Serious September Savers Frugal Chatter

[Frugalbigmama]

Hi Ladies,
I'm trying to stay positive today.
On Saturday I got a call from my Aunt who had breast cancer last year, telling me that her cancer is back, but in her lungs this time, and possible her head.
She starts her treatment today.
The test she did on Thursday to see if it has spread to her head will take 2 business, so there a possibility than we might get the result this evening if not then we'll get it tomorrow.
I'm trying to stay positive, but as it's the second time since last year that she has had cancer, I'm worried.
Did a lot of praying yesterday, I'm doing a lot of praying today.

Thinking of you and your family

[Caseythegoalie]

Everyone, it’s my turn to get some advice fro you guys.

Here is the situation. I’ve been friends with this woman for close to 20 years, ever since we met through a local crafting club way back when and we’ve remained friends ever since. She witnessed my life going from being single and poor to being married, and I’ve held her hand as she went through a divorce, a job loss and losing her first parent. Her last life transition has been having her mother with alzheimers come and live with her, along with getting a new job that carries a lot of stress with it. Add to the mix the fact that in the last couple of years, she added three dogs to the menagerie of three cats she already had when she moved in with her mother.

Suffice to say, this lady has a lot of stress in her life, and she doesn’t have the time to devote to me that she used to, which I completely understand under the circumstances. But lately, what’s been getting me upset with her is that twice in the last year, I’ve organized two events, weeks in advance, for which I’ve had to buy tickets for, and she cancels at the last minute. Not a day before, but about two hours before we’re supposed to be meeting. She just calls me up, with what I’m starting to qualify as a flimsy excuses, apologizes and tells me I should turn it into a date with my husband instead. She did this to me last November when I had bought tickets to attend a swanky high tea here in town, a girl event if there ever was one, and again yesterday, where I bought tickets to a lecture on knitting. In November, she complained that she was sick to her stomach and couldn’t possibly be able to eat, but the next time I saw her, she apologized and provided an explanation completely different than what she had told me. Yesterday, she told me it was because she hurt her back while playing golf on Thursday.

Now, again, I understand the stress on her life, and normally, I would understand, but these cancellations coincide with the fact that she committed herself to go out every night in the week before, including Saturday, not leaving herself anytime to rest. Last November, it was the same thing, she had been busy all week. Since then, I’ve been paying closer attention and the pattern has repeated herself over and over. Every time I'm the one making plans, she cancels because she’s been too busy beforehand. When she's the one making arrangements, it’s usually ok and she goes through with it.

If I get back to yesterday and why I’m upset, it was bad enough to cancel, but on such short notice that there’s not enough time to ask someone else, that I’m no longer willing to accept. Even if I give her the benefit of the doubt and she did have back pain, it didn't conveniently just sprang up 4 days after the event. Her back should have hurt on Friday and Saturday, and she could have given me a heads up that she might not have been able to make it. Even yesterday morning might have given me enough time to find someone else. My husband was a good sport and he came with me, but truthfully, it’s not his thing, and I would have preferred to go with someone who would have appreciated it or by myself if no one else was available. He only came because he felt bad the ticket would have gone unused.

Anyway, I’m at the point if I should bother with her anymore. While I do understand the challenges she’s facing, I’m getting tired to be the casualty of her bad planning. We’ve got a trip together in October that we’ve been planning since March, and I think she’ll go through with it. (But it's in the back of my mind that I may end up going with my husband) After that, well, I won’t be inviting her anymore to come out with me. If she wants to do something, I won’t necessarily say no, but I won’t make it a priority either. I mean, how many instances to I need before I realise that out frienship is not that important to her?

What do you think? Am I over-reacting over the whole thing? I appreciate any advice you can provide.

I'm sorry but this sounds like a fair weather friend. I would follow through with the plans that are already in place (if she does) and then leave it up to her. Sorry that you are going through this

[cath007]

A tought I had in my mind and wanted to share here: Fight everyday for all the things acquired and for kept them,it could apply to stuff,work,friend,familly.Dont take things like they are all deserved to you,you have to maintain it.Could be quality of life too.

[SassyAshley]

October Goals:

1 - Complete the bathroom stockpile clean up - This is a carry over from September which I did not get done, my goal is to get this done this week and have it done by the end of the weekend

2 - Finish the basement stockpile - I have a lot of stuff still in bags or boxes that needs to be inventoried and a home found for

3 - Get back to meal planning and more eating at home - Again a carry over, we did good for a bit until I got sick and than everything slide down hill again

There are a few other things I would also like to get done, but do not want to put too much on my plate until I see how well I rebound from my horrible September.

[cath007]

Starving for dinner so a break is needed to kept going up after.

[Caseythegoalie]

Hi Ladies,
I'm trying to stay positive today.
On Saturday I got a call from my Aunt who had breast cancer last year, telling me that her cancer is back, but in her lungs this time, and possible her head.
She starts her treatment today.
The test she did on Thursday to see if it has spread to her head will take 2 business, so there a possibility than we might get the result this evening if not then we'll get it tomorrow.
I'm trying to stay positive, but as it's the second time since last year that she has had cancer, I'm worried.
Did a lot of praying yesterday, I'm doing a lot of praying today.

Sorry to hear this.

[SassyAshley]

I would say follow your plan. I think how she reacts or what she does will tell you a lot. I know how hard it is to lose or feel like you are losing a close friend and yes she has stress in her life but as you mentioned her reasons do not seem to add up. As well I would think with all of this stress and things in life she would appreciate the distraction and a friend's time.

Everyone, it’s my turn to get some advice fro you guys.

Here is the situation. I’ve been friends with this woman for close to 20 years, ever since we met through a local crafting club way back when and we’ve remained friends ever since. She witnessed my life going from being single and poor to being married, and I’ve held her hand as she went through a divorce, a job loss and losing her first parent. Her last life transition has been having her mother with alzheimers come and live with her, along with getting a new job that carries a lot of stress with it. Add to the mix the fact that in the last couple of years, she added three dogs to the menagerie of three cats she already had when she moved in with her mother.

Suffice to say, this lady has a lot of stress in her life, and she doesn’t have the time to devote to me that she used to, which I completely understand under the circumstances. But lately, what’s been getting me upset with her is that twice in the last year, I’ve organized two events, weeks in advance, for which I’ve had to buy tickets for, and she cancels at the last minute. Not a day before, but about two hours before we’re supposed to be meeting. She just calls me up, with what I’m starting to qualify as a flimsy excuses, apologizes and tells me I should turn it into a date with my husband instead. She did this to me last November when I had bought tickets to attend a swanky high tea here in town, a girl event if there ever was one, and again yesterday, where I bought tickets to a lecture on knitting. In November, she complained that she was sick to her stomach and couldn’t possibly be able to eat, but the next time I saw her, she apologized and provided an explanation completely different than what she had told me. Yesterday, she told me it was because she hurt her back while playing golf on Thursday.

Now, again, I understand the stress on her life, and normally, I would understand, but these cancellations coincide with the fact that she committed herself to go out every night in the week before, including Saturday, not leaving herself anytime to rest. Last November, it was the same thing, she had been busy all week. Since then, I’ve been paying closer attention and the pattern has repeated herself over and over. Every time I'm the one making plans, she cancels because she’s been too busy beforehand. When she's the one making arrangements, it’s usually ok and she goes through with it.

If I get back to yesterday and why I’m upset, it was bad enough to cancel, but on such short notice that there’s not enough time to ask someone else, that I’m no longer willing to accept. Even if I give her the benefit of the doubt and she did have back pain, it didn't conveniently just sprang up 4 days after the event. Her back should have hurt on Friday and Saturday, and she could have given me a heads up that she might not have been able to make it. Even yesterday morning might have given me enough time to find someone else. My husband was a good sport and he came with me, but truthfully, it’s not his thing, and I would have preferred to go with someone who would have appreciated it or by myself if no one else was available. He only came because he felt bad the ticket would have gone unused.

Anyway, I’m at the point if I should bother with her anymore. While I do understand the challenges she’s facing, I’m getting tired to be the casualty of her bad planning. We’ve got a trip together in October that we’ve been planning since March, and I think she’ll go through with it. (But it's in the back of my mind that I may end up going with my husband) After that, well, I won’t be inviting her anymore to come out with me. If she wants to do something, I won’t necessarily say no, but I won’t make it a priority either. I mean, how many instances to I need before I realise that out frienship is not that important to her?

What do you think? Am I over-reacting over the whole thing? I appreciate any advice you can provide.

(((hugs))) I am sorry to hear about your Aunt. Hoping you will get some good news today.

Hi Ladies,
I'm trying to stay positive today.
On Saturday I got a call from my Aunt who had breast cancer last year, telling me that her cancer is back, but in her lungs this time, and possible her head.
She starts her treatment today.
The test she did on Thursday to see if it has spread to her head will take 2 business, so there a possibility than we might get the result this evening if not then we'll get it tomorrow.
I'm trying to stay positive, but as it's the second time since last year that she has had cancer, I'm worried.
Did a lot of praying yesterday, I'm doing a lot of praying today.

[lizzie bargain]

Luv to use coupons-sending positive thoughts your way and your aunts way!

Blue eye tea-I think you are absolutely right-she is obviously very busy/stressed at the moment and let her invite you out for a change. You do not want to book your schedule and buy tickets according to her last minute changes in plans.

[lizzie bargain]

Had a super busy week last week between 14 year old at volleyball after school, 10 year old Korean student who has settled in nicely and looking after the 19 month old triplets for 4 days as their nanny was sick! As well I helped my 81 year old Mum get her travel insurance set up as she is going to Spain with her cousin this week-heck I am just glad she is still able to travel. She is in excellent health and through AMA I got her one year of unlimited 30 day trips for about $620 which I thought was reasonable considering her age. So this week I will be catching up and maybe relaxing a bit although tomorrow is 10% Tuesday here! Did manage to have a frugal Sat though-hubby spent $20 in airmiles at Rona buying more stain for our dining chairs that he is refinishing, I put $30 of free gas in the car at Shell and cashed in $50 of SDM points on Saturday bonus redemption using lots of coupons to stretch what I got for free. I like days where I can get $100 worth of free stuff!

[cdngal75]

[QUOTE=blueeyetea;5655474]I really like Harvest the savings.[/QUO

Harvest the savings is a great name.

[cdngal75]

Yep-last years optimum deals.......have been buying the 4/$5 and getting points etc this year...won't be doing the big bars this year for Halloween.......kinda disappointing but meh.

If you gave out full size bars last year, you are going to have people lined up for blocks this year

[cdngal75]

Everyone, it’s my turn to get some advice fro you guys.

Here is the situation. I’ve been friends with this woman for close to 20 years, ever since we met through a local crafting club way back when and we’ve remained friends ever since. She witnessed my life going from being single and poor to being married, and I’ve held her hand as she went through a divorce, a job loss and losing her first parent. Her last life transition has been having her mother with alzheimers come and live with her, along with getting a new job that carries a lot of stress with it. Add to the mix the fact that in the last couple of years, she added three dogs to the menagerie of three cats she already had when she moved in with her mother.

Suffice to say, this lady has a lot of stress in her life, and she doesn’t have the time to devote to me that she used to, which I completely understand under the circumstances. But lately, what’s been getting me upset with her is that twice in the last year, I’ve organized two events, weeks in advance, for which I’ve had to buy tickets for, and she cancels at the last minute. Not a day before, but about two hours before we’re supposed to be meeting. She just calls me up, with what I’m starting to qualify as a flimsy excuses, apologizes and tells me I should turn it into a date with my husband instead. She did this to me last November when I had bought tickets to attend a swanky high tea here in town, a girl event if there ever was one, and again yesterday, where I bought tickets to a lecture on knitting. In November, she complained that she was sick to her stomach and couldn’t possibly be able to eat, but the next time I saw her, she apologized and provided an explanation completely different than what she had told me. Yesterday, she told me it was because she hurt her back while playing golf on Thursday.

Now, again, I understand the stress on her life, and normally, I would understand, but these cancellations coincide with the fact that she committed herself to go out every night in the week before, including Saturday, not leaving herself anytime to rest. Last November, it was the same thing, she had been busy all week. Since then, I’ve been paying closer attention and the pattern has repeated herself over and over. Every time I'm the one making plans, she cancels because she’s been too busy beforehand. When she's the one making arrangements, it’s usually ok and she goes through with it.

If I get back to yesterday and why I’m upset, it was bad enough to cancel, but on such short notice that there’s not enough time to ask someone else, that I’m no longer willing to accept. Even if I give her the benefit of the doubt and she did have back pain, it didn't conveniently just sprang up 4 days after the event. Her back should have hurt on Friday and Saturday, and she could have given me a heads up that she might not have been able to make it. Even yesterday morning might have given me enough time to find someone else. My husband was a good sport and he came with me, but truthfully, it’s not his thing, and I would have preferred to go with someone who would have appreciated it or by myself if no one else was available. He only came because he felt bad the ticket would have gone unused.

Anyway, I’m at the point if I should bother with her anymore. While I do understand the challenges she’s facing, I’m getting tired to be the casualty of her bad planning. We’ve got a trip together in October that we’ve been planning since March, and I think she’ll go through with it. (But it's in the back of my mind that I may end up going with my husband) After that, well, I won’t be inviting her anymore to come out with me. If she wants to do something, I won’t necessarily say no, but I won’t make it a priority either. I mean, how many instances to I need before I realise that out frienship is not that important to her?

What do you think? Am I over-reacting over the whole thing? I appreciate any advice you can provide.

Two things come to mind when reading this. Firstly is she paying you half of the price of these outings? Perhaps she cannot afford to go and cancels last minute rather than tell you up front that she cannot afford to go. Secondly, are the outings you choose activities that she actually enjoys? Maybe she isn't interested and again does not have the courage to tell you and instead agrees to them knowing full well she will cancel on you. If it isn't either of those, maybe she is just someone not to be counted on. I would stop making plans with her. If she wants to do something with her, she can do the planning. Maybe it would be best to confront her about how it makes you feel. She may not realize that it is upsetting you.

[Frugalbigmama]

If you gave out full size bars last year, you are going to have people lined up for blocks this year

LOL It is true! When I 1st moved into my house I wasn't sure how many kids to expect and thought I had enough but ran out. I was digging in my loot bag supplies bin and was handing out nail polish to the little girls. 1 girl that I am now friends with her mom remembers that I'm the nail polish lady and she was only 2 years old that year!! So I always make sure I have something special for her

[jasperandchar]

sorry.. hun.. i was just commenting on blueeyetea's title.. can't take the credit for that..

i haven't done any trades in a long time.. but when i did. always tried to add a few extra.

Best accomplishment so far this month.. putting together 7 gift baskets for under $50. at the most for our families event.

Wow you should be proud 7 baskets for under $50.00 wowzers that remarkable, great job!

[jasperandchar]

when I do a trade -I always add extra coupons -not from their list but the next months expiries -maybe 5.00 to 10.00 extra-I think it is nice to do -nice gesture-I know I appreciate extras-anyway this month in October I am looking forward to being a nana for the very first time -I am glowing 14 days or less -countdown is on

coupon girl I'm sure you have been glowing since you found out your son & dil were pregnant , very exciting news indeed and something to look forward too, you will have to post a picture of your little angel once she arrives.