all of our money goes into one pot so how do i budget christmas?

[anawhatsme]

he works full time and brings home most of the money.
i work casually and pretty much just supplement.
all of our incoming monies go into one pot.
from that pot everything gets paid, left over gets used if needed, etc.
we don't have separate money or allowances.
this works fine but it's hard at christmas.

any ideas on how to create a christmas budget for both of us?
we have 2 kids, family members on both sides and each other, to buy for.
wondering if our main pot pays for everyone but us, then we get our own "each other" budget.
ugh - it gets so complicated.

i think it would be nice if we each had our own money anyway, but i'm not sure of the best way to implement that.

[FLA]

This is a good problem to have in a family. Your choice of gift is more important than where is the money comes from. He will be happy if the gift is meaningful for him.

[anawhatsme]

i agree.
but it's easy for me - i control all the money.
i do all budgeting and make all payments.
he is the one that has a hard time because if he wants to buy me a gift, he has to ask me where we stand and what we can afford.
know what i mean?
i just think it's best if we have separate spending allowances and if we see something to buy, we buy it.
if he has it, it's his kind of thing.

not sure i'm explaining this well.

[dreamcatcher1962]

One thought is to take your total Christmas money budget and set a $ limit for everyone on your list.
Then you both know how much you have available to spend on each other.

[beckie.c]

DH and I have a similar situation. Our paychecks are basically equal and just go into one big pot, there no distinction between 'his and mine'. Gifts for family/friends come out of the big pot (usually $20 per neice/nephew and then $100-$150 for our parents), then we set a spending limit for gifts for each other based on what we can afford. This year that limit will probably be $250 and I will just pull the cash out so that we each have the cash in hand when we go looking for gifts. This works for us because typically we just do small gifts and stockings for each other. Our "big gifts" tend to be mutually agreed on purchases like a new TV or sound system that we both talk about, save towards and purchase.

I don't think it is a bad idea to have a separate spending allowance for each of you. I think it would be a good idea to define what that allowance should cover and then what your joint account will cover. Then you both can have some guilt-free spending money

[Retiree]

We pool our financial resources. Each week, though, we each take $20 in cash, which we place in our own "stash can". This gives us each about $1,000 per year for discretionary spending.

Gifts for everyone else comes out of our pooled financial resources, after discussing what we should purchase. For each other, though, we use the money in our "stash can". The part that I like best about this approach is that it means that any gifts, through out the year that we purchase for each other can be a surprise.

[Shwa Girl]

We pool our financial resources. Each week, though, we each take $20 in cash, which we place in our own "stash can". This gives us each about $1,000 per year for discretionary spending.

Yup.
His + Hers + Ours.

[anawhatsme]

i was leaning toward the idea of giving ourselves an allowance from the big pot.
might be too late for this christmas though, not many pays left.
we will see.

thanks guys.

[chillys-willy]

Interesting discussion. I have been wondering about doing this too. I never feel like I have any "guilt-free" money and neither does my DH. On the other hand, he is fine with buying his wants out of our cash and I feel like I should save all the time. The his-hers-ours might alleviate this if we have the funds to do it. Will look into it.

[Natalka]

i agree.
but it's easy for me - i control all the money.
i do all budgeting and make all payments.
he is the one that has a hard time because if he wants to buy me a gift, he has to ask me where we stand and what we can afford.
know what i mean?
i just think it's best if we have separate spending allowances and if we see something to buy, we buy it.
if he has it, it's his kind of thing.

not sure i'm explaining this well.

We have been in the same situation. We have our finances joint, and it has always worked very well. When both of us were working, all of our money went into one account, and all bills paid out of that.
Then I became a SAHM, and things just kept on. And, as it turned out, I never was able to return to work.
Things have always been tight financially for us, so we are both really careful with money.

He takes cash out to have for the week at work, and just for the occasional shopping incidental, like picking up milk or bread.

For gifts, he usually just takes out cash. However, after having been married 25 years, now he just leaves the receipt with any other household things - he knows I know what things cost anyway, lol.

Talk things out with him, that's the only way to go.

[jasperandchar]

Here is a link to the frugal chatter thread, we have been discussing budgets and spending $/allowances you might enjoy the thread this particular conversation is #592

http://forum.smartcanucks.ca/392036-...ead-canada-40/

[jasperandchar]

i was leaning toward the idea of giving ourselves an allowance from the big pot.
might be too late for this christmas though, not many pays left.
we will see.

thanks guys.

Firstly it's never too late to start.

You can only do what you can afford to do, keep that in mind and don't stress Christmas is more important than the gifts themselves. We put so much pressure on ourselves and many get in debt for lavish gifts they cannot afford to purchased. So if you plan to implement a spending allowance it's never too late, start next pay or at the beginning or end of the month and start slow and see how your budget can handle the new expenses. Best of luck

[Midnightly]

hubby and i usually talk about a set budget and because i do most the shopping i just go at it within reason (we do talk about family gifts..for example we will buy his father a sweater, his mom the next season of downton abbey..).. if i want to keep the where and how much exactly private i will put it on my credit card then pay it off from the joint account (that way he can see the lump that came off he just won't know it was $70 at home depot, $100 at future shop, $60 at toys R us.....)

[Ciel]

Many good ideas. I like the talking first of gift ideas for recipients and approximate $ value for each then having each spouse handle a sum to cover the gifts that s/he is responsible for getting. Maybe include the purchase of sufficient gift wrappings/bags/cards/tape! so that it's ready when the gifts start coming "home" for the holidays.
@anawhatsme -you should mention if you have any points cards through Shoppers Optimum, PC Plus, etc because if there are enough points in any one program, they can be used to help you save money through redemption or buying specific things in those stores so that actual cash is spent elsewhere for the remaining gifts.

[anawhatsme]

thanks for the tips ciel!
i am enrolled in loyalty programs.
i LOVE them.
and i will be using all of them as much as i can over the holidays.