Loss of a Parent

[Zonny]

I'm not even sure if I wrote about this before, but a year ago March, my mother fell and broke her hip. She was living with us, putting on a pair of pants when she lost her balance and fell on the hardwood floor. She was mostly a healthy person at that point.

Before this happened she was a significant part of our household. She went out on the bus every day shopping, had supper ready for us when we got home (with my instructions about what we're having and what to cook and how, but was more than capable of cooking). She'd look after our six year old DS if we went out in the evening to the gym, etc. We had it made, but didn't appreciate it as much as we should have.

After the fall and resulting surgery, she degraded mentally in a big way, could not be trusted to be by herself and remember to not get out of her wheelchair unassisted, so she didn't get sufficient physical therapy. She was in hospital for seven months before she got a nursing home bed (which contributed to her mental state, and makes me SO mad!). Knowing what i know now, I think that while it would have been unpleasant, I would have arranged for her to have a local anesthetic for her surgery instead of putting her all the way under to fix her hip.

I want for you all to know, anesthetic does bad things to seniors. I first saw it with my Dad when he got his pacemaker. Ask for a local, to not have your parent put under completely.

Seven months after her admission to the nursing home, I think I'm seeing signs that the end is eminent. With my Dad I didn't know enough to see that refusing food/drink was a bad sign. For Mom, she's not outright refusing, but is not eating/drinking as she normally does. I'm feeling in my gut, I'm getting a call with bad news soon. I must say, waiting for bad news SUCKS. I'm so on edge, my cell is a hot potato, I don't WANT the effing thing to ring. But soon, I know that it will.

This all happened quickly - from functioning senior living with her daughter's family to being in a nursing home unable to walk and completely dependent on others to look after herself, took about 14 months. Don't let it happen to your parent.

[Patty Smyth]

Sorry to hear this Zonny. My mom went downhill even faster after she broke her hip 6 years ago. Her dementia progressed quicker. Anesthetic does do terrible things. My mom has had over a dozen operations in her lifetime and I blame a lot of her problems on it. My dad had a general in January also. I asked if they could do a local but it was abdominal surgery , kind of complicated so it was a no. He is NOT THE SAME mentally. He has anxiety, paranoia, sleeplessness. His memory has been affected also.

Sadly I cannot leave them alone anymore. I at least had my dad who was competent before but now he is afraid also. If I do go out I ask my kids to watch out for them, we all live together. I am afraid we won't be going very far for our vacation in 2 weeks.

It's very sad. I don't think our system yet knows how to car for people who are living to these ripe old ages. We had better do something fast though because Boomers will be a HUGE drag on the system in about 10 years.

Waiting for bad news sucks. I wake up every morning and hope that I hear them rustling around in their room. One day I know it's coming when I won't.

Stay strong Zonny.

[Zonny]

Patty, I think that you and I have shared a boat for last while. I lost my Dad nearly three years ago, too young at 72. Mom lived with us for a couple years before her fall.

What you say about surgery is TOTALLY true! I have now had two parents affected by this. Yes, I believe the dementia might have come anyhow, but the anesthesia pushed it out there more quickly IMO.

I too think that our country is in big trouble as far as long term care. I thought that Nova Scotia was in worse shape than most other places in Canada, but the nursing home folks assure me that NS is in BETTER shape than most other provinces. When my Mom had to wait over six months in hospital for a nursing home spot, this is GOOD compared to the rest of the country? Wow, that's just sad. I really blame the long stay in the hospital for her mental decline - she had care, but not the RIGHT kind of care. Hundreds of people are taking up hospital beds as they wait for nursing home beds. I remember one period where they were delaying surgeries because there were no beds, and potential nursing home patients were being given higher priority in the city to free up the beds.

Once our baby boomers head into long term care, seniors are screwed.

One of the things that my mother did (as well as my in-laws), they planned and paid for their own funerals. I'm waiting for bad news, but at least I don't need to decide on funeral arrangements - it's already done! This is wonderful, if anything can be wonderful in these situations. My FIL passed away about three years ago, they had everything already planned, all we had to do was show up. We have only one child, we will do this too for him.

[Patty Smyth]

Gosh 72 is young My dad turns 89 on Thursday and my mom is 88. I new a week after my dads operation he had changed. It was actually the first time he had a general. Imagine that .

[i_forget]

Wow.

I cannot imagine what you are going through because I have never gone through these pains, however they are coming soon as my Grandmother is getting up there.
I remember her sister a few years ago suffered a broken hip, and she was put into a home after and then shortly after passed.
I never thought that it could have been from the anesthesia. Now I know.

Thank you for sharing....both of you.

Thoughts and prayers.

[MrsSunshine]

wow, what timing on this.. zonny i'm so sorry hun, we went through this with my FIL, in 3 short months. home to nursing home. wouldn't wish the experience on my worst enemy, however it certainly woke me up to the realization that life is too short not to enjoy the time with the loved ones. my dad is not well. he will be going have to hopefully minor surgery soon. im going to be talking to my mom for sure about his anesthetic choices as well. watching one was enough.
I really hope and pray zonny that your time with her is blessed with beautiful memories and that her time left is peaceful.

[Dans]

Total agree with you, both parents got dementia after surgery .

[Patty Smyth]

Here it is

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/261319.php

Elderly patients who are exposed to general anesthesia have a 35% higher risk of developing dementia, researchers from INSERM and University of Bordeaux, France, reported at Euroanaesthesia, the annual congress of the European Society of Anaesthesiology (ESA).

Dr Francois Sztark and team explained that POCD (post-operative cognitive dysfunction), a common complication of major surgery, could be linked to dementiaseveral years after the procedure.

Dr. Sztark said that experts believe there may be an association between POCD and subsequent dementia due to a common pathological mechanism through the amyloid β peptide. According to a number of studies,some anesthetics might trigger inflammation of neural tissues leading to POCD, as well as Alzheimer's disease precursors, including neurofibrillary tangles and β-amyloid plaques. However, nobody was certain whether POCD might be a precursor to dementia.

Sztark and team analyzed dementia risk associated with anesthesia. They focused on patients aged 65+ years. The researchers looked at data from the Three-City study, which was designed to assess dementia and cognitive decline risk due to vascular risk factors. The study included data on 9,294 community-dwelling French seniors in Montpellier, Dijon and Bordeaux (between 1999 and 2001).

The seniors were interviewed at the start of the study, and then again 2, 4, 7 and 10 years later. Each assessment included a thorough cognitive evaluation with systematic screening for dementia. From the second follow up, 7,008 participants (without dementia) were asked each time whether they had a history of anesthesia - including general anesthesia or local/locoregional anesthesia since the previous follow up. The researchers adjusted the data to factor in possible confounders, such as comorbidities and socioeconomic status.

Sixty-two percent of the participants were female and their average age was 75 years.

Below are some highlighted data from the study:

• At the 2-year follow up 2,309 (33%) of participants had reported an anesthesia during the previous two years, 1,333 (19%) had general anesthesia (GA) and 948 (14%) had local/locoregional anesthesia (LRA)
  
• Over the following 8 year period, 9% (632) of the participants developed dementia, 284 of them with probable Alzheimer's disease (AD) and 120 with non-Alzheimer's dementia
  
• 37% of the participants with dementia had received anesthesia compared to 32% of the others
  
• 22% of the dementia patients reported a GA versus 19% of those without dementia
  
• After accounting for possible confounders, those with at least one GA had a 35% higher risk of developing dementia compared to the participants with recent (8-year) history of anesthesia

The researchers concluded:

"These results are in favour of an increased risk for dementia several years after general anaesthesia. Recognition of POCD is essential in the perioperative management of elderly patients. A long-term follow-up of these patients should be planned."

Anesthesia exposure has not only been found to affect the brains of older people. Scientists from the Mayo Clinic reported in Mayo Clinic Proceedings (Feb 2013 issue) that children exposed to anesthesia many times have a higher risk of developing ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder).

Written by Christian Nordqvist
Copyright: Medical News Today

[Patty Smyth]

Funny how the title of the thread is Loss of a Parent but that can mean many things, dementia is the loss also. My mom was lost to this almost 15 years ago now.

She suffered a heart attack in 1988, then bypass in 1993 where we saw a huge difference after her operation. I could never get the doctors to admit it but I saw on her EEG that she had suffered some "event" I am sure it was a stroke while under. After her 1996 operation for breast cancer that was it, rapid deterioration. Almost immediate loss of short term memory.

[DaveP]

Thank you for your post Zonny. Before this I had no idea there was a link between anesthesia and dementia.

[vesper]

I had no idea about any of this! I am so sorry to everyone who has had to experience a parent endure this.

I just got home from visiting my mother, whom I just learned Friday afternoon had been keeping her breast cancer a secret from us. Only now, have I even started to think about things like this. I feel so bad for all y'all!

I cannot imagine my Mother anyway, than the nutty eccentric she is now!

[Natalka]

Zonny, so sorry to hear of this, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.

Hoping you can spend as much time as possible with her.

I know how awful it is dreading the phonecall - when my mom had gotten ill at 69, she only had six weeks before she passed away.

[Crochetlady]

Sending warm thoughts and hugs to you, Zonny and Patty. My mom didn`t have surgery but multiple strokes. She entered a retirement residence at 80...had her first stroke about a year later. With every stroke after that we could see her dementia get worse til the last few years of her life I don`t think she even realized I was there when I went to visit her. Even thogh we grieved her passing at 91 it was also a relief to know she wasn`t suffering anymore.

[Zonny]

Thank everyone for your kind thoughts. She has been on 'thickened liquids' for the last bit (which apparently make it less likely you'll choke on fluids). Yesterday she only had a half of one, today she is refusing altogether. So without taking in anything, I don't think that it will be long. The waiting is killing me though. I'm at work, because to be anywhere else would just leave my mind too free to think about things, distraction is all I can handle at the moment.

[Zonny]

Thankfully it wasn't a long, drawn out affair. She passed away this morning.