All Purpose Rant Away Thread - 3.2.1 GO!

[thriftygranny]

The first school my dd went to had a policy that if you had a birthday party you had to invite the whole class up until grade 2. Invites had be given to the teacher by the parent(highly inconvenient when you work full time during school hours) to be handed out, and if you missed a kid the teacher would send a note home saying you forgot so and so and wouldn't hand out the invites until there was one for every kid. Luckily I never had a full class show up, but I would always get kids who's parents didn't RSVP show up and had a few parent drop off the other siblings and run.

Wow i had no idea this goes on,I think the school is overstepping their boundaries in huge way. So do people have fewer parties or do the kids just go to a ridiculous amount of parties in a school year? Back in the day when I was little my mother also told me to keep any invites I got to myself so no one's feelings didn't get hurt if they weren't invited. Is this too hard of a concept to teach children today?

[Candini]

My daughter isn`t even in school yet... thanks ladies.

[thriftygranny]

Sorry Candini, it stinks doesn't it!!

[GoddessDigi]

My daughter isn`t even in school yet... thanks ladies.

This is DD's first year...lol. She was in daycare last year, but with the move and all...yeah. I'm stressed, and I still have 2 months to plan. But she wants Anna and Elsa...and DH and I can't agree on where to hold it! He wants to do a movie party at the theatre, and I'm thinking maybe Chuck E Cheese...yikes!

[Lyssia510]

Wow i had no idea this goes on,I think the school is overstepping their boundaries in huge way. So do people have fewer parties or do the kids just go to a ridiculous amount of parties in a school year? Back in the day when I was little my mother also told me to keep any invites I got to myself so no one's feelings didn't get hurt if they weren't invited. Is this too hard of a concept to teach children today?

She got invited to a ridiculous amount of parties those 3 years....even the kids born in the summer handed out invites in June. And you could tell by January parents were so sick of buying nice birthday presents because they'd start bringing bags of dollar store crap as gifts(like buying a few packs of treat bag toys and multi packs of candy and dividing them up).
Her current school policy on birthday party invites is that they are handed to the teacher for the primary grades to slip in backpacks/planners so there's no hurt feelings about not getting an invite.
I don't think there's a perfect scenario that will make everyone happy or avoid hurt feelings. Even if invites are done discretely, kids will still talk on the playground and there will be hurt feelings regardless.

[Candini]

She got invited to a ridiculous amount of parties those 3 years....even the kids born in the summer handed out invites in June. And you could tell by January parents were so sick of buying nice birthday presents because they'd start bringing bags of dollar store crap as gifts(like buying a few packs of treat bag toys and multi packs of candy and dividing them up).
Her current school policy on birthday party invites is that they are handed to the teacher for the primary grades to slip in backpacks/planners so there's no hurt feelings about not getting an invite.
I don't think there's a perfect scenario that will make everyone happy or avoid hurt feelings. Even if invites are done discretely, kids will still talk on the playground and there will be hurt feelings regardless.

Invites in June??? That's crazy.
Time to home school.

[thriftygranny]

She got invited to a ridiculous amount of parties those 3 years....even the kids born in the summer handed out invites in June. And you could tell by January parents were so sick of buying nice birthday presents because they'd start bringing bags of dollar store crap as gifts(like buying a few packs of treat bag toys and multi packs of candy and dividing them up).
Her current school policy on birthday party invites is that they are handed to the teacher for the primary grades to slip in backpacks/planners so there's no hurt feelings about not getting an invite.
I don't think there's a perfect scenario that will make everyone happy or avoid hurt feelings. Even if invites are done discretely, kids will still talk on the playground and there will be hurt feelings regardless.

Wow I don't think the public schools in Alberta have jumped on this band wagon yet. I like the fact that the teacher will take time out in her busy day to make sure the invitations make it home discreetly.
I may not be popular in saying this but isn't part of life to figure out that not everyone is going to want you to come to their party and your child certainly isn't close friends with the entire class. Again my kids class sizes were 27-30 kids for heaven's sake, even if you could pull of a party for 10.00 a kid it would be minimum 300.00 . I raised four kids and my granddaughter is ten and I don't recall any of them being traumatized because they were passed over for an invitation to a party.It is our jobs as parents to use it as lesson of humility and life.

[Midnightly]

There's just no way to please everyone with this policy. If some children weren't invited, they (parent, school, kids) may felt left out. Yet if they were invited to each and every students' BD party, then it's too much for the parent to deal with (replies, gifts, bring their kid to the party). The BD kid's parent also has to deal with the party planing and may NOT even dare to throw a party if they have financial concern (what if the whole class show up??). If parents invite everyone and not many people show up, their kid may feel hurt. Maybe the school should stick their nose out of the students business.

last year (kindy) a number of parents just brought in a cake for the kid's birthday at the end of the day instead of having a birthday party.. that way they could celebrate without having to have a party...

parties are not cheap! it cost me easily $200 (this is before gift) to have a birthday party for my daughter and 10 friends once you add in the cost of the activity, the cake, goodie bags.. now imagine trying to do this with 20+ kids?! most venues have a limit of around 12-15 kids! and it's impossible to do a november birthday outside!

[Midnightly]

the only "cheap" parties i found were swimming...and personally i'm not that insane to take 20 kids swimming... or McDonalds and i'm personally not a fan of this i don't think it's all that special (its no different then a generic McD's playdate) and McD's parties are very out of style with the healthy organic movement that's popular around many parents (i know some parents who refuse to feed their kid fast food)

[Midnightly]

Wow I don't think the public schools in Alberta have jumped on this band wagon yet. I like the fact that the teacher will take time out in her busy day to make sure the invitations make it home discreetly.
I may not be popular in saying this but isn't part of life to figure out that not everyone is going to want you to come to their party and your child certainly isn't close friends with the entire class. Again my kids class sizes were 27-30 kids for heaven's sake, even if you could pull of a party for 10.00 a kid it would be minimum 300.00 . I raised four kids and my granddaughter is ten and I don't recall any of them being traumatized because they were passed over for an invitation to a party.It is our jobs as parents to use it as lesson of humility and life.

last year when my daughter was in Kindy we had her birthday at Michaels (was the most economical way to host a birthday) we gave out invites at the end of the day just as class ended (after the bell had rung in the hallway) my daughter helped me to make sure they got to the right parents with the right kids... sure enough one kid felt left out and cried and the parent complained to the teacher how it's not ok that her kid cried and was left out and something had to be done... and i got a phonecall from the teacher because of this! i explained the situation (the venue only allowed a MAX of 10 kids) and ofcourse the teacher had no answers she only had to call because a complaint was made... i can't be positive about what kid cried but i had a strong feeling that it was the one girl who wanted to be friends with my daughter but my daughter didn't like her because the girl was a bully (and had bit her at the beginning of the year, had be physical with many kids in the class, found it funny when other kids got hurt)

i do not agree with this all or none policy... because in every class there are kids your kid will not like.. there will be a bully or two, there will be a kid that will pick on other kids and no birthday child should be forced to invite people they do not like to their birthday party and i don't think banning invites is a good idea because often that's the only time a kid can hand over an invite i think this is part of the life lessons all kids need to know.. you cant be invited to everything

[thriftygranny]

Yup I agree completely Midnightly. I can't believe the parent complained to the teacher, and that would be why her child is an ankle biting bully, because mommy bails her every time there is a problem.I wish her luck in the tween and teen years.

[LisaLisaBoBisa]

I just had a talk with Ds the other day and explained the options to him.. A family and a kids from school party - but he gets a cheaper gift from us.. or just a family party and a more expensive gift.. haha. He wants a PC and was ok with no kids from school as long as I bring in some "peanut free and any other allergy free cupcakes". Now I'm on the hunt for his first PC.. SDM points perhaps..

last year when my daughter was in Kindy we had her birthday at Michaels (was the most economical way to host a birthday) we gave out invites at the end of the day just as class ended (after the bell had rung in the hallway) my daughter helped me to make sure they got to the right parents with the right kids... sure enough one kid felt left out and cried and the parent complained to the teacher how it's not ok that her kid cried and was left out and something had to be done... and i got a phonecall from the teacher because of this! i explained the situation (the venue only allowed a MAX of 10 kids) and ofcourse the teacher had no answers she only had to call because a complaint was made... i can't be positive about what kid cried but i had a strong feeling that it was the one girl who wanted to be friends with my daughter but my daughter didn't like her because the girl was a bully (and had bit her at the beginning of the year, had be physical with many kids in the class, found it funny when other kids got hurt)

i do not agree with this all or none policy... because in every class there are kids your kid will not like.. there will be a bully or two, there will be a kid that will pick on other kids and no birthday child should be forced to invite people they do not like to their birthday party and i don't think banning invites is a good idea because often that's the only time a kid can hand over an invite i think this is part of the life lessons all kids need to know.. you cant be invited to everything

[Midnightly]

I just had a talk with Ds the other day and explained the options to him.. A family and a kids from school party - but he gets a cheaper gift from us.. or just a family party and a more expensive gift.. haha. He wants a PC and was ok with no kids from school as long as I bring in some "peanut free and any other allergy free cupcakes". Now I'm on the hunt for his first PC.. SDM points perhaps..

that's a good way to go about it.. my daughter loves the party but it's impossible to find a venue that can host 25+ kids, be super fun and personalized/special (aka not a gym party where the kids run around and play like at a gym class) and not cost a small fortune

thankfully my daughter is in a school that isn't excessively PC about allergies and sensitivities peanuts are allowed as long as there isn't a peanut allergy in class, you can bring the occasional treat in to share (we brought in home made cupcakes at christmas) but i know some schools are getting so bad that you can't share any food, you cannot bring in anything that MIGHT cause an allergy issue, you have to have a litterless lunch (aka you cannot use plastic bags, plastic wrap, no juice boxes, nothing that comes in a package.. basically if you pack a muffin, it cannot be in a paper liner and if you pack sugary things they will not allow your child to eat it)

[LisaLisaBoBisa]

wel i have his birthday in feb and dd 1st birthday in march and am supposed to have a baby in between those 2.. communion in april etc etc.. on and on.. So as much as I wanted to do another one (like last year) I don't have the energy.. I did a super mario vid game themed party at home - was awesoe.. set up 2 Tvs and had Wii,Wiiu and 5-6 3ds going .. INvited kids to bring their own if they wanted.. But I don't have energy for all the decorating this year.

p.s. i made my own cupcake toppers .. lol..

that's a good way to go about it.. my daughter loves the party but it's impossible to find a venue that can host 25+ kids, be super fun and personalized/special (aka not a gym party where the kids run around and play like at a gym class) and not cost a small fortune

thankfully my daughter is in a school that isn't excessively PC about allergies and sensitivities peanuts are allowed as long as there isn't a peanut allergy in class, you can bring the occasional treat in to share (we brought in home made cupcakes at christmas) but i know some schools are getting so bad that you can't share any food, you cannot bring in anything that MIGHT cause an allergy issue, you have to have a litterless lunch (aka you cannot use plastic bags, plastic wrap, no juice boxes, nothing that comes in a package.. basically if you pack a muffin, it cannot be in a paper liner and if you pack sugary things they will not allow your child to eat it)

[Midnightly]

wel i have his birthday in feb and dd 1st birthday in march and am supposed to have a baby in between those 2.. communion in april etc etc.. on and on.. So as much as I wanted to do another one (like last year) I don't have the energy.. I did a super mario vid game themed party at home - was awesoe.. set up 2 Tvs and had Wii,Wiiu and 5-6 3ds going .. INvited kids to bring their own if they wanted.. But I don't have energy for all the decorating this year.

p.s. i made my own cupcake toppers .. lol..

oh yes! you want to do as many personalized touches as possible... and you want to be special and every year you want to outdo the previous year but some days it's too exhausting and you just want to say screw it and do something easy i feel that way about halloween lol, i'm already thinking about it and how to outdo last year's costume