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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castle View Post
    I truly believe that parents are free to parent however they want to. I'm a libertarian. However, that doesn't mean that I, or anyone else can't give their honest opinion on any given subject.

    The boy is 7. My issue isn't there being an organization that accepts both boys and girls, my issue is that bringing such transformational gender issues into a child's life when they are 7 years old, seems reprehensible to me.

    My son wanted to play with a knife. He isn't old enough to understand or handle that kind of responsibility yet, so I said no. When he's old enough to be able to fully understand and handle that responsibility, I will let him, but I will teach and explain things to him first.
    Thats fine, but you dont know this family so you don't know wether there is parental guidance or not.. theres a difference between an opinion and judging people negatively that you do not know.

    So if one of my sons ends up having gender issues or is homosexual its because of my lack of parental guidance? Cause from your first post thats how it reads and well never agree on that issue.
    Last edited by Sally888; Fri, Oct 28th, 2011 at 09:51 PM.

  2. #32
    Senior Canuck Kalmel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Penguin View Post
    Now, talking about marriage even in the abstract at 8 squicked me out. Even discussing who the "hottest" pop-star was...David Cassidy or Donny Osmond?* wasn't for me at that age. hanging around with boys would have been so much better.

    * it was Alice Cooper BTW.
    Well boys werent nice at that age..they would pull my hair and sqwash my sandwichs. ... one even put a frog in my pant's!

  3. #33
    Sith Lady and Cool Kid Darth Penguin's Avatar
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    and neither were girls if you fell outside the proscribed perimeters..

    and girls were far more b!tchy In my very expensive experience!The gilrls had social expectations behind thier cruelty...

  4. #34
    Senior Canuck Kalmel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Penguin View Post
    and neither were girls if you fell outside the proscribed perimeters..

    and girls were far more b!tchy In my very expensive experience!The gilrls had social expectations behind thier cruelty...
    bit*chy ..humm no! just misundertood!

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by nadiabreckon View Post
    They did do the right thing and accepted the child into the troop, or whatever it's called these days...

    Does this mean girls will now be accepted into Beavers, or Cubs, or any other "boy" clubs around? If boys are allowed into girl activities, I think it's only fair to have the opposite happen...IMHO...
    My son is now 19 and when he was 5, Scouts Canada made the decision that girls would be allowed to join Beavers, Cubs, etc. So....the opposite actually has happened....long ago....

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castle View Post
    I truly believe that parents are free to parent however they want to. I'm a libertarian. However, that doesn't mean that I, or anyone else can't give their honest opinion on any given subject.

    The boy is 7. My issue isn't there being an organization that accepts both boys and girls, my issue is that bringing such transformational gender issues into a child's life when they are 7 years old, seems reprehensible to me.

    My son wanted to play with a knife. He isn't old enough to understand or handle that kind of responsibility yet, so I said no. When he's old enough to be able to fully understand and handle that responsibility, I will let him, but I will teach and explain things to him first.
    I would posit that perhaps its some of the adults who have gender issues. Whether or not the child actually is transgendered (which is an assumption) disallowing his self-expression has its own ramifications. Comparing it to allowing a child to play with a knife is a bit of a stretch. I would also say those of us who have never faced this kind of an issue with our own children should probably be long on compassion and short on advice...

  7. #37
    Canadian Guru Brandy Hunter's Avatar
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    But then it's just 'scouts' once boys are allowed, since it's currently called GIRL scouts. And since there's already a scouts, this one would get canceled or merged..

    If your boy wants to be feminine, fine, I don't care, it's good for him to be in touch with his feminine side, but putting him in girl activities is a tad pushing it, IMHO. and by girl activities I mean 'girl guides' and other solely-girl activities, and there aren't much anymore.. so WHY this one? Why can't you put him in Ballet, or beading, and regular scouts? I just think things should be kept the way they are, why can't he join regular scouts..
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  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by xbbx View Post
    now, we're just one step away from dropping the gender part from the name and just say it's scouts.

    I was in scouts of Canada, i had friends join girl guides.. whats the difference between the two? The only thing I remembered was girl guides did more arts and crafts things while scouts did "masculine" things like buidling a bridge from wood?
    This kind of reminds of this story.

    My dd15 had Mike Gold(the second runner up on Canada's Best Handyman several seasons ago)as her shop teacher. Every student in the glass made a bridge out of wood.

    Each and every bridge made by the boys fell apart as soon as the teacher placed a weight on it but all of the girls' bridges didn't.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally888 View Post
    Thats fine, but you dont know this family so you don't know wether there is parental guidance or not.. theres a difference between an opinion and judging people negatively that you do not know.

    So if one of my sons ends up having gender issues or is homosexual its because of my lack of parental guidance? Cause from your first post thats how it reads and well never agree on that issue.

    My point is just that the boy is 7, and I believe that that is too young an age to be putting this kind of thing on him.

    If my son liked the colour pink, or wanted to play with some dolls, I wouldn't care. Most kids do that at some point, regardless of gender.

    It's just that maybe the kid just likes pink and playing with dolls. Maybe that's it. Maybe tomorrow or next year he will like the colour blue, and playing with army figures.

    There is no picture in this specific article, but there is in others. It is the parents who have grown out the boys hair and styled it like a girls. It is the parents who have bought female clothing and let the child wear them. It's the parents who seem to be leading the charge on all of this. And I don't agree with that honestly.

    Let me put it this way, say you had a young daughter, she was a bit of a tomboy, would you cut her hair short, only buy boy's clothes for her, and politicize the issue by trying to push her into all-boys clubs? I wouldn't, I'd just think my daughter is a bit of a tomboy, whatever. I wouldn't bring all of this gender confusion into it. It's a young kid.

    The daughter would just be a tomboy, that wouldn't make her transgendered, struggling with gender identity issues, etc etc. It would just make her a tomboy, and every tomboy doesn't grow up to be a lesbian, or transgendered, or transexual, or confused, or anything else. They just are a tomboy for a phase sometimes.

    So that is my opinion on this boy as well, maybe the kid likes playing with pink, likes dolls, maybe he's a little bit effeminate. That doesn't make him transgendered, gay or anything else. I've met effeminate guys in the past who are completely straight.

    It just appears to me that these parents took some effeminate behaviour that this boy may have had, and turned it into a gender issue. And I think that's wrong. I think that it's important to support your kids, but I think that at that age, you don't do things to your kids that are so life altering and drastic, even going so far as to change their appearance, and put your kids in the paper, all for what may be a phase in the child's life. They are only 7. Let them grow up and then come to a decision on their own. Until they are old enough to deal with such drastic gender issues, then don't force it on them.

  10. #40
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    Here is an article that gives more information: http://gma.yahoo.com/transgender-bob...143438362.html
    This does appear to be a classic case of a transgender child - one that was not forced into it, but who felt very strongly from a very young age that he was a girl in a boy's body.
    As far as whether or not it's fair to the girls to allow a boy into their group goes, I agree that it will be a little weird for them. But this is not a boy who is going to look like or act like a boy. This is a boy who wants to identify with them as girls. Hopefully things will be handled well by the adults and he will be accepted.

  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castle View Post
    They are only 7. Let them grow up and then come to a decision on their own. Until they are old enough to deal with such drastic gender issues, then don't force it on them.
    I will never agree with you on this issue. I truly believe that a lot of transgender, homosexuals etc were simply "born this way" and there is nothing for them to make a decision about.... Nor is there anything for them to be ashamed about. Im sure his parents haven't decided for him to have gender issues, thats ridiculous.

    I dont believe anythings being "forced" upon this child.
    Last edited by Sally888; Sat, Oct 29th, 2011 at 05:13 PM.

  12. #42
    Senior Canuck Kalmel's Avatar
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    I truly beleive that this child should be able to express himself the way he wants..but the problem i have with that, not at all about the boy but with the fact that it's girl scouts! he may or may not see himself as a boy but guess what..the girls will see exactly that..a 7 years old boy. When i was in the jeannettes, it was because it was only for the girls, i would of never felt comfortable having a boy there..would not have been the same.

  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalmel View Post
    I truly beleive that this child should be able to express himself the way he wants..but the problem i have with that, not at all about the boy but with the fact that it's girl scouts! he may or may not see himself as a boy but guess what..the girls will see exactly that..a 7 years old boy. When i was in the jeannettes, it was because it was only for the girls, i would of never felt comfortable having a boy there..would not have been the same.
    This isn't going to be easy for anyone involved. What I've found as I've worked with special needs kids integrated in regular classrooms is that the more upfront you are and the more comfortable you are yourself, the more likely the other kids will be to come around and accept the child who is different. The worst thing they can do is pretend that he's a girl and not discuss it - especially now that he's been on the news. The other girls will just pick up on something not being right and will feel betrayed when they do find out the truth. The best thing to do is explain things to them on their level, let them ask questions and deal with any discomfort openly.

  14. #44
    Canadian Guru Brandy Hunter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abbasgirl View Post
    This isn't going to be easy for anyone involved. What I've found as I've worked with special needs kids integrated in regular classrooms is that the more upfront you are and the more comfortable you are yourself, the more likely the other kids will be to come around and accept the child who is different. The worst thing they can do is pretend that he's a girl and not discuss it - especially now that he's been on the news. The other girls will just pick up on something not being right and will feel betrayed when they do find out the truth. The best thing to do is explain things to them on their level, let them ask questions and deal with any discomfort openly.
    Makes sense !

    I don't know how to ask, but it's been on my mind since I first read it..

    Does he wear the girl scouts outfit, or does he wear pants.. I'm honestly curious.
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  15. #45
    It's time to win lekate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castle View Post
    My point is just that the boy is 7, and I believe that that is too young an age to be putting this kind of thing on him.

    If my son liked the colour pink, or wanted to play with some dolls, I wouldn't care. Most kids do that at some point, regardless of gender.

    It's just that maybe the kid just likes pink and playing with dolls. Maybe that's it. Maybe tomorrow or next year he will like the colour blue, and playing with army figures.

    There is no picture in this specific article, but there is in others. It is the parents who have grown out the boys hair and styled it like a girls. It is the parents who have bought female clothing and let the child wear them. It's the parents who seem to be leading the charge on all of this. And I don't agree with that honestly.

    Let me put it this way, say you had a young daughter, she was a bit of a tomboy, would you cut her hair short, only buy boy's clothes for her, and politicize the issue by trying to push her into all-boys clubs? I wouldn't, I'd just think my daughter is a bit of a tomboy, whatever. I wouldn't bring all of this gender confusion into it. It's a young kid.

    The daughter would just be a tomboy, that wouldn't make her transgendered, struggling with gender identity issues, etc etc. It would just make her a tomboy, and every tomboy doesn't grow up to be a lesbian, or transgendered, or transexual, or confused, or anything else. They just are a tomboy for a phase sometimes.

    So that is my opinion on this boy as well, maybe the kid likes playing with pink, likes dolls, maybe he's a little bit effeminate. That doesn't make him transgendered, gay or anything else. I've met effeminate guys in the past who are completely straight.

    It just appears to me that these parents took some effeminate behaviour that this boy may have had, and turned it into a gender issue. And I think that's wrong. I think that it's important to support your kids, but I think that at that age, you don't do things to your kids that are so life altering and drastic, even going so far as to change their appearance, and put your kids in the paper, all for what may be a phase in the child's life. They are only 7. Let them grow up and then come to a decision on their own. Until they are old enough to deal with such drastic gender issues, then don't force it on them.
    Have you considered that you're making the assumption that this has "been forced" upon the boy who (in my understanding from your post) may sort of like the colour pink and sort enjoys playing with dolls? There's two sides to a coin and you're clearly stuck on one. Also your analogy with a knife was very off base. It had no bearing whatsoever to your argument.

    To those who don't think it's appropriate because there's the "boy" option, it's not about a regular boy wanting to be in girl scouts and so you must handle the situation in a different light. It may be "uncomfortable" but honestly, kids are FAR more adaptable than adults and he's getting into the group at a relatively young, so I see it as a non-issue.
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