Other parents make me mad

[Zonny]

My DS's birthday is tomorrow, he's turning eight. We sent out birthday party invitations in his school bag to seven kids for this coming weekend, sent them out on Friday. At this point (Tuesday night), two have replied. I did give a cutoff date of Wednesday, but why can't people respond more quickly (if they do at all)?

In the past we've had half the people invited not say no, but simply not reply at all to say no my kid can't come. I don't care about the money we're paying for the minimum numbers, I care about my DS's feelings being hurt by many people not coming. If they reply on time to say they CAN'T come, we can invite other kids. Surely as parents, these people realize how much this hurts THEIR kid when only a few kids come? Why can't they just send a quick email, leave a voicemail, give us a chance to give him some numbers? ARGH.

[Connie106]

I experienced the same thing in planning DD's birthday this year - lots of no responses. what upset me more is that she got invited to 2 classmates' parties whose parents had not bothered to RSVP to her party. She really wanted to go to one, so I let her. tried to be the bigger person b/c at 6 yrs old, I still want her to keep some of that innocence...

[Shwa Girl]

Yes. The child's feelings get hurt. They are only little people and do not understand why big people can be so cruel. Sometimes a party is so much work.

Sometimes a Cineplex $2.50 movie with a few close friends,
plus Bulk Barn snacks (they get their own bag to choose a snack)
plus a small Dollarama shopping trip:each child gets 5 loonies to spend in 15 minutes

is a nice memorable birthday

[Insane]

My daughter's 5th birthday party. We had 2 kids show up who had not even bothered to RSVP!! They just showed up. Fortunately I had extra loot bags and extra balloons!

For 2 years in a row, this one kid would call the morning of and say he's coming (not ask if it is still okay, just say he was coming). Then his parents would always be late picking him up! We didn't invite him this past year. We started to limit the # of kids this year to the girls in her class.

Birthday parties can be so frustrating for the parents!

[Darth Penguin]

Personally, as a parent, if i got an invite ion Friday for a weeks time and had to respond by Tuesday ..so 3 days to check and double check...I'd not be responding at once either..

Now given how less than pro-active smll children can be, do you know the parents got the invite, are they still in your son's bag? or are his friends less than likely to pass the invites on?

At that age, I'm talking to the parent's rather than relying on the children to be responsible.

[Chantel]

Might be a little short notice sending out invites Friday for a response by Wednesday. Some Fridays our schoolbags never got unpacked (aside from the lunch kit) until after school again Monday.

But I still totally get your frustration. It's easier than ever for people to communicate via text or facebook, it should take literally seconds to rsvp. I don't know why people can't do it! I have the courtesy to even say no to facebook event invites if I'm not going to go.

[francine1985]

happy birthday to your ds.

[bargain_hunter_lola]

I encountered this during DD's birthday last year.

I sent out invitations just over 2 weeks before and asked people to RSVP 6 days before the actual party.

She invited 12 kids and at the RSVP cut off (9 days or so to respond) I had only heard from 4 of the parents.

So, I sent out a reminder email to the other 8 and almost EVERY parent responded within 2 days.

I worded it so that it wasn't confrontational. Something along the lines of "I know that there has been a problem with invitations being lost or misplaced in the past so I just wanted to confirm that you received the invite. XXXX is super excited to see XXXX at her party but if you're unable to attend that's totally understandable - it's a busy time of year. Please let me know either way so I can let her know. Feel free to email back or call me at XXXXXX".

That really seemed to work well. Apparently most parents don't like the phone now and only respond by email. lol. From now on I think I'll be putting my email address and phone number for the RSVP contact.

Turned out that 10 kids came and only 2 did not. I never received a response from 1 and 1 emailed me back and said that she was sorry to make me wait and wonder and that he can't go and she should have known to reply. I got the impression from her she didn't think she had to reply UNLESS he was coming.

I've started to add in a phase of replying either way now. DS's invite for next month says: "Kindly reply AYE or NAY to first mate by XXXXX or ye shall walk thee plank!". Can you tell it's a Pirate Party? lol

Anyway, I'm sorry you're going through this! Hope it all works out and of course HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR DS.

[Zonny]

Thanks everyone!

Really, five days is short notice? I thought that was kind of generous, we've gotten invites on a Thursday for a Sunday party (obviously we were part of the backup plan).

The invites were sent in a school message bag, the teacher takes them out and puts them in the appropriate kids bag. Mine doesn't generally dig into his message bag, we do when he gets home. The RSVP included email and phone - we don't know most of the parents personally, so don't have contact info unless we've responded to each other on parties before.

So far we still only have two respondents. Hopefully they both show up! He's already bummed about there being only two.

[angel_2011]

you might be surprised how many will RSVP today.

For DS's party, we invited 30 kids. The RSVP cut-off date was 2 weeks after the invites were sent and 3 days prior to the birthday. 12 parents RSVP'd saying they were attending - 9 vial email, 3 via phone. 1 kid showed up at the party without RSVPing. Majority of them RSVP'd the day of the cut-off date. Some just wait till last minute.
Oh and the remainder 18 kids? i didn't hear from their parents at all.

[bargain_hunter_lola]

Thanks everyone!

Really, five days is short notice? I thought that was kind of generous, we've gotten invites on a Thursday for a Sunday party (obviously we were part of the backup plan).

The invites were sent in a school message bag, the teacher takes them out and puts them in the appropriate kids bag. Mine doesn't generally dig into his message bag, we do when he gets home. The RSVP included email and phone - we don't know most of the parents personally, so don't have contact info unless we've responded to each other on parties before.

So far we still only have two respondents. Hopefully they both show up! He's already bummed about there being only two.

I would say 5 days is short notice. Most working families wouldn't have time to buy a gift. Also if their child is in an activity on the weekend or they have other plans...

I have DS's birthday party invites all stamped and ready to mail. I'll be putting them in the mail Friday, his party is May 3rd. I figure CP will take about a week to deliver so everyone still has 3 weeks to plan.

For class parties I do 2-3 weeks. And that's been about average for the parties DD has been invited too.

We also give the invites to the teacher but there has been some mix ups in the past so I decided to email to confirm. Our class has a master email list for parents so I used that.

Maybe you could print off a reminder notice and have the teacher put it in the kids bags tomorrow? Some parents need a reminder...

Good luck

[Zonny]

We're up to three, and added a fourth. Apparently one family is in Russia right now (didn't know that obviously), and one is Jehova's Witnesses who don't celebrate birthdays (or offer any replies to birthday party invitatations).

As for working families, that's what we are. That's why I have a stash of gifts that i get on clearance. If you have other plans, that's when you send the email to the parent saying, "Oh, too bad, we'd love to come, but we have other plans!" At least that's what I do! We've never been given two weeks notice for a b-day party, but I guess things are just different in different places.

[Mia001]

Zonny, doesn't you son has cousins of the same age or around who he gets along well with.....it might be a good idea to phone and invite them if they are not living too far

[Mia001]

[Zonny]

Seven kids really isn't so big is it? Ours has no brothers or sisters, and his cousins are 15+years older and live in other provinces. He really doesn't know them anyhow. He has a second cousin who is five, she will probably come, but that's it.