A few LOLS for you.....

[MortgageQueen]

I'm glad you live in the COUNTRY RC!! Lol!!

[MortgageQueen]

STELLA AWARDS

For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself
and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where
she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the
coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving.
Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?

That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits
and verdicts in the U.S.

Here are the Stella's for 2015!!!!


* SEVENTH PLACE *

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000
by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a
toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store
owners were understandably surprised by the verdict,
considering the running toddler was her own.

* SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus
medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with
a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was
someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal
his neighbour's hubcaps.

* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a
house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately
for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and
he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't
re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to
the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for
eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi
and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's
insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly,
the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000
for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.

* FOURTH PLACE *

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the
Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after
being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbour's beagle - even
though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury
believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the
butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard
and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered
a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on
a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink
was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.

*SECOND PLACE*

Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night
club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms.
Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid
paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay
her $12,000...oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.

* FIRST PLACE * ~ absolutely brilliant!

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot
Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football
game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at
70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of
the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor
home left the freeway, crashed and over turned. Also not surprisingly,
Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual
that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control
was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, ** ARE YOU SITTING DOWN ?

** $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. **

Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just
in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

[MortgageQueen]

A U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas.
The Captain gets on the megaphone and shouts, “Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?”
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, “Gringo, we are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s.”
The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter. The Captain finally catches his breath, gets back on the megaphone and asks, “Just the four of you?”
The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, “No senor, we are the last four. The other 21 million are already there.”

​Touche.

[heartgirl99]

[DaveP]

I apologize in advance for the blasphemy but... grumpy cat!

[Natalka]

[22hicks]

Wendy was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know.

One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes, and Wendy was among them.

The police took them outside and lined them up along the driveway when, suddenly, Wendy's grandma came by.

Grandma asked, 'Why are you standing in line here, dear?'

Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Wendy told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.

'Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself,' and proceeded to the back of the line.

A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes.

When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, 'Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?'

'Grandma replied, 'Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry.'

..........The policeman fainted

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

Oh, how I wish!

[dededi]

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[padyofurniture]

[padyofurniture]