any advice for a biting baby?

[D-Roc]

Well, I guess according to you we're the worst parents in the world...Hmmm...

I never said anything of the sort.


You can call it tacky or whatever else comes to mind. I don't care. I know that responding kind to a child is not the way for them to learn in the long run.
Now I get the reasoning behind the "flick" to get his attention, but ask yourself this. Why can't you get his attention with just the sound of your voice? Once you speak the kid you should be getting his full attention. If he is distracted by his sibling or toys or whatever, then remove him from the situation and then you will have his attention.

[nadiabreckon]

Changed my mind. LOL I had written something else but I have to agree with Momofkali. One bite and they never did it again.

Parenting your children is no ones business but your own and if you feel a slap on the hand or a flick is good enough to distract them then thats what works for you. Before children are old enough to communicate verbally they do so physically. It's what they know. Biting at 1 year old though requires a different approach than a 5 year old biting. They are obviously doing it for different reasons and have very different levels of communication skills.

[lady_arianna]

Why can't you get his attention with just the sound of your voice? Once you speak the kid you should be getting his full attention. If he is distracted by his sibling or toys or whatever, then remove him from the situation and then you will have his attention.

have you ever been around a one year old? or even a child for that matter selective hearing... even after removing from a situation doesn't mean you have the childs full attention... and the phrase Once you speak the kid you should be getting his full attention made me think boot camp army style... not gonna happen with a 1 year old, unless u blanket train using the hitting

op when my son was around 1 i started doing daycare for one of my friends...her daughter was a month younger... and started to bite after a month or 2 of me watching her, and not just bruising, many times it resulted in broken skin/ blood... i tried removing her from the situation, tapping her hand (like the same kinda tap that you do to a keyboard, unless ur an angry typer ) i tried giving them each alone time, tried to do things with her more, my guy was an easy going dude, who liked playing and figuring things out for himself (still does), where as the lil girl wanted someone there constantly.... she didn't know how to play on her own, and when my lil dude ignored her, she bit... until one day i was playing with her, and saw my lil dude making his way to something he wasn't allowed (he was walking at 10 months) and i turned my back for a second and she grabbed an arm (not i guess realizing it was her own) and bit it hard... she didn't bite again while i was watching her...

as for my son, when he bit me while nursing the loud ow didn't work, nor did re-latching, or anything else that was suggested, until i talked to my mom, bleeding nips and all, and asked what to do... she said flick him, not out of anger, and not hard, when i did it, it was the last time he bit me while nursing...

[D-Roc]

have you ever been around a one year old? or even a child for that matter selective hearing... even after removing from a situation doesn't mean you have the childs full attention... and the phrase Once you speak the kid you should be getting his full attention made me think boot camp army style... not gonna happen with a 1 year old, unless u blanket train using the hitting

Yes I have. I have a child so I have been through it. Removing a child from the situation and talking to him/her directly (regardless of selective hearing as every kid has that) will work. The key is being consistant and following through with the consequences as it doesn't always stop with the first talking/consequence. It has nothing to do with "boot camp army style" at all.

Contrary to belief, 1 year olds can communicate without being physical and as a parent, you can communicate with a 1 year old in a way they do understand without resorting to being physical. Children communicate verbally right from the start (crying) so to say they communicate physically first is false. They lash out physically when they are frustrated. Even at 1 year old, they can be taught not to be physical when they are not being understood. At 1 they should be talking to some degree unless their is a learning disability factored in.


Maybe my daughter had an advantage as we taught her to sign (not baby sign. ASL) and that way she had an effective way of communicating when talking was not possible.


Even to this day she gets frustrated, but mostly because she expects others to respond a certain way (not being rude and to compromise as this is what we have taught her) when she uses her words. When they do not she gets very frustrate and even a bit confused. She has been caught a few times, in frustration, rasing her hand to hit and even hit once or twice. She is appropriately punished and talked to. She has learned to walk away if she gets frustrated and like any other kid she crys. But the main thing is she has learned to communicate her frustration in other ways. By writting us notes on how she feels when she is mad with us or just simply going to her room and crying it out. By no means is she perfect and she still at times lashes out in frustration, but we deal with those as they come.

[itsjustmebub]

Changed my mind. LOL I had written something else but I have to agree with Momofkali. One bite and they never did it again.

Parenting your children is no ones business but your own and if you feel a slap on the hand or a flick is good enough to distract them then thats what works for you. Before children are old enough to communicate verbally they do so physically. It's what they know. Biting at 1 year old though requires a different approach than a 5 year old biting. They are obviously doing it for different reasons and have very different levels of communication skills.

[danielzmom]

[chrischutley]

My sister had twin boys who are 18 months...she too just picks the biter up and firmly says "no biting! that's a no-no!" and puts him in his little chair...it seems to be working.

same. totally agree.

[D-Roc]

My sister had twin boys who are 18 months...she too just picks the biter up and firmly says "no biting! that's a no-no!" and puts him in his little chair...it seems to be working.

same. totally agree.

[MercyEhm]

Ok maybe I am old school and please don't insult my way of parenting.

But....

We would bite them back. Not hard, no real marks, no bruising no breaking skin but they get the idea real fast when it is like a pinch that it is painful and they dont' want that.

At that age cause and effect must be immediate.

Take my opinion or leave it but it has worked for us.

I agree.... Kids test their boundaries yes. parents need to show them where those boundaries are. Smaller they are, the more they learn by 'imitating'. If he bites you bite him back doesn't mean make the child bleed to death... it simply means SHOW him what he's doing to others so he "gets" it.

Little smacks on the hand doesn't turn them into serial killers nor will it make a child grow up to perform another stellar Columbine incident. It offends them and they come to understand. It's no worse than having someone in your face yelling NO! really loudly when you don't know what NO means.

No one is trying to tell you how to parent your child (or I hope they don't) and don't pay attention to ANYONE who tells you what you're doing is wrong. You know your child and you know what will work/not work based on what you've tried/not tried.

Biting is a problem, it's not a phase and I'm sure you've figured that out. When a little one bites it's not pleasant and what happens is they get a sort of gratification from getting a spontaneous reaction. They don't understand that it might hurt the 'bitee' but they do understand that if they bite, something happens. It's all part of the aping learning process.

Do what you will with the info provided to you. Don't let ANYONE make you feel like a bad mom if you tap, nibble, scold your child. The fact that you care enough to seek help in a public forum SHOULD show everyone you LOVE your child.

My nephew was a biter and I tried EVERYTHING with the ruthless little man LOL. he's a headstrong lil man in training and nothing conventional worked. When I finally had had enough I dipped my finger in vinegar and let him bite me. Believe you me he never bit me again. My only regret is not having that on video because the look on his face was PRICELESS!

If I've offended anyone with this post it was not my intention.

[MercyEhm]

Just because the older generation did it does not mean it should be ok to continue. Tapping the hand, etc only sends the message that hitting (a mild form but hitting none the less) is ok and it does not solve the core issue behind the behaviour. There are always alternate and better ways to parenting and punishment to help a child at any age understand why the behaviour is wrong and what behaviour is correct.



While I admit that once out of frustration I did this. I regretted it right away and it showed, when frustrated, how a parent can resort to physical violence. I felt sick to my stomach. I had to think how I came to that point and what I failed at to make me resort to such poor way of parenting. I swore I would never resort to such a thing again as it is wrong in so many ways.

I think you're a little hard on yourself. Perhaps your high expectations of yourself are what's causing you to be so harsh with others' way of parenting?

Just a thought...

[itsjustmebub]

I agree.... Kids test their boundaries yes. parents need to show them where those boundaries are. Smaller they are, the more they learn by 'imitating'. If he bites you bite him back doesn't mean make the child bleed to death... it simply means SHOW him what he's doing to others so he "gets" it.

Little smacks on the hand doesn't turn them into serial killers nor will it make a child grow up to perform another stellar Columbine incident. It offends them and they come to understand. It's no worse than having someone in your face yelling NO! really loudly when you don't know what NO means.

No one is trying to tell you how to parent your child (or I hope they don't) and don't pay attention to ANYONE who tells you what you're doing is wrong. You know your child and you know what will work/not work based on what you've tried/not tried.

Biting is a problem, it's not a phase and I'm sure you've figured that out. When a little one bites it's not pleasant and what happens is they get a sort of gratification from getting a spontaneous reaction. They don't understand that it might hurt the 'bitee' but they do understand that if they bite, something happens. It's all part of the aping learning process.

Do what you will with the info provided to you. Don't let ANYONE make you feel like a bad mom if you tap, nibble, scold your child. The fact that you care enough to seek help in a public forum SHOULD show everyone you LOVE your child.

My nephew was a biter and I tried EVERYTHING with the ruthless little man LOL. he's a headstrong lil man in training and nothing conventional worked. When I finally had had enough I dipped my finger in vinegar and let him bite me. Believe you me he never bit me again. My only regret is not having that on video because the look on his face was PRICELESS!

If I've offended anyone with this post it was not my intention.

your post was great. you hit the nail on the head with every point.

also - vinegar! that's genius! lol

[D-Roc]

I think you're a little hard on yourself. Perhaps your high expectations of yourself are what's causing you to be so harsh with others' way of parenting?

Just a thought...

Nope. My expectations are not to high at all. I take great pride with meeting the goals my wife and I have agreed on and seeing how these logical methods work without resorting to any type of hitting.

I am wondering how the parents would feel if their boss or co-workers flick them on the cheek or tap their hands to get their attention or even imitate a behaviour to show them it is wrong.

[nadiabreckon]

Nope. My expectations are not to high at all. I take great pride with meeting the goals my wife and I have agreed on and seeing how these logical methods work without resorting to any type of hitting.

I am wondering how the parents would feel if their boss or co-workers flick them on the cheek or tap their hands to get their attention or even imitate a behaviour to show them it is wrong.

Pretty sure there's no flicking in order to get their attention in the way you are making it sound...And personally, my boss is only there to show my the way's of the job, not the way to properly act as I grow older and become part of society as we do with our children... IMHO

[Patty Smyth]

Well I never had to flick any of my employees on the head or tap them on the hand mainly because they were adults and could comprehend the english language. LOL

[D-Roc]

Well I never had to flick any of my employees on the head or tap them on the hand mainly because they were adults and could comprehend the english language. LOL

Kids also comprehend the english language.