I hope she doesn't take advantage of him.... rant

[***Kimura***]

No offence but you, your parents and everyone around your sister are just as much to blame as she is. You all have enabled her. If you guys stop giving her money, she won't spend your money. I find it insane that at 43, she behaves this way, she is no spring chicken and will end up alone and possibly on the streets if she doesn't stop. She has never hit rock bottom because you guys are always bailing her out. If her new guy isn't smart enough to cut her off, then that's his problem. Focus on yourself and you family, you've done more then enough for your sister. I hope one day she decides to grow up and act like a responsible adult.

[Darth Penguin]

No offence but you, your parents and everyone around your sister are just as much to blame as she is. You all have enabled her. If you guys stop giving her money, she won't spend your money. I find it insane that at 43, she behaves this way, she is no spring chicken and will end up alone and possibly on the streets if she doesn't stop. She has never hit rock bottom because you guys are always bailing her out. If her new guy isn't smart enough to cut her off, then that's his problem. Focus on yourself and you family, you've done more then enough for your sister. I hope one day she decides to grow up and act like a responsible adult.

From what the OP has posted both she and their parent's have stopped giving hand-outs...

IN fact in the OP..the lady no longer calls thier parents since thye kicked her to the curb..

Most moochers will find another dupe to fuel thier needs..sad but true..

[trishka]

I totally agree about the show Princess. Unfortunately, I think she'll never learn.

I'm glad to hear that your parents cut her off. It's not easy to cut off a family member but with her, it seemed to be getting out of hand. Whether she takes advantage of him or not is not something that you should worry too much about. He will eventually figure her out and make his own decision. Although he may be one of those men who enjoy spending money on their partner.

[MagicalDreams]

Yikes! Sounds like one of the moms from my son's team. Glad that you and your parents have cut her off, hopefully this new guy is smart and realizes her money issues!

[Kwala]

It is really disgusting when people mooch like that and it is hurtful to the other children when parents will do anything for one kid because they think the moocher needs help and the others are strong. My sister's daughter lives with her grandparents (my parents). She has lived there for last 5 years. She is 25 years old, has a decent job but lives with the grandparents because there are no rules and a lot of money to spend. Recently, her boyfriend and his pets have moved into the house as well. She has grandfather's credit card to spend money for day to day needs (groceries, booze etc). She puts in about 2,000 to 2,500 of expenses every month on the credit card. She will only eat the best foods out there and would only buy food from the most expensive stores. She does not pay a cent to cover any of her expenses because she says her grandparents can afford it. The irony of her buying all the expensive food is that while my parents are paying for the food, they are not allowed to eat it. This food is just for her and her boyfriend as it is very expensive. My parents complain that she is spending too much money but are scared to say anything to her because they like her living with them and they think if they say anything or take the credit card back, she will move out. If we try to talk to her, she is really rude to us and my parents then jump in saying she has the right to do whatever she wants because she lives here and it is her house. It disgusts all my siblings but we can't do anything because our parents like her living with them. They even bought a car for her when she moved in with them. I will never ask for anything from my parents but they wonder why it bothers all of us when they complain about my niece but don't want to do anything about it. They just say that we are jealous and don't understand why my other siblings don't want to go and visit them much.

[toban]

Thanks everyone for your input and advice Yes my parents have cut her off. She only borrowed from me once a long time ago. It's my parents she targeted the most. It got so bad, that she wanted to know how much money my parents pension (their retired) income was per month. Also she became upset anytime my parents did something to the house (paint, new toilet etc). I would never say anything to her boyfriend. He's an adult and will figure it for himself. I know he has a great paying job and probably likes to buy her gifts at times (his right). However I know what she is like..

[kokobear666]

I'm happy your parents cut her off, and not only for their greater good but for her own as well. Sounds like she seems to think she's entitled to all this material crap that she "needs". Not to knock your sister or anything, but people like her irritate me. I'm 22 and I see this behaviour all the time with people my age; that part must have blew over my head, thank god. Hopefully this boyfriend sees it sooner rather than later.

[trishka]

It got so bad, that she wanted to know how much money my parents pension (their retired) income was per month. Also she became upset anytime my parents did something to the house (paint, new toilet etc).

Wow. I have no words for that. I had to borrow money from my parents once and I felt so bad about it, I couldn't sleep for two days because I was so concerned about asking them for it. I knew they didn't have any plans to spend it but still. They said I didn't need to pay interest but I insisted because I felt so bad.

[cheapNcheeky]

I have an older sister who lives in another Province. She has a decent job but has credit card debt and other debts likely in the $50,000 plus range. If you go out to eat, and your footing the bill, she orders a appetizer, meal, drinks an dessert every time. She only wants to eat at fancy restaurants when your paying and doesn't like chain restaurants. If your out shopping, she sees an item she likes and picks it up, expects you will pay for it. If you ask her "Are you buying that?" Her response "No you are".

If someone said this to me, I'd laugh in their face lol. I'm no sucker.

[Ciel]

I can understand parents helping an offspring if employment or other circumstances are at play and she also recognized the other person's generosity/did work in kind to offset the financial help. I don't understand your sister's lack of awareness that she feels entitled to a lifestyle she cannot afford on own and in addition, is adding animals to her responsibilities. Definitely some cognitive issues at work! And she does not seem willing to address anything beyond choosing who will indulge her latest expense requests...

Should she lose her job, look out world!

I'm of the mind to offhandly spite your sister by casually dropping a remark, "did Sis tell you she is carrying about $---- in debt on her credit cards?" to her significant other. Or a milder version, "what kind of financial discussions have you had that you are paying for ----- for my Sis?"

[GoddessDigi]

I'm glad your parents 'wised up' as soon as they did.
My brother-in-law and his gf live with my in-laws, they have since soon after we got married (almost 5 years ago now). Well, the brother never moved out, but the gf moved in.
My BIL is 28, gf same or at least close to his age.
DH and I lived at his parents for about a year, when we first got married, because I wasn't a PR yet, and we didn't have much money. But the gf and I fought (because she was stealing things, and we all had proof) so they kicked US out, because if they kicked the gf out, BIL would go, too. And they had already tried living on their own once, and came back about a month later..because they CANNOT budget.
So now, at 23, we have bought my BIL's old car (cause we needed one), and my FIL lets BIL drive his brand new car, that he only got 2 years ago. They pay NO rent (we did while staying there) or food expenses).
FIL is always asking to borrow money from us...

[tobiwobi]

I would not give her money (so your family has that part covered) and would stay out of her relationship.
Also, either split bills at the restaurant or if you invited her and it was understood to be your treat then you cant really complain about what she ordered, you can just not take her out again unless she is paying for herself.

[saveadollardiva]

We have all I think at some point giving money to someone to help them out. BUT, for me, the first time they don't pay you back, don't give them anymore money. I know she is your sister, but, she is a big girl and should be able to afford what she can on her own money, not everyone elses. If your really worried about her I would take her to come classes on money and debt management. She might actually learn something. And the guy she is with probably doesn't know how much she might be in debt. The amount might be 50,000 but she could be telling him much less. I am sure though if she isn't telling him the truth he will catch on. When he see's her spending money and her debt is not covered, he will start wondering what is going on.

[toban]

Apparently the plan is she uses her income to pay off her debt and he helps pay her bills. At least that is what was mentioned almost 8 months ago. I highly doubt he would be aware of the $30,000 plus she had 'borrowed' from my parents. He seems like the type of guy who would tell her to pay them back.

In the past, when you went out for lunch or dinner with her, it was a free for all. Ordering the most expensive meal on the menu etc. I realize everybody is different. However, if someone offered to pay my lunch or dinner I wouldn't be ordering appetizer, meal, drinks, dessert. I would feel awkward, like I'm taking advantage. I would order a reasonably priced meal and water or maybe one drink at the most.

Her bf bought her a Ipad and some other items for Christmas last year. She also wanted an expensive sports jacket (maybe a ski or snowmobile jacket?) they looked at but didn't buy her for Christmas. She told me over the phone what she received, and when he was out of the room, she said "I was hoping to receive dog related stuff too"

At least my parents have cut her off. I think most people go through a stage where they need to borrow money and pay it back. However this went too far.

She planned on breeding the new dogs but has changed her mind. She has 7 now (6 adults, 1 puppy).

[Beah619]

Like many other people here I think it was good that your parents finally cut her off. Eventually the man that she is with now will realize her true character in the future and will either accept it or walkaway from her 'moochy' ways.

My mother and sister are both the same way and suck any funds they can from whomever is willing. My parents are divorced and my mother still expects for my father to pay her money!

Speaking from personal experience I realize how irritating it can be to have people in the family that live outside their means and expect others to pay for it. At the end of the day you can't change people so don't stress about it and be happy that she is no longer taking advantage of your parents. Hopefully she doesn't take advantage of what you describe as an honest man or hopefully he is able to realize what type of person she is before its too late (wondering where all his savings went )