Cat problems :(

[katmunster]

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to talk about my cat, shes my baby and i love her with all of my heart. it saddens me to say that i have to give her up

ive had this cat since she was a kitten, shes about 3 years old now. shes very sweet but since my boyfriend moved in shes been terrified of being out from her hiding spots when im not around. not sure why shes scared of him as shes fine with other guys. and now that i work longer hours and weekends, i feel like im not giving her enough attention.

i have been looking for a no kill shelter that will take her. i have emailed a couple of places but havent gotten a response as of yet. im not sure what the cause of her fear is and as shes been living in fear for almost 2 years and its only getting worse, i feel like im running out of options. i hate the idea of giving her up but i dont have much of a choice, it would be best for her. ill be heartbroken but if she finds a better home then i think im doing the right thing.

just looking for some support as its a tough situation for me, and any advice would be appreciated.

thanks for reading

[FallenPixels]

You will not find a spot at a decent no kill shelter in summer, we have a waiting list that will last through Christmas at our local one and an excuse like yours will put you at the bottom of the list the only priorities are where the owner died. Most will only have space outside of kitten season (Nov-Feb) and by the time they work through the backlog of requests, its kitten season again.

If your cat is fine with other men, I would really question why she is so scared of him - honestly, if my cats were that scared of a guy, he wouldn't be coming back, forget moving in. But it sounds like your best bet would be rehoming her yourself to someone she does trust.

If she doesn't do well with your BF she might be terrified in a shelter and sit in a cage for months because who wants to adopt the scared cat when there are lovebugs to take home

[Moreink]

"If your cat is fine with other men, I would really question why she is so scared of him - honestly, if my cats were that scared of a guy, he wouldn't be coming back, forget moving in"

Sorry, but have to agree with this. Why is the cat scared of him?

[katmunster]

im not sure why shes scared of him, he doesnt do anything, he feeds her, changes her litter, its been like that since day 1. shes find with him when im around but wont come out even to eat or go to the bathroom when im not around.

i really dont know what i can do about that, he even tried bribing her with treats that didnt work either

[darwinsmistake]

if my animals dont like someone neither do i but maybe he could try changing cologne

[snuffaluffagus]

Totally agree with FallenPixels in regards to a shelter being able to take her in. I'm not sure about the area you live in but, just on the island of Montreal, approximately 80 000 cats and dogs are killed every year in shelters/pounds for lack of homes, the majority being cats .

The first question that comes to mind is when did she last see a vet? Any drastic change in behavior always warrants a vet visit with a complete check-up including blood/urine tests. Is she spayed? If not, do so asap. You'd be amazed at how this will help with any personality issues.

Did your BF do something to frighten her? Is he loud? There are so many reasons she may be afraid of him that might seem so small to us but, can mean a lot to her.

Some things you might want to try to improve the situation:

1. He can be the one to feed her.
2. When she's hiding, don't attempt to coax her out. You BF should spend 10-15 minutes daily sitting on the floor at least 8-10 feet away and can just quietly read out loud from a book. This way, she can get used to his voice and his scent at the same time without feeling threatened.
3. If she does venture out, he can gently toss her a treat or two.
4. He should not attempt to pet her or pick her up at this point. Everything in baby steps. If she shows any hesitation at all, he is not to touch her.
5. When he's done, he should quietly get up and move away slowly.

As for the time you yourself spend with her. Are you able to sacrifice only 10-15 minutes every evening to play with her? That's all it takes really. There are so many cat toys available but my favorite are feathers attached to a long stick. It gets you to interact with her and she gets much needed exercise chasing it around. Have your BF sit quietly in the same room with you as you play with her.

Really, all it takes is a little patience and commitment on your and your BF's part to potentially save her life and have the relationship you'd both like with her.

Good luck.

[katmunster]

if my animals dont like someone neither do i but maybe he could try changing cologne

the guy im with is amazing, not sure why she doesnt like him, she would sleep on his side of the bed when hes not around. also he doesnt wear anything with a smell to it due to his job.

she actually started hissing at my dad too, i cant not like my dad...

im gonna take her to the vet and get her checked up before i make the final decision to surrender, just in case there could be another solution.

im not saying i want to give her up, but in the last 6 months its gotten worse, with me too, she gets aggressive or skiddish depending on the day

i have no idea what caused this but i cant see her live in fear for the rest of her life

[snuffaluffagus]

... in the last 6 months its gotten worse, with me too, she gets aggressive or skiddish depending on the day

A vet check is definitely in order. Please don't forget a full blood panel including thyroid.

I would also take a close look at what you are feeding her. Cats are obligate carnivores and poor quality diets can wreck havoc on them both physically and mentally.

Here's a thorough website that deals with cat nutrition. It will take you a while to get through it but, it's totally invaluable for understanding feline nutritional needs. www.catinfo.org

[katmunster]

thanks ill have a look and get a vet check this week
thanks for the advice

[FallenPixels]

Also ask your vet about calming meds if it is a stress issue, Feliway is amazing if you don't want to try meds too, I used it before we put it in the shelter rooms so I was already a fan of it but the difference in the shelter was amazing

[Hollywood1818]

i agree with everyone to go to the vet...before one of my dogs died he started to lose eyesight and because of that started acting out (kinda similar to how your cat is acting aggressively sometimes) because he couldn't see very well

[katmunster]

made an appointment for tomorrow will update then

thanks everyone

[snuffaluffagus]

made an appointment for tomorrow will update then

thanks everyone

Good luck!! And please keep us updated on how she's doing.

[Lynn49]

Oh, this must make you so sad....sorry to hear about your poor kitty..I hope the vet has some suggestions to facilitate your keeping her...best wishes, Hon...

[Jody22002]

Giving her to a shelter isn't the answer. She will likely be just as terrified with someone new and if the No Kill Shelters in your area are like the ones in mine, you aren't going to be able to get her in. There is a huge waiting list and the cats that actually don't have homes take priority over the ones that do.

I am glad you are taking her to the vet. I hope he/she will have some suggestions for you. We have a cat that hides most of the time. There is no reason for her to. She just doesn't like people. Once in awhile, if the house is really quiet, she will sneak up to the end of the bed and lie down but I can count on one hand the number of times I have been able to pet her. She does, however, get lots of loving from the dog. It's weird but she seems content. She lives in my DD's bedroom and doesn't come out unless she needs the litterbox or to eat.