Daycare worries

[Lexiesmom]

I really just need somewhere to vent I think...but also looking for reassurance that I did nothing wrong. Will try to condense the story

• Put DD on wait list for several daycare centres when I was 5-6 months pregnant.
• Ended up going with homedaycare (from 12 months age to now...22 months)
• Removed name from all but one list (totally forgot actually)
• Got email last week that there is a spot.
• Thought long and hard about pros an cons.
• Decided to go to this centre (haven't signed paperwork yet though)
• Told home daycare lady
• She is PISSED, and saying that we're just thinking of ourselves, and treating her badly.?! And she normally terminates immediately if anyone is even on a waiting list. WTF? So we're lucky that she's letting us stay the 2 weeks, but if it doesn't work out, and we don't get the spot, she won't take us back.

Seriously...other then being stupid and telling her before we officially have the spot ( just trying to be considerate to her, but causing me major stress for me right now), did I do anything wrong?? someone please tell me I'm not a B*tch like she thinks I am!
I think I'm just doing what is best for my little girl, and even told her originally it was nothing personal against her.

ahhhh!!

[nadiabreckon]

you did NOTHING wrong, and quite frankly, she is taking this waaayyyyy out of proportion!

I would have done the exact same thing in your situation, mind you we prefer home daycares because of the flexible hours (I work retail and don't have a 9-5 M-F job)...but if that's what works for you, then she has nothing to be angry at you about! At least you mentioned it to her and just didn't decide to ditch her at the last minute. I really hope she comes to her senses and realizes how upset she's making you.

[cushiebunny]

She is being somewhat selfish and thinking of what is best for her. A part of that is that she also probably has an attachment to the child and is hurting inside thinking she will lose that relationship.

You need to do what is best for your child and yourself.
The way she is behaving and tone it sounds like she is giving suggests perhaps some imbalances. If she is quick to give you the tones when not pleased does she do the same with your child when your child does something that does not please?

I'm currently trying to mend some issues my daughter has from being in someone else's care. It's not always an easy call to make, but when head games are added into it it makes our choice seem so right for our child's sake.

[Minou]

She sounds a little scary. Daycare providers who have been doing home daycare for some time would come to expect some turnover. The fact that a waitlist space came up should allow her not to take the change personally. It's not like you're going to a different home daycare. Some parents want their kids to be part of the structure and activity at a centre as they get older.

Sign those papers quickly!

[Lexiesmom]

Thanks so much everyone!
I'm starting to get more mad now then being so upset. I just cant' believe how she is reacting.

My mom put it this way...
My mom works at a bank, and does financial planning. How would it look if she blew up at every customer that decides to switch banks for whatever reason after she had done a bunch of work for them. Of course she's hurt and a bit angry by them moving, but she needs to be professional, and would get a very bad reputation if she blew up at customers. Can you image how many future customers she would lose if she did this. My daycare provider would be fired for sure if she was in any other job!

Moms seem to make everything ok

[cricky]

When it comes to your child's care go with your gut. It's telling you to switch her to another spot then do it. By the home day care workers reaction you are doing the right thing.

Mom's always make things better.

[Insane]

She has no right to say you can't keep your name on a waitlist at any daycare. She is basically saying she has ultimate control over your daycare options for your child for life. That is the most ridiculous thing for a daycare provider to say. It's almost like saying to an employee you can't look at other jobs and can't go on interviews.

Do what is best for your child. That's your job!

[JordanBrown]

I really just need somewhere to vent I think...but also looking for reassurance that I did nothing wrong. Will try to condense the story

• Put DD on wait list for several daycare centres when I was 5-6 months pregnant.
• Ended up going with homedaycare (from 12 months age to now...22 months)
• Removed name from all but one list (totally forgot actually)
• Got email last week that there is a spot.
• Thought long and hard about pros an cons.
• Decided to go to this centre (haven't signed paperwork yet though)
• Told home daycare lady
• She is PISSED, and saying that we're just thinking of ourselves, and treating her badly.?! And she normally terminates immediately if anyone is even on a waiting list. WTF? So we're lucky that she's letting us stay the 2 weeks, but if it doesn't work out, and we don't get the spot, she won't take us back.

Seriously...other then being stupid and telling her before we officially have the spot ( just trying to be considerate to her, but causing me major stress for me right now), did I do anything wrong?? someone please tell me I'm not a B*tch like she thinks I am!
I think I'm just doing what is best for my little girl, and even told her originally it was nothing personal against her.

ahhhh!!

.......She is just looking out for herself in terms of income and who can blame her everybody needs an income........and if i was in home daycare i wouldn't take anybody on a waiting list either.......because home daycare is really not what they wanted in the first place...etc......BUT.......i would never put my child in daycare when home daycare is soooooooooo much better than the other options......really do your research on this daycare......past problems...etc......She is probably mad because she has put alot of effort and care into the care of your child and all of a sudden maybe she feels it was for nothing.......MAKE SURE SHE IS NOT TREATING YOUR CHILD WRONG BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION....be very careful!!!!

[Natalka]

Nothing wrong with switching, as long as you are giving your current provider sufficient notice that was agreed upon previously.

[betholio]

I think the OP has the right to do whatever she feels is best for her child and that daycare provider is being dramatic and weird and be glad you'll be rid of her.

JordanBrown,

Why is home daycare sooooooooo much better than a centre? I could not disagree more. That is a really odd blanket statement to make.

[JordanBrown]

I think the OP has the right to do whatever she feels is best for her child and that daycare provider is being dramatic and weird and be glad you'll be rid of her.

JordanBrown,

Why is home daycare sooooooooo much better than a centre? I could not disagree more. That is a really odd blanket statement to make.

For one thing your child is not treated like another cow in the field....how do you like that blanket statement...........whatever you respond back with it won't be responded to.........you have a great day but somehow i doubt that........if you are going to respond to someone be NICCEEEEEE!
Grow up

[Zonny]

Grow up

What brought on that response? She just asked what makes the home daycare so much better.

I'm kind of curious too. My DS is in a daycare centre, works just fine for us, we've never had any issues.

[erin9mmm]

[*]She is PISSED, and saying that we're just thinking of ourselves, and treating her badly.?! And she normally terminates immediately if anyone is even on a waiting list. WTF? So we're lucky that she's letting us stay the 2 weeks, but if it doesn't work out, and we don't get the spot, she won't take us back.

I think this is a blessing in disguise. The home daycare provider just showed you her true colours. Do you really want you child with her now? I wouldn't!

[MommyOfAustin]

Regarding the OP, I think that if sufficient notice was given, there should be no problem. A home daycare (whether licensed or not) is still a business, and the professional thing to do is give notice. As far as the reaction of the caregiver, that is a little much. I don't think I would want her as a caregiver for my child.

I have a friend who operates a home daycare and I think she does a wonderful job. In addition to her own 2 kids she takes on 3 more. All the kids are on a structured schedule and she takes them places everyday. I am sure that there are daycare centers ( and home daycare) that are wonderful. IMHO I don't think that one is better than the other. It is about the research you do and what you expect out of the caregiver. (ex. outside time, feedback from caregiver regarding child, meals, etc...the list could go on!) Saying one is better that the other makes no sense to me as each daycare provider will be different, it really just boils down what YOU want for your child.

[Insane]

For one thing your child is not treated like another cow in the field....how do you like that blanket statement...........whatever you respond back with it won't be responded to.........you have a great day but somehow i doubt that........if you are going to respond to someone be NICCEEEEEE!
Grow up

It was a valid question. I have never had my children in home daycare. I feel that center daycares are better. It's valid to ask why you think home daycares are so much better.