Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v4

[rock lobster]

We are Sparta F.C.

[rock lobster]

Change the record, change the record, change the guy that changes the record.

[rock lobster]

Rickenbacker's rock.
The same but different.

[The Jester]

“Real” break in:
My mate Paddy just told me that he robbed a shop last night.
"What did you get?" I asked.
"26 pictures," he smiled, showing me, "The cheapest one is worth over £180,000."
I said, "mate, these are from an estate agents."

[The Jester]

A 90 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season.

But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."

The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No".

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.

[The Jester]

Thoughts for the day
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Much worse than 'going blind!')
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there
any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool ,England - but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mothermust be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Condoms may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'
(Is this a great country or what?
Well,.... not as great as Guam
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for these tests?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of ???)
(Did our government pay for this research??)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Butterflies taste with their feet..
(Ah, geez.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And, the best for last?
Turtles can breathe through their ass.
(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)
Thank you all for reading this.
If you need to reach me in the future, I will be in Guam !!

[rock lobster]

SpaceX Dragon Cargo Ship Departs Space Station for Return to Earth




A SpaceX Dragon capsule departs the International Space Station on Jan. 13, 2018 to return 4,100 lbs. (1,860 kilograms) of science gear to Earth and end a month long delivery mission.

The unscrewed Dragon supply ship detached from the space station's robotic arm at 4:58 EST (0958 GMT) and began firing thrusters for its return to Earth. If all goes well, the space capsule will splashdown in the Pacific Ocean at 10:36 a.m. EST (1536 GMT) and be retrieved by SpaceX.

In addition to delivering cargo, the mission marked a milestone for SpaceX's rocket reusability program.
Both the Dragon capsule and its Falcon 9 booster made their second trips to space on this flight.

(and I still can't even get my pizza delivered to me hot) !!!!

[22hicks]

Good morning; well it's been a crummy one here, so, it can only get better, right.
I broke a glass filled with orange juice, which of course went everywhere, then while cleaning up, knocked my mug of coffee off the counter: it broke too. Coffee, juice and glass all over my kitchen.

Now, over an hour later, I'm having my 1st cup of coffee.

[rock lobster]

better than the studio-y , perfection-y ,type stuff ......'the oooo'.

[dededi]

Good morning everyone!

[The Jester]

Brilliant art from the cutlery drawer

https://www.facebook.com/BoredPandaA...zLrf1bGsCNhq6g

[heartgirl99]

Good morning; well it's been a crummy one here, so, it can only get better, right.
I broke a glass filled with orange juice, which of course went everywhere, then while cleaning up, knocked my mug of coffee off the counter: it broke too. Coffee, juice and glass all over my kitchen.

Now, over an hour later, I'm having my 1st cup of coffee.

hope the rest of your day improved, hicks!

[heartgirl99]

[the H team]

[the H team]