any advice for a biting baby?

[honker]

One of my twins, turning one soon, is a real biter. He has been doing it for almost 2 months already. It is really bothering us because biter has 5 teeth and his twin only has one, but about a half dozen bitemark bruises all over his arms. Poor little guy!

Obviously, we try to get there in time to stop it, but are usually a second too late. They play together almost all of the time, so it doesn't seem right to stop that. When it happens we flick him on the cheek, pick him up, and move him away and give him no attention.

I used to give him something else to chew/bite, but we are noticing he does it when he is frustrated so it isn't about wanting to chew/bite.

Given that this isn't working, has anyone else had any success getting this to stop?

[francine1985]

my ds is an only child and has always refused to take a pacifier so he would chew on my finger instead. he is also breast fed. when he first started biting it was while he was nursing and i would take him off and put him back on and that never seemed to work with us(although a lot of people recomend it). one day he bit me really hard while nursing and it was extremely painful (a huge shooting pain in my breast. it got swollen and backed up and hurt a lot for about a week or so. I think he bit so hard it plugged one of the milk ducts) anyways i screemed ow and he never bit me again. sometimes when he chews on my finger he will start biting with his teeth and i just say you are biting mommy and it hurts and he will stop biting and just suck on the finger or move it to his gums and chew with his gums(which he know is ok because it doesnt hurt mommy and he only does that when he is teething.)

[poppleton]

My second child, a son, was also a biter around that age. As soon as that started, we would pick him up, look him in the eye and say, "No biting" really firmly. Then we'd put him in time out for a minute (and completely ignore him except for sitting him back down if he got up). He grew out of it pretty quickly We've also tapped him on the hand for doing that, which was also effective. I hope it resolves quickly for you!

[Litesandsirens911]

My sister had twin boys who are 18 months...she too just picks the biter up and firmly says "no biting! that's a no-no!" and puts him in his little chair...it seems to be working.

[D-Roc]

My second child, a son, was also a biter around that age. As soon as that started, we would pick him up, look him in the eye and say, "No biting" really firmly. Then we'd put him in time out for a minute (and completely ignore him except for sitting him back down if he got up). He grew out of it pretty quickly

This is what you should do minus the "tapping" on the hand and the flicking of the cheek. That does not send the right message at all and can easily lead to other physical forms of punishment which is not right.

As you said he is frustrated. That is when you help him find a way to express his frustration other than biting. Show him how to use his words, but at the same time he must go in time out. If it continues, you should separate them and tell him they can not play together until you stop biting.

[nadiabreckon]

This is what you should do minus the "tapping" on the hand and the flicking of the cheek. That does not send the right message at all and can easily lead to other physical forms of punishment which is not right.

As you said he is frustrated. That is when you help him find a way to express his frustration other than biting. Show him how to use his words, but at the same time he must go in time out. If it continues, you should separate them and tell him they can not play together until you stop biting.

I disagree with you on the tapping on the hand...We gently tap DS' hand when he's doing something bad, and he knows that he has to stop doing it (he's 16m and is trying to find his boundaries). We don't tap him anywhere else (except for playful spanks on his little tush when we're playing). As kids, we were tapped on the hands and it never got any worse than that...but the way you're wording it, our parents should have been throwing down beatings to us...

People have different ways of parenting and it's always going to be an ongoing argument as to how to "properly" raise a child...

[Insane]

Since he isn't quite 1 yet, I would bet he doesn't understand what he is doing is wrong. Babies usually bite because they are teething or exploring with their mouth. Offer alternatives like teething rings and toys to chomp on and explore. Have you tried offering a snack? Honestly, at almost 1, he isn't doing it to be malicious. He won't understand why he's being "punished". I would just do what you are doing....move him away and offer a distraction and something else to put in his mouth.

[momofkali]

Ok maybe I am old school and please don't insult my way of parenting.

But....

We would bite them back. Not hard, no real marks, no bruising no breaking skin but they get the idea real fast when it is like a pinch that it is painful and they dont' want that.

At that age cause and effect must be immediate.

Take my opinion or leave it but it has worked for us.

[D-Roc]

I disagree with you on the tapping on the hand...We gently tap DS' hand when he's doing something bad, and he knows that he has to stop doing it (he's 16m and is trying to find his boundaries). We don't tap him anywhere else (except for playful spanks on his little tush when we're playing). As kids, we were tapped on the hands and it never got any worse than that...but the way you're wording it, our parents should have been throwing down beatings to us...

People have different ways of parenting and it's always going to be an ongoing argument as to how to "properly" raise a child...

Just because the older generation did it does not mean it should be ok to continue. Tapping the hand, etc only sends the message that hitting (a mild form but hitting none the less) is ok and it does not solve the core issue behind the behaviour. There are always alternate and better ways to parenting and punishment to help a child at any age understand why the behaviour is wrong and what behaviour is correct.

Ok maybe I am old school and please don't insult my way of parenting.

But....

We would bite them back. Not hard, no real marks, no bruising no breaking skin but they get the idea real fast when it is like a pinch that it is painful and they dont' want that.

At that age cause and effect must be immediate.

Take my opinion or leave it but it has worked for us.

While I admit that once out of frustration I did this. I regretted it right away and it showed, when frustrated, how a parent can resort to physical violence. I felt sick to my stomach. I had to think how I came to that point and what I failed at to make me resort to such poor way of parenting. I swore I would never resort to such a thing again as it is wrong in so many ways.

[nadiabreckon]

Just because the older generation did it does not mean it should be ok to continue. Tapping the hand, etc only sends the message that hitting (a mild form but hitting none the less) is ok and it does not solve the core issue behind the behaviour. There are always alternate and better ways to parenting and punishment to help a child at any age understand why the behaviour is wrong and what behaviour is correct.



While I admit that once out of frustration I did this. I regretted it right away and it showed, when frustrated, how a parent can resort to physical violence. I felt sick to my stomach. I had to think how I came to that point and what I failed at to make me resort to such poor way of parenting. I swore I would never resort to such a thing again as it is wrong in so many ways.

Well, I guess according to you we're the worst parents in the world...Hmmm...

[honker]

Thank you all for your advice - I hope I haven't caused too much of a kafuffle (SP?).

To clarify, the flick on the cheek is not punishment, it is to distract him, as I suspect the tap on the hand is also intended. It is not done in anger or frustration at all on my part, or obviously with any force. We are talking about a baby here!!! With my older son, he bit me twice during nursing which resolved quickly with the "OW" - hard not to scream that - and a flick on the cheek the second time. As I mentioned, with this guy it isn't teething because he specifically only does it when he gets frustrated - most often when his twin takes the toy he has. I should add the other guy retaliated by pulling biter's hair, but they both got their haircut so there is nothing left to grab! He only has one tooth . . . so when I have seen him try to bite back it didn't work. Poor thing.

I posted because my method of the flick, saying "no biting" loudly and moving him away technique hasn't worked, as evidenced by the number of bite-bruises on his poor twins arm. This has been going on for almost two months now and I need to resolve it - I find asking other parents gives me different things to try.

I was looking for a variety of opinions because as already pointed out, we all parent differently . . . it doesn't make it wrong. I think I will try the "no biting" then moving him into an exersaucer in their older brother's time out corner as a sort of timeout. Thanks for that idea, I hadn't even thought of that although we do use timeouts quite effectively with our older son, but we didn't start them until 18 or 20 months.

I also sought advice (elsewhere, as I hadn't joined here yet) when my 3 year old was poo smearing . . . I got a broad spectrum of opinions there as well. However in that case no one was getting hurt except for me - my back from all the scrubbing and my lungs from overexposure to Lysol lol. Thankfully that crappy mess sorted itself out. This is different because he is hurting his twin brother, and biters can stay biters for a longggg time.

Thank you for all of your opinions, I appreciate you taking the time to try to help

[Patty Smyth]

Changed my mind. LOL I had written something else but I have to agree with Momofkali. One bite and they never did it again.

Parenting your children is no ones business but your own and if you feel a slap on the hand or a flick is good enough to distract them then thats what works for you. Before children are old enough to communicate verbally they do so physically. It's what they know. Biting at 1 year old though requires a different approach than a 5 year old biting. They are obviously doing it for different reasons and have very different levels of communication skills.

[itsjustmebub]

Resist the urge Patty lol

[Patty Smyth]

Resist the urge Patty lol

I changed my mind Bub. LOL Resistance is futile.!!!

[itsjustmebub]

My advice to you would be to just be consistent. Kids will remember over time with repetition of the same response from the parent.

Also, don't let anyone tell you that your parenting style is the wrong one. That's tacky.

Do what's best for your family