A few LOLS for you.....

[Crochetlady]

Too funny!

[Momof3girlies]

[Momof3girlies]

[bluerose]

[dededi]

[dededi]

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[MortgageQueen]

Here are the 10 first place winners in
the International Pun Contest

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."


2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

[MortgageQueen]

Why teachers drink
Thought this might brighten your day! (or not)

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 18 year olds!!!!)

Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q... What happens to your body as you age
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A.. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U (wth?!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

[Natalka]

Not often that a Deal is a LOL, but this is -



Clip In Man Bun

For the Man Who Wears Many Hats, but No Bun

One of the hottest trends in men’s fashion, the man bun has been popularized by fixed-gear bicyclists and introspective Hollywood actors alike. But although the hairstyle oozes with fashion sense, those who sport it might find themselves outcasts in sports bars, motorcycle gangs, and the annual government-mandated machismo test. This attachable—and, equally important, detachable—man bun lets you blend in with your surroundings, putting it on when you smell fair-trade coffee or hear a banjo, and taking it off when someone utters the word bro.
How To Wear It

1. Comb your hair back toward the crown of your head, in a similar motion to lacquering a reclaimed-wood coffee table
2. Attach the man bun to your natural hair the way the lay public attached itself to Arcade Fire
3. Use bobby pins to secure the man bun, decide bobby pins are too mainstream, use antique paper clips instead

$9.99 - (Oh, bummer, not available in Canada)

https://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-instant-man-bun

[dededi]

[dededi]