Seriously, kids?!

[littlenom]

Only with toddlers does this ever happen:

1) I smell poop every morning when I eat breakfast
2) Pants and/or underwear are randomly tossed in my face
3) I make dinner while I listen to some form of crying/whining 80% of the time
4) My ottoman cushions were attacked by a pointy meat thermometer while my back was turned long enough to make a coffee (Oh, I know what you're thinking...how did they get the meat thermometer? By pulling up a stool, of course, and grabbing it from behind the crockpot (which was off) on the counter).
5) I have to pull a human being out of the fridge every time it is opened before I can close it again
6) I hear requests for "crack" loudly proclaimed in the grocery store when we go by the crackers
7) My cat needs to wear a bubble suit to be safe when she walks by
8) I must beware of where every writing utensil is in the house at any given time
9) There is never a good time to talk on the phone and hope for quiet in the background
10) There is no spot good enough to hide candy unless it's on your roof
11) I live every day in fear the cat litter will become a sandbox when I'm occupied for a minute or two (it's in the basement...but with these two anything is possible!)
12) Quiet is the worst possible thing that can happen in my day while they are awake
13) No one cares what I'm doing until I'm on a computer
14) Little bladders are.....little. And need to be emptied often.
15) One of life's greatest mysteries is potty training.
16) I may not be able to list one major thing I accomplished at the end of every day, but I always feel like I spent the day at the circus. (As the monkey trainer)

but I also love this:
1) My crappy dancing gets good laughs
2) I get free smiles every day
3) I hear the best stories ever
4) My food is always "good"
5) I know all the best games to play
6) Snuggles and cuddles are always a guarantee
7) Someone cares what I do
8) I have awesome stories to tell
9) Every day presents opportunities to grow and become a better version of myself
10) I no longer judge other parents haha
11) I now understand the value in a trip to the washroom in solitude.

Sometimes I want to pull my hair out because I get so frustrated, but the good times always make you forget the bad. I've had an eventful morning and just wanted to post my thoughts I feel like since I we had kids, I've realized I knew absolutely nothing about parenting (even though I thought I had it all figured out before kids). It's such a learning experience and is both the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done. So to every parent who reads this, I want you to know, I understand. In some small way, we all understand eachother.

[angel_2011]

great post - it gave me a good chuckle cuz i can totally relate to some of ur pointers.

[alicia]

I am not a parent yet but I have been around enough children to laugh at a lot of these

[gracesmommy]

12) Quiet is the worst possible thing that can happen in my day while they are awake <- lol, i remember one night making dinner the kids were really loud (as usual) and then it suddently got quiet...i said to my husband, that can't be good. sure enough my oldest daugheter was saran wrapping her sisters arms and legs. *sigh* what would we do without them

[littlenom]

I am not a parent yet but I have been around enough children to laugh at a lot of these

Haha it's such a trip, seriously!

[littlenom]

12) Quiet is the worst possible thing that can happen in my day while they are awake <- lol, i remember one night making dinner the kids were really loud (as usual) and then it suddently got quiet...i said to my husband, that can't be good. sure enough my oldest daugheter was saran wrapping her sisters arms and legs. *sigh* what would we do without them

Hahaha that made me LOL!! It's always funny later but at the time you want to pull your hair out haha!

[Jina]

LOL soooo true!
I can totally relate. My 2yr old son wants to speak on the phone everytime it rings. When some annoying marketing guy is calling for the xth time looking for Mr K, I pass him to little Mr K who is very willing to talk to him

Ah the fridge, yup, he has to look into it everytime it's open. Will stand there looking for something. Thought he wanted a yoghurt, but now suddenly wants the juice.

[bargain_hunter_lola]

Thanks for the laugh.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who laughed my butt off at a lot of these! They are sooooo true!

[Craiger]

Totally hilarious and all of them are so true...

[littlenom]

LOL soooo true!
I can totally relate. My 2yr old son wants to speak on the phone everytime it rings. When some annoying marketing guy is calling for the xth time looking for Mr K, I pass him to little Mr K who is very willing to talk to him

Ah the fridge, yup, he has to look into it everytime it's open. Will stand there looking for something. Thought he wanted a yoghurt, but now suddenly wants the juice.

My youngest is so fast getting into the fridge, it's like his superpower. I'm not sure what his fascination is but he is totally addicted to fridge-gazing!

[littlenom]

Thanks for the laugh.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who laughed my butt off at a lot of these! They are sooooo true!

It makes me feel less crazy to know other people suffer the same as I do hahaha

[Springbreeze]

Haha love this thread. When my daughter was 10 months old, (she is 14 months now) I sat her on the bed for just a min. so that I could finish getting ready to go for our walk. SHe couldn't crawl or anything and was in the middle of the bed. Anyway my phone rings, at first I wasn't going to answer it as it came up unkown caller, thought it was a telemarketer, but boy am I glad I did. It was 9-1-1!!! My 10 month old managed to wriggle across the bed get my cell phone and unlock it and dial 9-1-1. Boy was I embarrassed thank goodness the lady who took the call was very nice about it. Cell phone always out of reach now but when it rings she will always pipe up with a huge hello lol.

[littlenom]

Haha love this thread. When my daughter was 10 months old, (she is 14 months now) I sat her on the bed for just a min. so that I could finish getting ready to go for our walk. SHe couldn't crawl or anything and was in the middle of the bed. Anyway my phone rings, at first I wasn't going to answer it as it came up unkown caller, thought it was a telemarketer, but boy am I glad I did. It was 9-1-1!!! My 10 month old managed to wriggle across the bed get my cell phone and unlock it and dial 9-1-1. Boy was I embarrassed thank goodness the lady who took the call was very nice about it. Cell phone always out of reach now but when it rings she will always pipe up with a huge hello lol.

Haha oh the phone....I gave my iphone to my son to play with in the grocery store one day while I was checking out to keep him quiet....it takes me forever to check out because of my price-matching and coupons....and I thought I was safe because it was locked. *So dumb!* I forgot about the emergency call thing on the lock screen, and when I checked on him, I'm pretty sure he had called India or something! The lock screen had all Arabic lettering on it (or Russian or something) and I was like...ohhhh nooooooooo....thank God he hadn't actually gotten through to anywhere. I'm still waiting for the 911 call. I'm sure it's coming. It has to be, I'm not that lucky that it won't happen to me.

[glowworm2k]

Haha oh the phone....I gave my iphone to my son to play with in the grocery store one day while I was checking out to keep him quiet....it takes me forever to check out because of my price-matching and coupons....and I thought I was safe because it was locked. *So dumb!* I forgot about the emergency call thing on the lock screen, and when I checked on him, I'm pretty sure he had called India or something! The lock screen had all Arabic lettering on it (or Russian or something) and I was like...ohhhh nooooooooo....thank God he hadn't actually gotten through to anywhere. I'm still waiting for the 911 call. I'm sure it's coming. It has to be, I'm not that lucky that it won't happen to me.

I don't think my Mom realized how lucky she was that 9-1-1 didn't exist in the early 1980s!

As for myself, I can identify with many things on this list from the time I've spent babysitting and around my friends' kids, although I notice that having someone else's snot wiped on your own shirt or them using your shirt as a hankie is not on the list. This has happened to me more times than I can count, and I haven't even made it through my first pregnancy!

Also this one:

3) I make dinner while I listen to some form of crying/whining 80% of the time

This reminds me of working at the homeless shelter. Thank goodness the kitchen door could lock because otherwise it was a constant (55 women lived there) stream of "What'cha cookin'?" "I'm hungry now!" "What's for a snack?" "I want to go to my storage locker!" "Won't you hurry up!" etc. etc. etc. A lot of the women who worked there had kids and said cooking at home and the shelter were about the same level of insanity most days

[littlenom]

I don't think my Mom realized how lucky she was that 9-1-1 didn't exist in the early 1980s!

As for myself, I can identify with many things on this list from the time I've spent babysitting and around my friends' kids, although I notice that having someone else's snot wiped on your own shirt or them using your shirt as a hankie is not on the list. This has happened to me more times than I can count, and I haven't even made it through my first pregnancy!

Oh my gosh, I wish those two would restrict their booger wiping to only my shirt!! Nothing on my body is ever off limits: pants, socks, my slippers, my shirts, my hair, my bare skin....who cares what it is, as long as it lifts the boogies off their body!? The best part is, it always happens just before we go out of the house so I get to always look dirty in public. I'm so lucky!

There's so many things I've thought of since the original post that I could add...the list could go on for centuries hahaha! It was a quick 5-minute list of everything that came to mind immediately...but oh, the possibilities!