I've never had anyone pass away before ...

[tasha313]

I'm sorry I haven't been on a lot this week.:.. One of my great friends passed away . We had such chemistry and all.. His mom actually had to ask me to go through his music (he's a dj) to fix it up for the funeral cause I was the only one that knew his programs and his music ..
I never had anyone close to me pass away before and I don't know what to do ... On top of it he took away his own life in a very mental image inducing manner ... Is it normal that helping his mom out and going through his things help ? And also that I'm anxious for the funeral because I don't think it's real til I see it ? I still feel like hell pickup the phone and tell me it was a really bad joke ...

[saveadollardiva]

I am so sorry for your lost Tasha313. It's always hard to lose someone close to you. By you helping his mom out the way you are it will ease some of the stress and pain I am sure she is feeling right now. And by you helping her out you will feel better as well. I am sure your friend would want you to be there for her. When someone passes away, the way I deal with it is remembering the person as they were in life, not as they passed. I also don't look at them as gone forever. I know everyone has their own view on things, but, I think and feel the people we lose will be there to meet us on the other side.

If I were you I would celebrate his life, his character and his accomplishments in life. This will help you to remember the great memories you had with him. We often forget how great a person was because we are so sad because they are gone.

I hope you and his mom can find peace during this time.

[Zonny]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.

I've lost a few people in recent years. For me, keeping busy was what held me together, which is kind of what you're doing with helping his mom out with things. Being with people who are also going through the same thing and know what you're going through also seems to help. It's awful to have that image in your head, I had a cousin take his own life a few years ago.

I know it's very hard, I hope you get through it all OK.

[vesper]

For me, I started to write what her life meant to me, like a book. Wrote all my favorite memories.

[i_forget]

It is really hard to deal with a death that is totally unexpected. Especially one like this.

Do what you can is to help and support anyone involved. If you cannot do something, do not do it. People will understand because they are going through the same thing that you are. They will lean on you, you can lean on them.

Your emotions are real and raw, so it is going to be hard, but as time passes, the pain will lessen.

Thinking about all of the good times is the best thing that you can do.....it will give you the strength to heal.

I am so sorry for you loss.

[tasha313]

For me, I started to write what her life meant to me, like a book. Wrote all my favorite memories.

What an original idea !

Thanks everyone for your support .. I'm glad I'm somewhat reacting normally . I've never had to live through this so I didn't know it was normal To have such an urgent urge to help his family and all .

[Autum]

So sorry for your loss Tasha.I know how hard it is,I lost 3 friends this year to Multiple myeloma( which I also have) & it is quite a shock even though you are half expecting it in my case but not yours which is much harder for you.Bless you for helping his Mom & he still lives on in the good memories you have of him.

[Natalka]

I am very sorry for your loss, it's very tragic.

It's very kind of you to help his mom go through things. As others said, keep the good memories close to your heart.

If there is a chance to go to a visitation or prayers before the funeral, sometimes that's a good idea because it takes the awful rawness because it's a bit more private for grieving.

[tasha313]

Thanks autum and Natalka.

[anisa]

I'm so sorry you lost your friend

I've never had to go through the death of someone close, but it sounds like you are dealing as well as can be expected.

[DiamondLil]

My condolences. I agree with the above posters, remember your friend the way he was with you, not with the way he passed. Be there to help his mother, she must be going through a personal hell with losing her son like this and must appreciate all the help, support and everything you are offering her.

I am very sorry for your loss.

[cheekysaver]

I am so sorry for your loss! It is hard to loose somebody but this is one way we can help. What kind of music does he have in his collection? I mean genres ... we can help you find some songs and ease that burden a bit.
Here is the first one I can think of

This song is for those that have left us too soon.

[roseofblack25]

Since my dad passed away I have just kind of thrown myself into work...Working 60+ hours a week between two jobs leaves me no time or energy to sit and think about things too much. I mean I do still think about it, but I have distractions that put my focus elsewhere. When I do have days off I tend to not do too well even still because all I think about is the day of his death walk through how everything was normal and happy until I got that message from my sister. I always, like you, feel like I will go home to visit and he will be there.

[tasha313]

I am so sorry for your loss! It is hard to loose somebody but this is one way we can help. What kind of music does he have in his collection? I mean genres ... we can help you find some songs and ease that burden a bit.
Here is the first one I can think of

This song is for those that have left us too soon.

He has every genre. Other than turntables he(we) would mix with an onscreen mixer and make all kinds of mega mixes. I just had to find them and all the music he liked best for that day. We are playing HIS music .. No sad stuff or anything else . There's one song I found that we would listen to to go to sleep sometimes and it was his relaxing song ... Enya - only time .
I listened to it on my way to work this morning and cried .
You guys should listen and tell me what you think.
I may be going to help his mother again today .

[tasha313]

Since my dad passed away I have just kind of thrown myself into work...Working 60+ hours a week between two jobs leaves me no time or energy to sit and think about things too much. I mean I do still think about it, but I have distractions that put my focus elsewhere. When I do have days off I tend to not do too well even still because all I think about is the day of his death walk through how everything was normal and happy until I got that message from my sister. I always, like you, feel like I will go home to visit and he will be there.

That's the strangest feeling ever no???? I always feel that hell pick up the phone ... Post something online .. Send me a new song he found ..
I always feel like I can call and hell pick up