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Sun, Sep 16th, 2012, 05:21 PM #16Canadian Genius
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If it were my DS or DD, I would wait until they were 18. They are then an adult and can do with their bodies as they please. It may sound inpractical but it worked with me when growing up as it did with my DS.
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Sun, Sep 16th, 2012, 05:25 PM #17Senior Canuck
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Sun, Sep 16th, 2012, 08:59 PM #18Canadian Guru
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He says he wants to do this because he wants to be a "Rock Star" but Rock Stars may not be wearing earrings when he gets to that age. He may want to set his own trends, you could remind him of that.
You will need to consider what you want to do. But if it were me, I would say that some fashion trends are negotiable, some are not until you are much older. It's like driving. Some kids are capable of driving at 11 or 12, but it's probably better that they are not allowed to until 16.
Providing boundaries is the job of parents. I would provide him with some choices about what he wants with which you feel totally comfortable.
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Sun, Sep 16th, 2012, 09:47 PM #19CaLoonie
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Thank you all very much for your responses. Much to think on.
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Tue, Sep 18th, 2012, 12:41 AM #20
Try magnetic earrings for now, just to soothe his screaming inner style-monster.
Honestly aside from the aftercare (you're the parent, you know him and how he would handle it and if he could do it) I see no problem with it.
If you do get it done, have it done by a professional with a needle, not a gun, and if he grows to dislike it, take it out! By the time he's an adult all he'll probably have left is a little dent in his ear, not noticeable to somebody not looking for it.
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Tue, Sep 18th, 2012, 11:19 AM #21Canadian Genius
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If my son came home and wanted earrings, he is 6, I would not let him. I'd wait a while, months, years maybe. DH had his pierced as a young adult. He no longer wore earrings when I met him. He has dents in his ears of course. Doesn't bother me, but I don't find piercing on a man attractive. DS is responsible, but we're still working on basics like brushing teeth before school. I think he needs to master the basics before adding anything else for him to look after.
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Tue, Sep 18th, 2012, 11:44 AM #22Trade Mod
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It's not all that unusual for boys to have pierced ears (or a pierced ear) now, quite a few of the kids at the school near me d.o
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Tue, Sep 18th, 2012, 09:53 PM #23Smart Canuck
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at 6 years old " dressing like a rock star'
getting ears pierced
what's next tatoos? and body piercing?
i wouldn't encourage this kind of behavior, especially at this very young age!You can't change other people. You can only change yourself"
- H. H. Getter
when we change our attitude, we change our lives
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Tue, Sep 18th, 2012, 10:07 PM #24Canadian Genius
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Your son sounds awesome and if you think he is responsible enough to keep up cleaning them, you are confident in his self hygiene abilities and you don't have a problem with them I say go for it. Who cares if other kids think they are for girls! Its not like a tatoo, if he decides he doesn't want them he can just take them out and let them heal over.
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Tue, Sep 18th, 2012, 10:20 PM #25CaLoonie
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I may have oversimplified his reasoning. It's not just that he wants to be a rockstar...it's his personality. When talking to my friends who "know" him, none were surprised that he wanted his ears pierced, not one. He just sees something and if he likes it, that's what he likes. The norms of gender and fashion norms don't apply to his way of thinking. He talked to one of his girl schoolmates about earrings and that's when he started talking about getting his ears pierced. He likes to get his nails painted, he likes to wear temporary kids tattoos, when we went back home to England he saw kilts (he calls them man skirts and his grandma is getting one made in the family tartan) being worn and to him they were the greatest things ever. He's a little boy who loves hockey, Ben 10 and all things that he deems worthy...whether they are traditionally for males or females. On the other side of things I have to wonder if he was a girl would I be having any reservations. His reasoning for wanting them is not much different than a little girls. If you ask my little girl why she wants them, she says "because they're pretty" and I'd bet she's no different than most other little girls. My struggle to decide is becoming less...difficult with time. Because I know the answer...if he was a girl he'd already have his ears pierced. I don't have issues with earrings, for those who think age is the factor here, I get it...I just don't agree with it. I'm going to track down some magnetic earrings and let him give them a try, if he can keep track of them and if he still wants his ears pierced in 6 months then he will be getting his ears pierced (same rules will apply for his sister
. I won't let my hang ups (or other peoples hang ups) be his path. Part of the most amazing things about my little boy is his sense of self, he does not let anyone else dictate what he likes, he does not let peers decide what is acceptable, he loves what he loves, the end. These are all things that can change with time, I expect them to frankly...I just won't be part of the reason. I 'd like to think I'll be one of the reasons that change took so long...maybe if it changes at all. After all before the first month of kindergarten was over at least 4 other boys made their mom's go out and by them vests and ties
Thanks for all the comments, they helped.
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Tue, Sep 18th, 2012, 10:45 PM #26
Stop looking at this like an adult. Look at it like a kid. "Rockstar" just means "cool dude". It doesn't mean cocaine-snorting, buried in women, drunk driving and beating people up or chomping the heads off of animals.
Nobody is going to tattoo a six year old, so that isn't 'next'. He'll probably have to wait until he's at LEAST sixteen, with parent permission, to even have any sort of reputable artist touch him. What's more likely, is he'll have to wait until he's a legal adult in his province. 18 or 19. Tattoos are expensive and birthday money from grammy doesn't usually cut it for what a tattoo costs. It's not going to happen any time soon.
As for body piercing, NOBODY is going to do a body piercing on a child. Around here you need to be 13 minimum with parent consent to even have somebody do your nose, bellybutton or in some cases, helix (upper ear). That's seven years from now.
Please do share, what "kind of behavior" is she encouraging? I can't think of any long term detrimental effect that a small ear piercing would have on this child.
If a six year old girl wanted an ear piercing, would you be saying that the parent shouldn't encourage this kind of behavior to them? I really don't believe you would be.
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Tue, Sep 18th, 2012, 11:56 PM #27
It's always interesting to see how different people parent in different ways. It doesn't necessarily mean one way is better than the other (although I know that down deep it can be hard sometimes not to think our way is the right way
) One parent may see piercing as encouraging a kind of behaviour they don't want to see in their children, while another might see it as accepting and embracing their child's creativity and self-expression. I agree that it is important to have clear boundaries for children....but those boundaries are set according to our own family's values. Other people's feedback can be helpful and important, but in the final analysis I think that we know our children the best. We understand what is deeply important to them, what can 'make or break' their spirit, and which of their wishes and wants change with the wind. It's our job to make the best decisions we can for our own kids....and I can guarantee that we'll make lots of good decisions along with the occasional error.
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Wed, Sep 19th, 2012, 11:19 AM #28Smart Canuck
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Stop trying to normalize this type of behavior! The MAJORITY of boys do NOT want their ears pierced, they do not want painted nails or have a desire to wear dresses/skirts. Sounds like the OP has a child suffering from "gender dysmorphia" OR it could be his enviroment where it's encouraged and there are no set boundries.
These type of deviant behavior was unheard of 40 years ago, until it became mainstream with the likes of pop culture and youtube.... I believe society today has corrupted the moral minds of children and parents alike in the western world.
As for a six years old girl wanting pierce ears.... I would not allow it, unless it was a cultural thing. I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 21 years old.You can't change other people. You can only change yourself"
- H. H. Getter
when we change our attitude, we change our lives
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Wed, Sep 19th, 2012, 11:27 AM #29Trade Mod
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Please remember that it is up to parents how to parent and not attack their choices as bad
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Wed, Sep 19th, 2012, 11:47 AM #30Canadian Genius
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Personally, I think 6 is too young to have your ears pierced. It is a painful experience and I wanted my daughters to wait until they were 16 to have their ears pierced. Unfortunately for me, my sis in law (who I love dearly) got both my daughters ears pierced without my consent and knowledge. I know she meant well, but it was maddening to see my daughters (aged 5 and 2 months) come home crying from the pain. Also, even with the best care I could give them, my daughter who was 5 at the time had both ears infected and the backs of the earrings were basically glued to the post with the blood and goop that came out from the infection. I took off the babys earrings before anything happened to her ears, and when she was 9 she begged me to allow her to pierce her ears. I took her and got her ears done, and I cleaned them for her and her only responsibility was to turn them. Unfortunately, she didnt want to wait until they healed to wear other types of earrings and changed her earrings. She got an infection in one ear and it leaked with the goop for a few days (tender, red, swollen and pain).
Its cute, and I know some kids are patient enough to wait the weeks until the piercing heals, and some kids take amazing care of them. But even with the care I gave my girls, they both ended up with infections. I would advise any parent to wait until their child is old enough to know how to care for the piercing. It really is hard on the kid and the parent when you have to deal with infection and pain.The average dog
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