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Thread: would it be odd if i.....

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    Smart Canuck idonovan's Avatar
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    So, my mom is in this transitional housing place recovering from a bad injury, doing well. I visit every couple days or so. I am happily married. Why i mentioned that is cuz a few days ago this guy about my age came there cuz he lost his leg. I feel bad for him, gota be tough. Hes also married got 2 kids, i know this from moms sharring. She likes to ask ppl why they are there. Anway I feel like he could be a cool friend, I have not really talked to him but i know hes seen me. Anyway im thinking of adding him on fb to start cnversations on there...hes got computer acces they all do. WHould it be odd to add somone on fb without really talking in real life first?
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    Canadian Guru macw1960's Avatar
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    I am not an overly outgoing person but I myself would not be adding someone I don't really know to my FB page. Only my opinion as everyone's are different.
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    In my opinion as a married person...go have a conversation with your significant other and not worry about adding strangers to FB.
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    The ONLY Diva of SC! saveadollardiva's Avatar
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    I think you should talk to your partner first, I agree with priceisright on this one. Like if you don't know the person I would not ask them. But first off, as a married person as well, if my dh added someone to his facepage I didn't know all of sudden it would look bad. I think it is one thing if your with your mom and he says Hi and you have a small conversation with him, but don't make a habit of it you know what I mean?


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    Senior Canuck Kalmel's Avatar
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    Why do you feel the need to do this? I mean, if he's married and all, doesnt mean the wife would be thrilled about this... and your husband. Dont get me wrong though, i think it's really sweet and all but gotta step back and look at all the angles first.
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    Smart Canuck i_love_to_save's Avatar
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    you need to ask yourself why you want to add him to your FB account. If it is for just want to chat with him, why can't you do it in person. Then according to your responses make a decision.

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    Canadian Genius anisa's Avatar
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    by all means chat with him or say hello if you see him there, but going out of your way to add him as a facebook friend might not be the best thing.
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    Canadian Guru DaveP's Avatar
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    I agree with all the wise ladies above.
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    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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    ABSOLUTELY agree with everyone!! Why on earth would you add a perfect (or...imperfect, because who really knows him?) to your FB??!!! It just seems a little weird to me.....talk to him, yes...but what's to be accomplished having him as a FB friend...???

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    I think I understand more than some folks do. I have FB friends, many who are Americans I have never met in person, from a parenting group I used to frequent. One is in Toronto, I met her last year when I was there for a wedding.

    I also understand the great thing about having someone who understands your situation. For me, my mom fell and broke her hip in March. I have a male coworker who sits near me who's gone through something similar with his mother (with extra stuff like losing his father shortly before that). He is an only child, I have a brother who lives away. We're not 'cheating' on our spouses in any way, but we understand each other's situations better than really anyone else does, having to do this stuff on our own, and we chat a lot about it, ask about each other's moms every day. It's really nice to be able to talk to someone who really does understand what you're going through. My DH is in no way less important by this, he knows about this guy and that we chat a lot about this stuff.

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    Canadian Guru DaveP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zonny View Post
    I think I understand more than some folks do. I have FB friends, many who are Americans I have never met in person, from a parenting group I used to frequent. One is in Toronto, I met her last year when I was there for a wedding.

    I also understand the great thing about having someone who understands your situation. For me, my mom fell and broke her hip in March. I have a male coworker who sits near me who's gone through something similar with his mother (with extra stuff like losing his father shortly before that). He is an only child, I have a brother who lives away. We're not 'cheating' on our spouses in any way, but we understand each other's situations better than really anyone else does, having to do this stuff on our own, and we chat a lot about it, ask about each other's moms every day. It's really nice to be able to talk to someone who really does understand what you're going through. My DH is in no way less important by this, he knows about this guy and that we chat a lot about this stuff.
    I kniow what you mean. I'm lucky in that I have the SC family to provide that support, caring and understanding.
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    Smart Canuck smileyKT's Avatar
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    I would definitely talk to him in person first before adding him on facebook.
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    Smart Canuck idonovan's Avatar
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    u guys are all right no fb without talking first i just lack friends, like i have some but barly see them. And sometimes when i get close to making a freind something always happens like today girl from school invited me over as its break and i have not seen her in a wile. i did not go this is second time. this time cuz i relised how far away she really is for me and i did not have gas or funds to get there and she dont drive..n only wanted me over...so ya this guy kinda felt connection in a friend way. just shy to start a convo and i wanna give him space to recover.

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    Canadian Guru DaveP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by idonovan View Post
    u guys are all right no fb without talking first i just lack friends, like i have some but barly see them. And sometimes when i get close to making a freind something always happens like today girl from school invited me over as its break and i have not seen her in a wile. i did not go this is second time. this time cuz i relised how far away she really is for me and i did not have gas or funds to get there and she dont drive..n only wanted me over...so ya this guy kinda felt connection in a friend way. just shy to start a convo and i wanna give him space to recover.
    Why do you lack friends? Are you shy? I am too, I get to know people slowly. Are you new to the area? I can understand both. It's not always easy for some of us to get to know others. But if you want to be friends with this guy just say hi. You don't have to give your life story or anything. And forget about facebook, that should be for people you already know.

    And let your hubby know if you strike up a friendship. My wife and I have been together for 18 years and trust each iother completely. She has friends who are male, I have friends who are female, whatever. Most of our friends are mutal, but not all (work, extracurricular activities). We each know the other would not stray. I don't check up on her, she doesn't check up on me - there's no need. And if you just let him know you're striking up a friendship with so and so, he'll know there's no need to check up on you either.
    Last edited by DaveP; Wed, May 30th, 2012 at 12:29 AM.
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    Smart Canuck idonovan's Avatar
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    im just shy been here my whole life. me n hubby have some mutural friends that we dont see much of. we both seem to be home bodies. will an i trust each other 100% i dont care if he had female friends.. the ones he has are wifes or gf of his male friends. Same with me exept opposite genders. I also have fear or faliur or lack of something to talk about...its prob why i did not meett the girl from school today that and the distants...would of been nice we are both older students... nlow shes not replying to my texts.

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