Extra curricular activies/programs for 3-5 year olds?

[corbinx]

I have a 3.5 year old daughter who is currently taking swimming lessons. I've noticed that a lot of my friends (mostly stay-at-home or moms that work casual) are putting their kids in everything from play school to music to gymnastics...you name it! In a perfect world I would like to put my daughter in dance, soccer, and pre-school as well but when I return from mat leave in two months to work almost full time hours it will be difficult to do anything other than keep up with swimming. Both my husband and I work some evenings and weekends and our day home is unable to drive kids anywhere as she takes care of many kids with misc. drop-off/pick-up times as well as young babies making it impossible to leave the house. I never went to kindergarden (much less play dates, lessons, etc) and my parents never did any at-home schooling to push for me to get ahead. I ended up doing excellent in school (although likely was more shy than might have been with more socialization). My daughter has regular group play dates once a month at our house as well as we have family/friends over to play in between or we go to their houses. I try to do some basic teaching at home...stories, crafts, workbooks, etc and she knows her ABCs, numbers, can recognize and write letters, knows all her basic colors/shapes, can do all her basic tasks (dress herself, go potty, help tidy up), and can speak quite well. We take her to the park and to some other community events when they come up so she does get out. She seems to be quite smart for her age (although I may be a bit biased)!
I'm worried that if we aren't able to put her in extra curricular activities she may fall behind her peers (or at least not max out her potential). I know I read that too many activities can be stressful for them and not allow them just to be a kid, but it would be nice to give her some options that I never had. I have allowed room in our budget for this (plus some of it could be claimed on taxes). I just don't know how to make it possible with our work hours (not to mention dragging along a one year old and the fact that I hate driving to begin with). At least with kindergarten we should be able to drop her off in the morning and get her on a bus from there to the day home, especially with the full-day option. Anyone out there have any suggestions or comments to help?

[vibrantflame]

This is just my opinion. But I think that extra-curricular activities are just that - extra. In terms of education, she won't fall behind her peers because she doesn't participate in extra-curricular activities, and it sounds like she gets a fair amount of socialization so I wouldn't worry about that either.

Remember too that she has her whole life ahead of her to live up to her potential...

As far as scheduling goes...find out what programs are available in your area and when they have them...maybe there will be something that works for you....I don't really have any suggestions, sorry!

[Zonny]

I have a friend like that, her DD has activities to go to several nights a week. Her parents go nuts getting her to her various activities, every day is a rush.

Personally, I don't want that. IMO, there's definitely such a thing as being over-scheduled. Our DS is five, and we limit him to two activities per week, one of which is typically swimming lessons. Historically, the second one has been gymnastics, basketball, soccer, or his current one which is a circus class.

I don't think that a kid will fall behind in any way by not having tons of extracurricular activities on their plate.

[erin9mmm]

Don't feel pressured by what others are doing with their children, it can become almost like a competition.
I felt almost guilty years ago when we couldn't afford to enroll my oldest in activities when she was your daughter's age. Once upon a time it was okay for kids just to play outdoors with friends but now their seems to be this need for it to be an organized activity.

[ninna]

Don't feel pressured by what others are doing with their children, it can become almost like a competition.
I felt almost guilty years ago when we couldn't afford to enroll my oldest in activities when she was your daughter's age. Once upon a time it was okay for kids just to play outdoors with friends but now their seems to be this need for it to be an organized activity.

There is enormous pressure on parents to make sure their kids participate in everything and have the chance to become the hockey star--music virtuoso--Olympic caliber swimmer--girl guide extraordinaire in addition to being a stellar student at school. And all this must be done in the measly 7 days we get in a week.

lol. Tongue in cheek, a little.

Don't get me wrong-- I think an extra curricular activity can be a real confidence booster for a child; at the same time, our society really seems to over-schedule children's lives and I'm not sure that's healthy for the kids or for the parents who spent their free hours after work doing "the soccer parent hustle." When you get a family with 3 or more kids who are all involved in 2 or 3 activities a week, you simply become a road warrior. Does it benefit the kids? Hmmm. I'm not so sure.

When I was growing up, I was lucky to be scheduled in an activity once a year (eg. 2 weeks of swimming lessons in the summer or an 8 week session of skating in the winter). During the rest of the time, I used my imagination as I trekked through the nearby woods with my big sister or caught frogs in the creek that ran through our farm. In all honesty, I think I turned out just fine.

Somewhere between the over-scheduled society option and the sparsely scheduled life I led as a child there is a balance.

Be content to measure your "success" by finding the balance that works for you and your family.

[RSAS]

They don't need all that. Infact, its too much for a 3-5 year old to handle and process. They need more time for "free play" then directed play. Kids these days spend too much time having "fun" at an adults direction and don't spend enough time making things up and using their imagination.

[Sabina]

I wouldn't worry at all. My 4 year old and 3 year old are in ballet together and are done on the 13th then is April 3 they will be going to dance. Thats it no more till the winter.

[anisa]

it's not for everyone, and that is ok!

at that age they really just need a lot of mommy time

[Natalka]

You are doing great as it is!

At her age, it's much more important to have family time, and play time! I always wonder about parents who multi-schedule their kids - do they just not know what to do with them at home, or how to encourage their own playtime and creativity?

Having one outside activity is just right at her age. It sounds like she is doing wonderfully - and you sound like great parents!

[mdutka]

when i was growing up i never was enrolled in any extra curricular activities, my parents couldnt afford any of that. when people at my work ask me if i have my boys enrolled in soccer or hockey and i say no, they act appalled, like how are they going to learn sports without that? instead of sending my kid off to soccer practice i prefer to just play soccer with them. not saying there is anything wrong with that if you have the time but i dont have time for both so id rather spend that time with them myself. having said that, i do take the boys for swimming lessons in the winter. they learn how to swim and it also teaches them to co-operate with strangers. i learned how to swim when we bought a house with a pool and my cousins were all swimming in it and i was too embarrassed to say i couldnt so i just dumped in the deep end, lol.