I'm so beside myself and very upset

[es89]

I'VE BEEN SITTING ON THIS FOR AWHILE TRYING TO THINK HOW I AS A MOM OF 2, ADULT KIDS. IN 2009 MY SON MEET A GIRL AT A BAR, SHE TRIED TO CHANGE HIM RIGHT FROM THE START OF THEM MEETING, SHE TOLD HIM THAT SHE COULDN'T GET PREGNANT FOR THREE YEARS, SUMMER OF 2009 MY NEIGBOURS HAD A BABY GIRL AND MOM SAID SHE WAS GOING TO CUT HER HAIR I SAID DONT BECAUSE SHE WAS ONLY ABOUT A COUPLE OF MONTHS OLD I SAID SHE WAS TO YOUNG BECAUSE SHE HAS BEAUTIFUL JET BLACK HAIR, ANYWAYS TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT HIS GIRLFRIEND HAD SAID THAT WASN'T GOING TO BE THEIR KIDS WAITED FOR HER TO GO HOME ASKED SON ABOUT WHAT SHE SAID AND ASKED HIM IF HE WAS GOING TO MARRY HER OR PLANNING ON HAVING A KID WITH HER, HE SAID NO, I TOLD HIM, I HEARD WHAT SHE HAD SAID , I TOLD HIM IF YOU ARE PLANNING ON HAVING KIDS YOU WILL BE MARRIED FIRST THEN KIDS LATER, LOW AND BEHOLD ONE MONTH LATER AFTER HE BROKEUP WITH HER SHE CAME AND TOLD HIM, SHE WAS PREGNANT HE HAD COME TO ME AND TOLD ME, I TOLD HIM, YOUR GOING TO HAVE A PATERNITY TEST. HE SAID THAT SHE WASNT GOING TO TAKE HIM TO COURT LOW AND BEHOLD SHE DID TAKE HIM TO COURT AND I TOLD HIM HE MUST CAME AND TELL ME WHEN SHE DOES BECAUSE HE WAS NOT GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS OWN HIS OWN,, I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF THAT STATEMENT, HE WENT THROUGH IT ON HIS OWN NOT KNOWING WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN FOUND OUT WHEN PAPERS CAME IN MAIL, HE DIDNT HAVE A PATERNITY TEST MY HUSBAND AND I MADE HIM GO BACK TO GET ORDERS FOR A PATERNITY TEST BABY WAS HIS. MY HUSBAND AND I TALKED AND WE SAID THAT WE WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW HER BECAUSE SHE HAD OUR GRANDBABY WE WENT FOR FAMILY PICTURES AND WE ALL (even her), SPENT ALOT OF TIME WITH HER AND EVEN GOT MY SON AND HER BACK TOGETHER TWICE BUT SHE IS CONTROOLING AND TRY TO BE MY SONS MOTHER HES GOT A MOM THANK YOU EVERY MUCH AND PUTS HIM IN HIS PLACE WHEN NEEDED STILL TO THIS DAY TO MAKE A EVEN LONGER STORY SHORTER HAD GRANDBABY SINCE HE WAS 11MONTHS OLD WHEN SHE WENT BACK TO WORK SHE WAS NOTHING BUT RUDE AND REVENGEFUL, TOWARDS MY SON AND ME AND MY HUSBAND BABY IS NOW OVER 2 YERS OLD AND NOW IT A FIGHT IN COURT FOR MY SON FOR ACCESS TO HIS SON BABY LOVES US ALL . SHE IS NOW OUT OF FAMILY HER CHOICE SHE WENT AS FAR AS ACTING LIKE WIFE TO MY HUSBAND THAT JUST DOESNT WASH WITH US. WE JUST NOW WANT GRANDBABY. SHE IS EVIL LITTLE GIRL.

[Speckled28]

Hmm......I'm not really sure how to tackle that. I guess my only thought would be....evil or not....that woman will NEVER be out of your family....not as long as your family and your son want to see that child. Your son may end up with someone else.....the woman may end up with someone else....but as long as that childs in the middle....the mother will always be involved to some extent.

It's really a shame when things like this happen.....especially for the poor children that get stuck inbetween

[es89]

You are so write about that and yes it is a shame when kids are stuck in the middle of it so true.

[MillieH]

I guess the bottom line is if you want to spend time with your grandchild, its a really good idea to stay friendly with the momma. You have to decide if you want to be right or you want to have your grandchild in your life. You stand a better chance of more time if you suck it up..

If your mother in law was mean, you'd spend the least time you could with her and you'd keep your kids away too.. its just how it goes.. I'm really sorry you are in a situation like this.. its sooo sad when relationships with kids break down .. everyone seems to lose a bit of themselves..

[es89]

Oh yes my in-laws are mean and we dont talk anymore havent talked to them in over 15years expectally when my sister in law called my then 12yr old son an asshole thats why and another reasons we dont talk treat mom in law treats her own son like and his sister as well we are so much happier not talking no love loss there. Cant be nice to the mom because she doesnt what to be nice to us again by her choice only weve tried but she is nothing but plain old mean and miserable............

[nicolthepickle]

Umm, I have no idea what the whole story is, but I would bet that this girl didn't have a loving family growing up.

[sharkie]

I guess this is why people should not have unprotected sex before marriage...I believe that people should get to know each other well first before having children...I am sorry your son has had to go through this...some people might think what i wrote to be offensive but it was not intended to be that way....the same thing thing happened to one of my younger cousins

[darlataz]

it happens to married couples too.....

[es89]

to nicolthepickle
you are so right on that one she doesnt to this day have loving family.

[es89]

sharkie
We told him to use prtection but didnt listen to us, but we have a beautiful grandbaby out of this and we love him so much as he loves us.

[es89]

darlataz
You are so right on that one.

[Darth Penguin]

Exactly sharkie...OPs son sowed his wild oats and a crop appeared. we now have an innocent child whose needs are the uppermost in from his family.

[Darth Penguin]

BUT SHE IS CONTROOLING AND TRY TO BE MY SONS MOTHER HES GOT A MOM THANK YOU EVERY MUCH AND PUTS HIM IN HIS PLACE WHEN NEEDED

IMHO...he's an adult and adults don't need thier mothers running their lives let alone having one putting their son in his place....needed or not.

HAD GRANDBABY SINCE HE WAS 11MONTHS OLD WHEN SHE WENT BACK TO WORK SHE WAS NOTHING BUT RUDE AND REVENGEFUL, TOWARDS MY SON AND ME AND MY HUSBAND BABY IS NOW OVER 2 YERS OLD AND NOW IT A FIGHT IN COURT FOR MY SON FOR ACCESS TO HIS SON BABY LOVES US ALL . SHE IS NOW OUT OF FAMILY HER CHOICE SHE WENT AS FAR AS ACTING LIKE WIFE TO MY HUSBAND THAT JUST DOESNT WASH WITH US. WE JUST NOW WANT GRANDBABY. SHE IS EVIL LITTLE GIRL.

Really... let your son live his life...If he wants to make his life with this woman and thier child you should back off and give them the space to do so.

If he doesn't, then he should take the responsiblity for HIS child. The child should always come first.

At least she's working and not "gasp" sponging off the country's purse.

[sharkie]

oh I am sure you love your grandchild and that you are a wonderful grandparent...I hope it all works out well for you

[wamme]

his has anything to do with couponing?