I'm upset..

[Brandy Hunter]

My brother is getting married next year, and i'm really upset. They NEVER talk to us anymore, we have no clue whats going on. We'll ask and they'll say they don't know but when I talk to my other brother or someone, they told them.

His fiance went dress shopping, and I wasn't invited (bridesmaid) I gave up being upset with that, but she bought the dress and EVERYONE saw it, but she tells me she has no picture of it, yet people who weren't even there seen it.

Everyone's doing a speech, except me.

I'm just really upset that they're being like this. I'll call them and they wont answer.

We saw them a bit over a month ago and I had a hamburger for dinner and she said something along the lines of fitting in the 'little yellow dress' she picked for us, which again she won't show me. She hasn't taken us (or me atleast, I don't know about the others) dress shopping, so why should my size matter? We're supposedly waiting for another bridesmaid to lose weight before we go shopping.

Everytime I see them my brother asks 'where's my stamps?' he wants (never asked!) me to get him 150 stamps for his invites. I tell him I don't have any, and he says 'trade your coupons' then i'll reply 'I don't have the coupons to trade', trading is to help ME and my family, not someone who ignores me! and he wont stop so my Mom is just going to buy them, because he's getting picky.. like we owe it to him, but he doesn't have the time to call us ?

I don't want to sound like a brat, but this is really upsetting for me.

[Mia001]

welcome in the wonderfull world of family fued !

((((HUGS))))

[KrazE]

This is just my 2 cents, but I'd cut ties for awhile until they can treat you with the respect that you deserve; even if that means backing out of the wedding.

You're not their lackey, you're family, and you're not even being treated properly at all!

Hell I'll even go kick someone in the taco for you!

[TrueNorthTreasures]

This is just my 2 cents, but I'd cut ties for awhile until they can treat you with the respect that you deserve; even if that means backing out of the wedding.

You're not their lackey, you're family, and you're not even being treated properly at all!

Hell I'll even go kick someone in the taco for you!

I completely agree with KrazE. And the part about "kicking in the taco" made me laugh out loud!

[MrsSunshine]

sorry im with KrazE on this one.

[Sherbear609]

hmm this is hard ... and you have to stand up for your self... no answer will ever be right, things don't get any easier with age.. Family issues arise & there is no perfect way to deal with this... good luck hun

[Brandy Hunter]

Thanks guys, I don't even talk to my other brother, and now I don't talk to this brother. I'm left with 1 more brother (thank god we get along, we bicker but it's all fun!)

I hate how you can't chose your family, you just get stuck with people that don't even care.

[KrazE]

It's certainly not easy, I can tell you that. I'm the type of person who willingly cuts out the poison from my life when it's needed, even when it's family.

I have not talked to my sister in 16 years, and my brother in 5 - but talking to my brother was forced as I did it for my Mother when she came up from California (where she lives). Prior to that, we had not spoken since 1998.

If it's affecting your happiness, then do what you truly feel is the right thing for you; after all, you're the one that has to live with the decision.

[Lynn49]

It's such a shame that what should be a happy occasion can bring out the nasty in people. Hon, I see it so often in my business...I meet with couples I'm going to marry and some of them are so nervous about how one or both or all the members of the family will "feel" if they're left out, or they don't want someone in their wedding party but have been obliged to have them...oh, some of them are messes and we try to figure things out.

I agree with KrazE. Just lay low and go with the flow...show up, wear the yellow dress and when the ceremony is over, just party the night away. Change out of the dress for the reception if you want to, but try not to let this be about you, even though I know it must be difficult feeling left out. It seems that weddings are so controlled by the brides (or bridzillas) and the grooms just shlep along, doing what they're told. This might be the case, so just grin and bear it.

If it does become unbearable, I'd speak with that brother and ask him is she really wants you in her wedding party, because it's becoming blatantly obvious to you that you're being shut out, and that you'd be quite content to step aside.

I hope it all turns out well, but just fyi....this happens so often with families and weddings...

[Brandy Hunter]

It's actually not bridezilla, it's groomzilla .. well, both actually.

[Darth Penguin]

You're not a brat CanadianBella, your brother and future wife are totally entitled special snowflakes.

[Brandy Hunter]

special snowflakes.. LOLOLOL!!

[Angela273]

You do what you can for family until it gets up to a point where it is effecting your own family. From the sounds of it, the way your brother's wedding planning is going it is effecting your family. You should try to talk to both of them about it, with you and your significant other present only.

[Brandy Hunter]

My *ahem* unofficial boyfriend isn't invited / allowed to come. I think they're doing it now just to bother me.

I talk to them before and they play dumb "Well we don't have the info".. and I tell them others have seen it and they said they didn't know how. Yeah.. smack my head on a wall.

[Kalmel]

Geezz, i totally know what you mean. My family takes the cake, icing/frosting and even the freeging cherry! Always someone not talking to someone..i'm always confused who's not talking to who! This year, my mom isnt talking to my older sister and brother. My dad isnt talking to my brother. My older sister isnt talking to my mother and brother. My younger sister isnt talking to my brother and my brother isnt talking to both sisters, mother, father.. see! it's freeging confusing
Last xmast was so bad that i bought several gift cards and who ever showed-up got one..