Facebook and how we've changed

[Zonny]

You totally outted yourself with your naughty texting behaviours, I like that The couple I'm speaking of will come to my house to visit me and sit on the couch all the while their fingers tapping at their phones and later you can read on their facebook wall what "conversations" they had back and forth the whole time they were here. *sighs* I'm sorry but that's incredibly rude and I don't understand it.

There are VERY FEW friends that actually pick up a phone and call me anymore, instead I'll get messages on my facebook. I really do miss phone and face to face conversations that seem to be going the way of the dinosaur.

That IS rude. That's not so much FB's fault, it's just their method of rudeness, they'd likely find a way to be rude some other way if that didn't exist.

[anisa]

i don't think those examples are accurate in being reasons to show that we are losing touch as a society.

as for ppl that are seperated, engaged whatever, who is to say that a person who knows them would have recieved a phone call the next day announcing the news. sometimes you don't find out about these things until a few weeks or months later.

even with immediate family members, would they really be calling every day to give a top to bottom update on every thing?

i think the opposite of facebook, i think it allows us to stay in touch so much easier, and share even the smallest things with our loved ones. things so small that you might not call someone to tell about, but they are aware because of being connected in this electronic way.

[Lynn49]

i killed my account that had my real name.. the only one i have now is my fake one for freebies.. i got sick of the invites and the pokes and all the stupidity of it, and i never even posted anywhere! i don't care that so-and-so "liked" a comment that someone made about something stupid; i don't care that someone else commented on someone else's picture; i don't care that person X and person Y are now friends.. all the people that found me that i went to school with and asked me to be their friend, i ask WHY? they never spoke to me in high school, why the hell do they want to speak to me now? so i killed it, and quite frankly, i don't care what they think about it.. i do wonder though, why i made the account in the first place? everyone that i want to speak to i speak to.. none of my family is on fb.. i also am a very private person and i don't want everyone knowing my business.. i'm with darth, i have ZERO pictures of me anywhere.. ... sc is my fb, it's all i need... that's my rant for the day

Wow, Jays! You hit the nail right on the head!!! I couldn't have said it better myself!! I was trying to put it all politely, but Honey, the gloves are off!!
Ahem.....if I have to find out someone is engaged or broke up with their significant "other" in FB, then I obviously wasn't important enough for them to send me an email letting me know. I mean....how little do we now think of ourselves that we have to SEEK out information on other people?!! And how daft is it, that people post those things on fb, expecting people to "find" them?!
Omg, yes, the pokes, the nonsense that goes on...I really do have a life outside of the computer (I really do!)...but like you, I maintain one for coupons and even that irks me to high heaven! Companies have web-sites! USE them! Truth be told, when I see a coupon on fb, I don't even bother.
I think crap will hit the fan before too long re fb....already couples are finding their wedding pictures advertising whatever it is on other sites ... I'll keep my business MY business. But each to their own!

[princessjen]

i killed my account that had my real name.. the only one i have now is my fake one for freebies.. i got sick of the invites and the pokes and all the stupidity of it, and i never even posted anywhere! i don't care that so-and-so "liked" a comment that someone made about something stupid; i don't care that someone else commented on someone else's picture; i don't care that person X and person Y are now friends.. all the people that found me that i went to school with and asked me to be their friend, i ask WHY? they never spoke to me in high school, why the hell do they want to speak to me now? so i killed it, and quite frankly, i don't care what they think about it.. i do wonder though, why i made the account in the first place? everyone that i want to speak to i speak to.. none of my family is on fb.. i also am a very private person and i don't want everyone knowing my business.. i'm with darth, i have ZERO pictures of me anywhere.. ... sc is my fb, it's all i need... that's my rant for the day

Same here! I have a fake account with a fake name for freebies, and thats it. I really dont care what people who never cared about me before and all of a sudden want to be my friend now, are doing now. I just dont care if they are eatting a bag of chips, for if they are stuck in traffic, or about to take a shower. I dont want my face and if i'm about to take shower or not all over the internet!

[i_forget]

I have a fb account, and I just finished "cleaning it up". I was sick of old friends sending me "how you doing....want to get together and talk about the resp's? I'm selling" or the " how you doing?" messages that I would reply to and then not hear back from them on. I still have it active for the family to view when they are on so they can see how my kids are doing and there are a few friends on there that I talk to ... people that are in my week to week life. Everyone else is going. They can call me or text me if they want to talk to me.

[blueyedmama]

I had a FB account..but closed it 'cause all the "friends" BS was being dragged into my homelife. Too much drama. It can be a good thing, but unfortunately I've more harm than good being done on FB. Now, with 2 young teenage sons at home, who are not allowed (and they're ok with that!) we have to set good examples...so no FB.

[glowworm2k]

Same here! I have a fake account with a fake name for freebies, and thats it. I really dont care what people who never cared about me before and all of a sudden want to be my friend now, are doing now. I just dont care if they are eatting a bag of chips, for if they are stuck in traffic, or about to take a shower. I dont want my face and if i'm about to take shower or not all over the internet!

I'm in the same boat as you, PrincessJen! I think it's really funny - my fake fb page (in my cat's name) has REAL friends... people who I don't even know that befriended her. I added them for the hilarious factor.

I am with GoJays - I don't want folks who never talked to me in high school to pretend to be my friends now. I'm also a fairly private person, so I dislike the idea of airing my business for everyone to see/read about.

[glowworm2k]

Most of the stuff we text or IM aren't the kinda stuff I'd be talking about in front of the kids. Booty call stuff...

I laughed really hard at your remark. DH and I just use the same trick my grandparents used - employing slang terms or our own personal lingo if we need to coordinate some fun when others are around.... LOL, my grandma once told me that she and granddad would just say they had to go check on something in the barn and sneak out for a quick bit of romance - at least presumably more romantic than a hog barn sounds!!

[erin9mmm]

i killed my account that had my real name.. the only one i have now is my fake one for freebies.. i got sick of the invites and the pokes and all the stupidity of it, and i never even posted anywhere! i don't care that so-and-so "liked" a comment that someone made about something stupid; i don't care that someone else commented on someone else's picture; i don't care that person X and person Y are now friends.. all the people that found me that i went to school with and asked me to be their friend, i ask WHY? they never spoke to me in high school, why the hell do they want to speak to me now? so i killed it, and quite frankly, i don't care what they think about it.. i do wonder though, why i made the account in the first place? everyone that i want to speak to i speak to.. none of my family is on fb.. i also am a very private person and i don't want everyone knowing my business.. i'm with darth, i have ZERO pictures of me anywhere.. ... sc is my fb, it's all i need... that's my rant for the day

Except for the fake account part I could have wrote your rant! To me fb is just a forum for gossip and being nosy. Not only do I not post photos anywhere but my husband and I have also asked family and friends with fb accounts to respect our wishes and not post any either. What scares me about fb is it is for the most part uncontrollable. My oldest daughter was bullied last year and my biggest fear was what fb could do to her - even if she doesn't even have an account of her own.
I wish it was never created.

[erin9mmm]

as for ppl that are seperated, engaged whatever, who is to say that a person who knows them would have recieved a phone call the next day announcing the news. sometimes you don't find out about these things until a few weeks or months later.

even with immediate family members, would they really be calling every day to give a top to bottom update on every thing?

The way I see it is that finding out information later used to be okay before fb - even if it was months later. What I don't understand is why it's not okay now? Why do we need to know something like a separation the moment it happens?

Also I don't think I would want a top to bottom update on everything from my immediate family. Most of it shouldn't be my business to know anyways.
..but to each their own I guess.

[emmy3111]

I actually really like FB... everyone in my family (except my IMMEDIATE family) lives in Europe. For years and years before Facebook, I would only hear news about my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins second-hand through my parents - and even then, how do you remember what nearly 100 relatives have going on in their lives? Because of the time difference and language barrier (not to mention cost) of phone calls, mail, etc... it was tough to keep in touch. Facebook allows me to hear about engagements, new houses, new jobs, new babies... to see photos and chat on a regular basis with my cousins. It has given me a sense of "family" outside my parents, brothers and sister that was missing for a really long time. I grew up in a town where most people had all their extended family within a half-hour drive... always felt like I was missing out. My cousin just had a baby last week... I'll get to see pictures as he grows - instead of one photo every few years.
I don't participate in all the silly extras like "farmville" and "what colour is your bra today?"... but what I do chose to share and take part in, I feel enriches my life... and I'd like to think that the majority of people who "stalk" my profile do it for the same reasons I do... they care about me - and life and circumstance just happen to get in the way of being able to catch up in person.

[Sunshyne1]

I like FB for catching up with Family members that have moved away, and to re-connect with High School Friends.
What I don't like about FB is when people post info or try to contact me through there for important stuff.
"how come you didn't come to "so & so's" funeral?
me: WHAT?
"yeah, I was surprised you weren't there"
me: Why didn't you let me know!?!?!?
"I did!! I posted something about it on my wall and notified you of the post!?
WTF is that?
don't email me to invite me to dinner, pick up the phone.
don't email me to invite me to a birthday party, pick up the phone
don't post on my wall to see how im doing, pick up the phone.

I think people rely a bit too much on FB & emails instead of an old fashioned phone call or face to face.

I write out Christmas cards each year, I don't email cards or FB them a Merry Christmas
I send invitations in the mail or phone people when I want them to attend a function, i don't rely on emails or FB

[Zonny]

I'm also a regular Facebook user. I don't agree with everyone bashing it because folks share too much information. This is not a FB feature, it's everywhere online, even here. Is SC a bad place to be because people share information that I would not?

Of course it isn't. I can choose to share what I want, and I can choose to read what I want. So can you.

I use FB regularly, but would not personally use it to tell people I'm separated, that's just me. However, I can kind of understand why some would. Many years ago I was engaged, and we went our separate ways rather suddenly (when I threw him out on his a## for some pretty big reasons). Afterwards, people still called looking for him, it was very awkward to explain that we were no longer together, that he'd moved out and I didn't know (nor care) where he was. So this can be a way to let everyone know and avoid the pain of explaining to everyone who asks.

On the subject of why we now feel the need to know things immediately these days, that's currently how the world works. We learn of Whitney Houston's death right after it happens, her funeral is covered live, complete with details of who broke down when during said funeral (which I thought was AWFUL). Coverage of wars and conflicts and coups around the world is online for us all to see within hours. This can be good and bad. It's more difficult to hide what you're doing as a country when everyone has a cellphone and can post it online immediately.

But what many folks do fail to realize is that once you put something online, whether it's you and your partner in a sex tape or an innocent photo of your child naked, those pics are there FOREVER. You can't unpost them. For most of us, it's a non-issue. But if you ever want to run for public office after posting drunken naked photos of yourself, they WILL come back to haunt you.

[erin9mmm]

I actually really like FB... everyone in my family (except my IMMEDIATE family) lives in Europe. For years and years before Facebook, I would only hear news about my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins second-hand through my parents - and even then, how do you remember what nearly 100 relatives have going on in their lives? Because of the time difference and language barrier (not to mention cost) of phone calls, mail, etc... it was tough to keep in touch....

I can see how that can be very useful, and would probably do the same if I were you.

....On the subject of why we now feel the need to know things immediately these days, that's currently how the world works.

Unfortunately that's true. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong century because I really seem to dig my heels in about technology and change.

[screamy]

Same here! I have a fake account with a fake name for freebies, and thats it. I really dont care what people who never cared about me before and all of a sudden want to be my friend now, are doing now. I just dont care if they are eatting a bag of chips, for if they are stuck in traffic, or about to take a shower. I dont want my face and if i'm about to take shower or not all over the internet!

+1

I can see some value in it for keeping in touch with people who are not close friends, to an extent, but what I don't understand is the people who feel they NEED to update their status with "hopping in the shower" or whatever.

I am completely off the grid when it comes to social media, and my family knows that they will be torn new orifices if they make any reference to me on their FB pages. I'm absolutely camera-phobic, too - there are no pictures of me anywhere online. Period.