How much money should you spend on a first date?

[Brad]

What is a reasonable amount of money to spend on a first date? Also is the guy cheap if he doesn't pay for the girl?

[Shwa Girl]

What is a reasonable amount of money to spend on a first date?

Depends on a lot of things.
Who your date is; is there a long term plan in the works; how much you make; where you are going on the date;how much you want to spend?

Also is the guy cheap if he doesn't pay for the girl?
A man and a woman can decide if they are Going Dutch or if the gentleman will pay. In 2012, sometimes the woman can pay too.

Hope you have a good time.

[i_forget]

Depends on the girl you are taking out and who asks IMO. If the guy asks the girl, he should foot the bill. If the girls asks out the guy, she should pay. Some women like to pay their own way, so if she says she will pay her own, let her.

I do not think that it matters how much money you spend on a date really, I have been on some really great dates which were cheap (picnic in the park with a nice bottle of wine is inexpensive and if you have good conversation can be great).....I have also been on some very expensive ones (which were awkward and horrible). As long as the experience represents who you are as a person, that is what should matter.

[tjthemanto]

What is a reasonable amount of money to spend on a first date? Also is the guy cheap if he doesn't pay for the girl?

Atleast the first date , I would expect the guy to pay , since usually its the guy who will ask the girl out.

After the first date , I would expect a split.

Only go to a place you can really afford , no need to go to a fancy place out of your budget.

Its better to go to a simple affordable place on your first date and pay the entire bill yourself , then to go to a fancy place you can't afford on your first date and expect a split

[carmanelectric]

How much to spend....
Well that depends, what is the first date for? I mean how well do you know this girl? Is she someone you known for a while who has an idea of your spending habits? Or is she someone you hardly know? Is the date a special treat? or is it a getting to know you event (which should reasonably reflect your spending)? I think if you are clever you can even bypass this concern. If you know a restaurant that has awesome food but a an inexpensive price tag, you will come across as very very savvy.

Who should pay.....
As a general rule I think the man should be prepared to pay but also be prepared to go dutch. I think it is a good sign that things are going well if she lets you pay. If a girl wants to go dutch, generally it's a sign she wants to buy herself out of any "quid pro quo" that might be insinuated by agreeing to have dinner with you. Just watch for her cues. If she wants to pay the whole thing...well that's a really really good or a really really bad sign. She will likely be willing to explain if she is willing to make such a bold statement.

Beyond the first date...
I think a natural rhythm of cost splitting as things progress in the romance. If she is a girl who expecting you to foot the bill every time, reducing the frequency or making it coffees instead of dinners will send a message, that can open up a dialogue or even intuitively change the 'who pays' dynamic. If this becomes a point of contention.....well then you have to do some soul searching about whether you have the capacity to afford such a high maintenance girl. If it goes beyond just dating, then I seriously suggest that you have a frank discussion about division of financial responsibilities.

[tobiwobi]

great response carmanelectric!

Brad good luck on your date

[Minou]

I believe in fairness in sharing costs. It's nice if the guy is willing to pay for the first date, and honestly, I think something simple is better than trying to impress by being fancy. If you're being fancier than you're accustomed to, you're only going to feel more awkward on that first date. I would always try to pay at least my share overall when it came to dating.

I had a boyfriend for several months in 2001 who seemed to be quite comfortable with expecting me to pay for everything when we were out... and, at the time, his annual salary was about $10,000 higher than mine! He also told me that when he eventually married, he'd be living according to what his wife made. So, if she had a minimum wage job and could only afford a certain amount toward living expenses, he would only match that amount -- not pay more. The rest of his salary would be for his needs only. I'm not a golddigger, and I really believe that I earn a higher salary than he does by now, but his general attitude toward money (and his lack of respect for mine) was a real turnoff.

The hilarious thing is, he moved into a house about five houses away from us last year. I don't think he's noticed that yet.

My husband was very accustomed to paying for dates when we met. While he felt a little guilty when I would treat him half the time, he also felt respected and appreciated. He had never had a date treat him before. I think I would have felt uncomfortable if a guy was starting out with fancy dinners. I always loved coffee dates or going for a walk dates.

[roseofblack25]

I believe in fairness in sharing costs. It's nice if the guy is willing to pay for the first date, and honestly, I think something simple is better than trying to impress by being fancy. If you're being fancier than you're accustomed to, you're only going to feel more awkward on that first date. I would always try to pay at least my share overall when it came to dating.

I had a boyfriend for several months in 2001 who seemed to be quite comfortable with expecting me to pay for everything when we were out... and, at the time, his annual salary was about $10,000 higher than mine! He also told me that when he eventually married, he'd be living according to what his wife made. So, if she had a minimum wage job and could only afford a certain amount toward living expenses, he would only match that amount -- not pay more. The rest of his salary would be for his needs only. I'm not a golddigger, and I really believe that I earn a higher salary than he does by now, but his general attitude toward money (and his lack of respect for mine) was a real turnoff.

The hilarious thing is, he moved into a house about five houses away from us last year. I don't think he's noticed that yet.

My husband was very accustomed to paying for dates when we met. While he felt a little guilty when I would treat him half the time, he also felt respected and appreciated. He had never had a date treat him before. I think I would have felt uncomfortable if a guy was starting out with fancy dinners. I always loved coffee dates or going for a walk dates.

Wow that boyfriend was a real a$$...so if you were a housewife raising his kids and not generating an income would he not provide anything for the family? His logic is a huge fail and I do hope he is still single and stays that way for a very long time!

My last date was a totally cheap one as in we didn't go out for dinner or anything that cost money (he took me to a local festival that was free) and it was the worst date on the planet not because he didn't spend money, or I didn't spend money but because he was a jerk. He nit picked my appearance and basically told me how I should dress/do my hair etc if I wanted to continue dating him (yeah right see ya buddy) so I felt good knowing that no money was spent on that date since he was a total d!ck and I would have felt like I was taking advantage of him if I let him pay for both of us since that would imply I was interested in seeing more of him.

I feel like if the guy invites me and chooses the location he should pay since it was all his decision and he has probably already factored in the cost of the location and if he is comfortable with the amount. If we mutually discussed and agreed upon a place we should split or I should at least offer to pay my half since we have both discussed it and settled on a place that is hopefully affordable for both of us, and if I invited him and we went somewhere that I suggested then it should be up to me to pay for everything.

[Brad]

So... nothing too expensive otherwise she might feel pressured to reciprocate in ways she'd rather not... But nothing too cheap either, don't wanna be seen as a cheapskate.

[roseofblack25]

So... nothing too expensive otherwise she might feel pressured to reciprocate in ways she'd rather not... But nothing too cheap either, don't wanna be seen as a cheapskate.

It would just make me feel guilty like I was leading a guy on to believe that there would be more dates and maybe more eventually coming out of the first date if I let them pay my way for everything and it wasn't going well no matter what the price...

[tobiwobi]

It would just make me feel guilty like I was leading a guy on to believe that there would be more dates and maybe more eventually coming out of the first date if I let them pay my way for everything and it wasn't going well no matter what the price...

Sometimes they deserve to pay though just to learn a lesson, like that guy who told you what you should look like if you wanna continue to date him. Who does that. Reminded me of the time I met this guy and we went out to dinner at an upscale restaurant, and I was like wow he must be really interested, and then he blurts out he is not from around here, and he is in town for a month, and he is not looking for anything serious, etc. So I ordered a few things just to make him pay up while asking him where he got the idea that I am interested in being his entertainment while he's in town, and he was amused I was giving him a hard time and thought things are going well when I let him pick up the huge tab, but then I was like see ya, have fun, and can't say I felt guilty. If he told me all these things ahead of time and I still agreed to have dinner with him, I would have felt guilty. I think he deserved it.

[sarah_cio]

I think if you ask someone out and choose the date, etc then you should be prepared to pay...if you can't afford it then don't go out!

[soulbadguy]

The reality is that it doesn't really matter, by the time you (or her or booth of you) are paying the bills, her opinion of you is already formed... and paying or spliting wont change much.

What is a reasonable amount of money to spend on a first date?

The usual guideline is to go somewhere you usually go.So spend what you normally spend when you dine with your friends.

Also is the guy cheap if he doesn't pay for the girl?

Yes/No depends on the girl,her social status etc... .But a more interresting question is : can a cheap guy get the girl ? and that's a definite yes

[brunt]

If you ask her out, you should pay. If you agree to keep going out, then you can consider splitting.

A date is intended to get a feeling for how compatible the two of you might be. It's a very bad time to be acting in a manner that is not really you in order to try to impress her. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a date that consists simply of coffee in a coffee shop, or hot dogs and a walk through the park if that's more your style. It certainly is mine.

[vesper]

My friend! You want to be funny, spent almost nothing on first date, wait until maybe 3rd date. there are a million free things to do, including:

- taking her to 'Pick Your Part' to dismantle cars together. (get her a good hood ornament)
- Feeding stray cats
- Watching the stars (if you don't live in the city)
- sneak into something you have to pay for (like museum, sports)
- Hanging around the rail yards, seeking a chance to catch a fun lift somewhere.
- Sneaking into abandoned buildings
- Dancing behind your local Honky Tonk

But the most important advice I can give you is, don't take dating advice from me.