QOTD: Wed. 7 May - Dating Deal Breakers

[Natalka]

So, you meet someone, have some sort of attraction, you seem to like the same things, can talk with each other - and you go on a date...

But then something seems wrong.... it could be a minor irritation or something big...


Annoying habits, no chemistry, problems communicating.... there are a variety of reasons which can raise a red banner after one date, or even more - things that make you say, "No, that's a deal breaker!" - and it's time to move on.

What have been deal breakers for you when dating?

What makes you ditch your guy/gal?

[i_forget]

I need communication, maturity, honesty, openness, humour, kindness and chemistry. If The person I am dating does not have those, then it is over.

[Natalka]

I have several, but I'll start with the one that spurred me to ask the thread question:

I was in my early 20s, was introduced to a man at church, by his sister who was in our city visiting him - and I knew her because she had lived next door to me in residence at university. Seemed like a nice guy, good family, similar background to me - and we started dating. He had recently moved to our city.

I'm not sure how long it was (five months?) before we went on a road trip to see my sister's family for Easter - and I knew on that car ride that this was not going to go any further.

I was driving on the highway and he started critiquing my driving - seriously! Apparently I wasn't do this or that, and he kept it up the whole four hour trip...

He was a driving instructor, and I sure got the brunt of his expertise.
(I am a very good driver!)

So here we were, at my sister's - and she is thinking wow, I must really like this guy if I'm introducing him to extended family, but at that point it was a definite NO, and I just had to get through that weekend somehow...

[toban]

Deal breakers for me- every second word is a swear, abusive in any way, disrespectful towards myself and others.

[thriftygranny]

Lack of manners, especially table manners,Just can't overlook this.Have thrown in the towel on a few relationships for this!

[frugal50]

poor money management, being in debt is my biggest deal breaker!!

[acosta]

HUGE deals breakers are: education (I hate to hear the word 'like' every other word); manners (must must must); respect (self, me and others); clip your finger nails; wash up well; no major money issues etc. etc. etc. :D

[electric_viking]

if she's not breathing, then it's a deal breaker.

[SassyAshley]

Deal Breakers for me:

Someone who does not have time for me, I do not want to have to stand on my head to get your attention. Yes I understand he has a life outside of dating me but when we try to make plans and start talking weeks away because you have this to do and that to do and your going out town and this friends needs that and that friends need this and I cannot even get half an hour for coffee I check out.

As well as someone who has to constantly comment on everything you do or judging you actions. You do not work my job do not tell me how to do my job, yes I realize a salad is much healthier than a burger but I had salad for lunch and I need more than just veggies, small stuff like constantly telling me how you would have done something, I am not you and do not judge my every action I am not perfect but I can live with it.

[bargain_hunter_lola]

I'm not sure I have too many "deal breakers" since I've been with DH pretty much all of my adult life (was 20 when we started dating).

The one thing he did when we met that I HATED was smoking. Disgusting. I told him that he couldn't smoke around me or before we kissed. Within 2 months of dating he quit and has never smoked again.

But I guess if for some reason I had to start dating again I would need a man with maturity, honesty, loyalty, manners, one who is trust-worthy and who is good with my kids. And of course non-smoking. lol

[MrsSunshine]

I'm with Lola. exactly although it was a little longer before he quit.

[coyote00]

Self centered people bother me as well as those with bad manners.

[electric_viking]

Self centered people bother me .

a few of those around here.

[travelgeek]

Smoking, dishonest, disrespectful, financially irresponsible, not ambitious, lazy. There are likely more, but these are the ones that are absolutely not negotiable.

[travelgeek]

Another one: using her cell phone while on the date (unless she's specifically mentioned in advance a legitimate reason)