Yesterday was good except coming home part I had a conflict with Martin my key worker, over a suite inspection notice. I said “you have to give to me in person...” he said “no I don’t I can tape it to your door we are allowed to it can be 72hours in advance..” I said “it’s not even on RTA paperwork and it’s not binding and you don’t ever sign it so it’s not proper and you can’t tape it to the door you have to hand it to the tenant. That is what it says in the RTA...” then someone interrupted us to be let upstairs on the elevator. He was over the moon to please of course. So later I found it taped to my door...on not proper paperwork and not signed. It’s on a day next week that’s suppose to be my check in day with Martin...some how I don’t think it’s happening. I am not going to bother going downstairs for our Tuesday check in if the bloody suite inspection is during that time.
Grrrr!!!! What a joke!
I also got a letter in the mail having to do with CPPD I mean this is the way for provincial government to kick me off PWD. I haven’t made any contributions since I was 26, I am now 34. When I worked for the community services and the newspaper it was basically contract and didn’t see any CPP contributions. I was full time when I was 26 working in a long term care home as a cook it was union. That letter has me stressed out. I have an issue with it and have only been on disability for 5 years. And have looked at all avenues of income trust me, this letter just boils my blood.
My appointments went well my psychiatrist didn’t reprimand me and didn’t talk down to me as what I thought she was going to do. Usually she looks put together but her hair was all over the place and she was wearing jeans. This was unusual and made me feel like if she didn’t care about appearance but did about me complimenting me on my clothes like the color of my hoody that was green. She told me to smile and I didn’t because really why should I have to. I felt like crap and didn’t want to put a fake smile on to appease someone especially my psychiatrist.
I just left a message with my psych nurse about yesterday and the so called meeting with a causal because Martin worked the day time. I need to desperately talk to her things keep going bang in my life living in this supportive housing block. How is it supportive? I said I was depressed last Sunday and Martin was like “well lazy you, we can make a schedule for cleaning if you like?” I said I was depressed not lazy people who are depressed aren’t lazy they are: no motivation, no feeling right, deep dark thoughts, low mood, guilt and ashamed by everything but don’t care either. Everything when one is depressed is harder to do and I also suffer from Anxiety so I am 9 times out of 10 suffering with anxiety attacks/panic attacks and gut issues such as acid reflux.
My psych nurse just called me and said she would be calling me around 2:30pm because her meeting ran long and she has to give an injection. I guess it’s the only time she is free.
I guess I will get dressed and walk to the pharmacy to pick up my blister pack of meds. Nothing else to do i could do my laundry, but I am not up to it. I should have done it at 7:04am when the laundry room opened up. I don’t find anything about doing something like that in the morning I didn’t exactly get much sleep and I am excited for the new blister pack because she raised my trazodone to 150mg from 100mg because i do not get enough sleep at all. She, my psychiatrist didn’t exactly tell me when she wants to see me next.
Anyways I am going to get moving laters!!
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