Doesn't it drive you crazy when people don't listen?

[Minou]

Darth Penguin: Walking a mile is what drove me crazy when I noticed a few years ago that the Extra Foods stores (mostly in lower-income areas) were charging more for non-grocery (including baby) items than RCSS was. (And the identical items were in each of the flyers on "sale"!) Anybody needing to walk to one of these run-down grocery stores was going to have to pay more money for the items they needed! And I know that "stocking up" and even coupon use tends to be more common in households with comfortable incomes (and really, those are the people being targeted through coupons -- people who have the money to try the new products. ) It's hard for people who don't have the extra money/time/freezer space/transportation to take advantage of deals and stock up. It's hard, too, for people who don't feel comfortable being assertive with cashiers when using coupons.

Most of the situations I'm referring to involving people daintily buying one or two items instead of stocking up have involved people having gross household incomes of $135,000-$165,000 a year.

(Are you passing judgment on me, Darth Penguin? )

[Darth Penguin]

Of course....I'm Mary poppins...Practically prefect in eevry wya.....

[kelly25]

Doesn't it drive you crazy when people don't listen?


*whattttt*


I had to..

[Shwa Girl]

Okay, I know people are entitled to make their own choices about how they spend their money, but it really drives me crazy when you tell someone about an incredible deal on expensive baby products you know they use frequently and need a large amount of on a weekly and monthly basis, and they don't act on it.

Their loss, I know, but AAARGH! They must see the situation differently, but I don't understand the thinking. Can anyone explain?

I think one lady on Extreme Couponing season # 1 said it best, "Baby, you ain't been broke enough".

[MiaowTheCat]

Shwa Girl, I would think that too! But I've actually seen this mentality mostly with friends who are REALLY broke!!! I tried helping out a friend this year since she has two small kids (and her DH also has a college-aged daughter) and she complains that she will never be able to afford her own home/can't buy the family jam more than once every month or two months since her DH considers it too expensive to buy on a regularly basis, yet these are the very people who buy Oasis 960 ml juice at $2.99 at convenience stores since the stores are "just across the street" and those small 250 ml bottles of Vim also for $2.99 at the same stores while we were getting them for FREE!!

They don't shop for deals at ALL: she goes to one supermarket once a week, buys at least $50 of groceries each time (since, in her words "this way, I get delivery FREE") and has NO clue even what a good price for diapers is!!!! I started researching Huggies a bit for her back in November and even bought them for her when I saw them on clearance (wasn't completely dense though, made sure to do them on 20x days and YES, I kept the peelies!! I figured it was my "payment" lol).

And the icing on the cake- it's as if the sale didn't really matter to her! I think it's for many of the reasons mentioned- partially because she wasn't the one to "discover" the deal, feeling "cheap" as if she couldn't afford 'full price' and thinking I am just a little bit strange always looking for deals. I felt stupid after a while lugging crap back to her place and her saying thanks but not really giving a thankful vibe KWIM?. It was sort of like "thanks, cool" but not appreciative? To top it off, last time I brought her diapers, she seemed unimpressed. I was thinking, "come on, you've never freakin' paid so little for diapers and I even did "door to door" service lol and you're still kind of indifferent???" I finally realized that she's just not interested and will go on forever in debt (like holly mentioned, most of these people do NOT have money to spare). She has no common sense, and actually looks down on people who spend time on saving money (in her words, she has no time for finding deals, even though both her kids are in daycare and she was not working until about 5-6 months ago). She has this problem in all aspects of her finances though-she refuses to buy a monthly bus pass, since she doesn't want to spend a large amount upfront (yet she has it to spare so that's not the issue) and she's using the bus at least 4 days a week with multiple trips due to work and picking up kids from daycare! I tried to show her the math and that she's actually spending MORE this way, but she refused to agree with me and just shrugged ?? Same thing about her cell phone....she has a horrible monthly plan that is, at first glance, super cheap (I think $20 a month) but she keeps using more minutes so that she sometimes ends up paying as much as $150 a MONTH! but when I told her about my unlimited monthly plan with another provider, she balked at switching because she didn't want to buy a new $50 phone?!? I just figured after that that there's no hope in having her see the light

So yes, I totally understand the frustration, and I won't lie, this has actually made me pull away from her as a friend in a way, because she's exhibited a few qualities I don't like through this situation (like misplaced pride, feeling superior to others, and a complete lack of logic, etc). Her DH makes less than mine, we have less expenses, and I am privileged to be able to coupon more for fun than necessity, but you know what, she can keep on paying full price 'cause I am not helping anymore lol.

[MamaF]

I think the term "misplaced pride" is an excellent one, I think that sums up the experience in my case!

[bluzsuz]

don't sweat it lol... we need SOME people to pay full price so that the company's can afford continue to offer sale prices and coupons for us Smart Canucks

I know this has been said before and discussed here too, but couponing is a lot of work, once in a while I will post a pic for friends and family to see our savings on FB, and I get all these inbox's wanting some of the stuff I just got a great deal on? Or can I give them extra coupons so they can go get it too? Or how do they get started?
I gladly give advice on how to do it and what sites to use - but I'm not handing over coupons and product that I have taken months to collect, trade for and get on trains and patiently wait for the right sales....
Sorry charlie - I work hard for these deals and I'm not going to hand them to you on a silver platter.
Selfish? maybe.... but I don't lose sleep over it.

[greencanuck]

I have also tried to help a few people who are in similar tight finances.
Most people are not willing to make the effort for many personal reasons.

No one who was low-income was interested in price-matching and coupons, even when I could show that minimal effort could result in 50-75% savings on every item.
There are a couple of people who are slightly more comfortably financially situated, but are willing to learn a few basic things. They are open to the concept of doubling their shopping dollar.


I also have had a few incidents where someone basically wanted my most amazing bargains to be given to them for nothing.

When I try to explain that getting things for free or close to it, is like a part-time job in my effort (ie research time, shopping time, lists, obtaining coupons, obtaining discount items, etc )- I get a blank look from them.

To them, items are measured only by their federal dollar outlay and any time, knowledge or effort that is utilized instead of actual money is worth nothing at all.

[MiaowTheCat]

Very well said greencanuck! I guess they figure since they are our "friends", it's normal for us to do the legwork and for them to benefit from it!

[Darth Penguin]

I think the term "misplaced pride" is an excellent one, I think that sums up the experience in my case!

That was/is my mother. My sister and I could have got subsidised school meals but she wouldn't take them since she wanted to show she could provide for us.
That money she paid out would have made a difference to our weekly/monthly requests. We both suffer with feet problems as we only got 1 pair of school shoes a year, for example.

With both our first psychecks DSis and I bought our own sanitary protection. At one time, we were sharing an old-fashioned belt for towels between the 3 of us...


DM glares at me everytime I get a coupon out and mutters about having brought me up better..

[Darth Penguin]

Sooner or later, it gets to the point of "DO I want to fight this battle again or not??" If they don't take my advice on-board the first 2 or 3 times, then I drop it. It's not worth it...

When/if they want the advice they know where I am.

[Minou]

Darth Penguin: Brought you up better! What a thing for her to say! It sounds like she dragged you up by a used sanitary napkin belt! To deny you the things that you needed when she didn't have to is terrible!

Greencanuck: People are amazing. Wonderful how they value having something for a good price but undervalue the work involved, even though they don't want to put the effort in themselves.

Interesting that people with lower incomes often don't have any interest in using coupons to help them get more for their money. The Walmart nearest me seems to have a large lower-income clientele, and yet I don't see this same group at the Superstore right next door. For some reason, people have the idea that Walmart is always the cheapest place to shop. I often see very young parents (who look like they've lived a hard life) there buying things like diapers. All too often, the diapers they're buying aren't on sale, and are often $10 cheaper at Superstore! One time, there was a teenage mother there with HER mother, and the girl was going to pick up a full-price box of diapers. "Aren't you going to wait until you get your cheque?" her mother asked. I mentioned that the diapers were cheaper NEXT DOOR at Superstore, and I had to give them DIRECTIONS to get there! I'm sure that many Walmarts are different (but then again, looking at the People of Walmart website, I'm not so sure), but I kind of feel depressed even going into that store. The slogan may be "Save money, live better.", but I'm seeing a lot of people spending a lot more than they need to there, and it's money that they could easily save to make their lives better.

After hearing about some of my deals on kids' clothing/shoes/boots buying things at the end of seasons, my dad once said, "Boy oh boy. People with low incomes should shop like that. A kids' winter jacket for $7.50?" I explained that a lot of people don't pay attention, and a lot of others just don't have the extra money to buy ahead.

[MiaowTheCat]

Minou, yep, it's unfortunate that so many people fall for the Walmart trap all the time. Sure, there are deals there just like any other store, but like you said, so many items there not on sale are actually more expensive than elsewhere. I only go there with a specific purpose, maybe to PM or to pick up a sale item, but I always see cartloads of stuff being pushed around and people with their grocery list who clearly will just buy at that one store and not comparison shop.

I can't believe you needed to give directions! LOL

[Shwa Girl]

For a few years, I was criticized by my co-worker for being "cheap". Just last week, she came to me and said, tell me how you get great deals on flights. This turned into a long conversation. We ended up talking about refinancing mortgages and she got 2.9% (thanks goes to MortgageQueen for the info) at TD. I also persuaded her to start saving her 1% raise she got in 2012 and live on 2011 pay.

So patience with friends and family is the key. Also being strong to let the snide remarks go over your head. They will see that you "walk the talk" and that's what will change them.

[jayne_a]

A family member of mine was saying that they had to go to the store to pick up a few items. I told them I had coupons for almost everything on their list and that i had a coupon of FPC's for some of their stuff as well that they could have. (i always keep my coupons in the car) well he actually yelled at me. Told me i was pathetic, coupons were hurting me financially and that i was being scammed by big companies ( the coupon conspiracy) . WTF !!I tried to explain to him that i use coupon for stuff i actually use/need. I don't have a dog, but i do have dog food coupons, doesn't mean i'm gonna go buy 5 bags. He just got madder. I figured i could have cut his grocery bill by 75% or more. His loss.