naked together...giggle, giggle."
I'm torn between wanting to keep her a child and properly preparing her to grow up. She is excited to grow up (which will probably make it easier) but I'm not (I even dreaded my 13th birthday because I didn't want to be a teenager yet).
...any advice???

[mwieler]

Here are some books that help on this issue.Hope they help.

http://bookstore.fotf.ca/search.aspx...ch=sex&cat=462

[erin9mmm]

Thanks, I'll check them out.
I've been dreading this time since she was born. She is the oldest of 3 girls so at least she will help pave the way for the other two.

[mwieler]

Thanks, I'll check them out.
I've been dreading this time since she was born. She is the oldest of 3 girls so at least she will help pave the way for the other two.

I know how you feel. We have 3 boys & I know my husband won't give the 'talk',so I'll have to. My oldest is almost 10 and he thinks he knows about it,I haven't asked him what exactly he knows,so soon now I'll be haveing the 'talk' with him.

[MrsSunshine]

believe it or not.. its better to be open from the beginning and honest as well.. they learn alot more than were aware of.. from alot of places. computers, media, friends.. even the soaps now.. holy cow..
we started discussing it about 5 years ago when our kids were 10 and 11.. if they asked a question. they got a simple straight honest answer.. they were always happy with it.. even now as they mature and are entering 'adulthood'.. we still do the same.. rather it come from us honestly then from their friends and not true and have them get too inquisitive (they are SN) they dont' have girlfriends either. still too shy. but doesn't stop their bodies from being curious.
put yourself in their place.. you have a question. you ask someone.. you get an answer.. your like. hmm?? so you go and find out yourself.. right.. would u want your kids to do the same..
they are starting much younger in school teaching them.. my kids learned in Grade 2/3 about birth.

[erin9mmm]

....we started discussing it about 5 years ago when our kids were 10 and 11.. if they asked a question. they got a simple straight honest answer.. they were always happy with it.. even now as they mature and are entering 'adulthood'.. we still do the same.....

I've tried to be the same way. My daughter actually despite my fears is making it easy on me because she's not embarrassed and is very inquisitive. I much rather she bring up the topic and then I go from there than I sit her down and chat. I remember I felt very uncomfortable and awkward when my mom sat me down, but then again that could be just from my personality. I just don't know if or when she will ask the right questions and am starting to feel that I should quit procrastinating and talk about it already.

[DiamondLil]

All I can add is thank God for health class at school. It was discussed at school in that class but when I signed my dear kids permission slip for that course, I told my preteens (at the time) that if they have any questions to see dad or me.

But yep, like Patty, I am still waiting for that sex talk as well.

[Brandy Hunter]

Being a teenager, can I just say - don't make it awkward or ask too many question!

My mom did this and it made me shut her out, and now I hate talking to her about anything like that.

[erin9mmm]

Being a teenager, can I just say - don't make it awkward or ask too many question!
My mom did this and it made me shut her out, and now I hate talking to her about anything like that.

That is similar to my experience with my mom, so I don't want to repeat it. Can I ask, how old were you when she talked with you?

[Love&Joy]

the best "talk" i got was when i was 14 and my mom, totally out of the blue, said "you know about sex right?" i whipped my head around and blurted "duh! i have a TV in my room and we get showcase!"

i still get teased about that. [but it's totally true, i remember watching 'queer as folk' as a young thing. if i ever have kids, they will not be allowed to have television in their rooms until they are 40! ]

you made me laugh! I agree, no TV in the bedroom for my kids too.

[recessionisnotfun]

My son will be 15 this thursday. He's known about sex for I don't know how many years now. I'm a very blunt person and am not shy whatsoever to talk about anything under the sun lol. It comes very natural for me and my family. Nothing is hid in this house. I say it like it is. Hell, I don't know why we even have a bathroom door, it never stays closed lol. It's always been that way and is all he knows. I can't even take a bath without dogs in the bathroom, it's always open season in this house...sigh...I wonder what it is like taking a bath in peace? lol.
If my son doesn't know what a word is he'll ask me no problem and quick to ask. He heard someone call a kid a douchbag and asked what it was, I straight up told him. He said ohhh ok, thanks mom and went back to his homework.
Just be honest, use adult/proper words and try not to look uneasy if ya can. Good luck to you

[nadiabreckon]

DS is only 2, so we have quite a few years before telling him about anything. Mind you, I've already told DH that it's his job to talk to him about it...Ugh, now thinking about it, maybe I should...lol

[erin9mmm]

I heard a funny line this past weekend. My cousin asked her son (before he left for college), what do you call a guy who can't keep track of his sperm?......dad.

[lekate]

I went to a catholic school, but my teachers in gr.5 decided to do a "seminar" day, they separated the boys and girls and talked all about it, a little easier than in a mixed class. I honestly don't remember my mom talking to me about it. I did however go into shock when I had my first period. OH EM GEE it hurt. I couldn't move.

Other than that, I watched Sex With Sue. Nothing says class like an old woman talking about sex! Hehe. Once I was in HS I read Savage Love. And as far as boys are concerned I've never given in to peer pressure, I did things when I was ready, which, I know, is not what most girls do ....

Also, when I was quite young, the Fully Alive program in the catholic board "alluded" to how babies were made...so I had an idea.