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Thread: Uncomfortable co-worker

  1. #1
    Canadian Genius wolfwoman's Avatar
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    I am in a spot and need advice. We have a new co-worker and she is really making me uncomfortable. It's hard to explain. 1 of the other girls told me that the new worker was staring at me while we were having a meeting and then later while we were having a conversation, we caught her eavesdropping around a corner. She has only been there 1 day and from the moment I have met her, I have only had really bad vibes about her. Now whether you believe in this stuff or not, I am highly intuitive and I sense that she will be a troublemaker. So how do I deal with this? I can't do to the boss and complain about her as she hasn't done anything wrong. And keep in mind 1 other co-worker has made a coment about her as well. Advice?
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    Mastermind Anna Michele's Avatar
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    maybe she's shy and trying to eavesdrop to find a way into the conversation.
    is anyone making her feel welcome maybe sit with her at lunch and ask her a bunch of questions to get to know her.
    is she a newcomer maybe there's a language barrier?
    it's hard to give advice with out knowing the whole situation ie. age , job description, etc I assume these things are taking place during break either way I think.one day is definitely too soon to draw any conclusions and def too soon to go to the boss about it.
    sadly if it's like a theif vibe ? Or something along those lines you Def have to wait for something to happen unfortunately. until then lock your locker and keep your lunch bag zipped


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    Canadian Genius wolfwoman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Michele View Post
    maybe she's shy and trying to eavesdrop to find a way into the conversation.
    is anyone making her feel welcome maybe sit with her at lunch and ask her a bunch of questions to get to know her.
    is she a newcomer maybe there's a language barrier?
    it's hard to give advice with out knowing the whole situation ie. age , job description, etc I assume these things are taking place during break either way I think.one day is definitely too soon to draw any conclusions and def too soon to go to the boss about it.
    sadly if it's like a theif vibe ? Or something along those lines you Def have to wait for something to happen unfortunately. until then lock your locker and keep your lunch bag zipped


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    She is about 40'ish and not a newcomer. And yes, we have had her sit with us at lunch and coffee breaks. It's really hard to explain. I am just so uncomfortable around her and the " bad seed" vibrations coming off her are so bad that I feel nauseous.
    Has anyone else experienced this before and how did you handle it?
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    Mastermind Shwa Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfwoman View Post
    She is about 40'ish and not a newcomer. And yes, we have had her sit with us at lunch and coffee breaks. It's really hard to explain. I am just so uncomfortable around her and the " bad seed" vibrations coming off her are so bad that I feel nauseous.
    Has anyone else experienced this before and how did you handle it?
    Hey wolfwoman, I feel your pain.
    New coworker in our office. But I knew her before. She came in and threw her weight around.
    Criticized my work and then realized she was jealous since I was written up in the news. Four times in one week.

    I addressed her criticism right away, because, like you, I saw this as a pattern beginning to happen. Told her that I have experience working with the media, that the higher up muckedity mucks all reviewed my news release and approved it. She continued to criticize. So, I invited her to do the news releases from now on. I KNOW she did not want to do this. I also know that she has no experience in this area.

    Each time I pass her in the hall or what not, I say hello. Politely. Professionally. Showing her what I expect from her. Which is also what the company expects from her.

    Hey, your boss knows your work and your achievements. If your instincts are right and she is trouble, she may try to suck up to the boss and gossip negatively about you. Your past achievements will trump her gossip.

    At my work, when the new coworker behaves positively and professionally, I acknowledge it. When she behaves like a snake in the grass, I ignore it.

    Like @Anna Michele , just keep your eyes open, ears listening and mouth closed for a bit, until you see if you are right or wrong about her.

    Good luck!!!

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    Sith Lady and Cool Kid Darth Penguin's Avatar
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    For the moment, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

    However, I may also keep a written journal at home of behaviours that send my SpideySenses into overdrive.


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    Newfiescreech Newfiescreech's Avatar
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    Sometimes we can sense those things ..i do agree with you wolfwoman .. i know at work when someone new starts ..after few hours i can tell if HE or SHE will be trouble or not ..my BOSS say i can read people like a book ..their words and actions normally tells me enough ..I’m normally right all time ..Not sure what you should do really ..seems its only her first day ..i say keep your eyes wide open and ears ..see what happens after week or so .then you just might have take matters in your own hands .just hope its cause she’s a newcomer and everything will be ok after she fells more comfortable
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  7. #7
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    @wolfwoman Hmmm, I say sleep with one eye open, I would most certainly trust those " GUT " feelings you have about her but just don't act out on them in any negative way towards her or react to anything she may attempt to do TO you at work...... that is unless there is a witness present. Even then I'd be cautious as to what her motive is.

    Must be so disconcerting for you having this suspicion about her but having nothing atm to back up those feelings. Hopefully she'll show her cards soon.

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    Mastermind Shwa Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Penguin View Post
    For the moment, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

    However, I may also keep a written journal at home of behaviours that send my SpideySenses into overdrive.
    Good idea about keeping a written record, just in case.
    One past coworker was so bad (deceptive, untrustworthy, unreliable, not meeting targets, disappointing customers etc), every time we met and decided to work on project x, y or z, I would e-mail a summary of our meeting and next steps.

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    Canadian Genius wolfwoman's Avatar
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    So this new girl causing me so much stress. I have been lucky so far and been able to avoid interacting with her but I have had to go back and clean up her messes twice already. I have only so much time allotted for my work and by having to go back to fix her mistakes, my time has been screwed up. I did have to speak to her once before my last shift ended and although it was only 1 sentence, it made me physically sick. I was shaking and nauseous. Another coworker saw this and made me sit down as she thought I was going to pass out. Now looking at my schedule, I see that I am supposed to work with her alone. What do I do? Pull a fast one and call in sick? No, can't do that to the manager. Try to trade shifts? Maybe. Talk to management? Scared to as I have only been there 6 months and don't want to pull a diva moment. Sigh.
    Just call me Wolfie

  10. #10
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfwoman View Post
    So this new girl causing me so much stress. I have been lucky so far and been able to avoid interacting with her but I have had to go back and clean up her messes twice already. I have only so much time allotted for my work and by having to go back to fix her mistakes, my time has been screwed up. I did have to speak to her once before my last shift ended and although it was only 1 sentence, it made me physically sick. I was shaking and nauseous. Another coworker saw this and made me sit down as she thought I was going to pass out. Now looking at my schedule, I see that I am supposed to work with her alone. What do I do? Pull a fast one and call in sick? No, can't do that to the manager. Try to trade shifts? Maybe. Talk to management? Scared to as I have only been there 6 months and don't want to pull a diva moment. Sigh.
    @wolfwoman , you cannot put a price on your physical and mental well being. If the coworker is causing you this much distress, regardless of how long you or the coworker has been with the company, you absolutely have the right to bring the concern up with management.

    Your manager has a duty to listen to your concerns and to move your concerns and comments up the proper chain of command.

    My suggestion is to be as open and honest with your manager as you are comfortable (I'm not sure what kind of relationship you've developed with him/her). Have a conversation with them, voicing your concerns while not unduly attacking the coworkers performance/behaviour, but at the same time getting your point across that there is an issue with how their performance and demeanor is affecting you.

    I hope there's something in what I've said that'll be of some help friend.
    Thank you for keeping us in the loop and reaching out. We're all here for you.
    DANGER

  11. #11
    Mastermind Shwa Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfwoman View Post
    So this new girl causing me so much stress. I have been lucky so far and been able to avoid interacting with her but I have had to go back and clean up her messes twice already. I have only so much time allotted for my work and by having to go back to fix her mistakes, my time has been screwed up. I did have to speak to her once before my last shift ended and although it was only 1 sentence, it made me physically sick. I was shaking and nauseous. Another coworker saw this and made me sit down as she thought I was going to pass out. Now looking at my schedule, I see that I am supposed to work with her alone. What do I do? Pull a fast one and call in sick? No, can't do that to the manager. Try to trade shifts? Maybe. Talk to management? Scared to as I have only been there 6 months and don't want to pull a diva moment. Sigh.
    I agree with @danger_dan suggestion

    Another story that might help: I was the noobie this time. The person who was to show me what to do, avoided me but had time for her friends. I tried to explain to her that I wanted to learn and wanted to help her. She said right out that she did not need anyone and that no one should have been hired to work with her. Instead of going to the boss about her, at my next manager-new employee meeting, I said that I was disappointed with my progress and I thought I would have learned more and be contributing more, by this time. Manager saw through that and spoke with the person who was to show me what to do. So, a little while later, the person who was showing me what to do, quit! Left the company! None of the more senior people wanted the job. Guess who got it? Me.

    Maybe you could let your manager know that you had hoped to complete all your work tasks every day but had added work that prevented this happening. Tell the manager that you had to make corrections to her work. Tell the manager you were trying to help her. And, if you feel up to it, tell the manager about your assessment of her.

    Good luck!
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  12. #12
    Smart Canuck MillieH's Avatar
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    I think you need to approach this from a logical viewpoint as well. Someone who has been been on the job two weeks may run into issues no matter their experience or competence. While you need to explain to your supervisor that you only have time to do your allotted work and anything beyond that is stressing you. You need to appear to be working toward a common goal. If speaking one sentence to her makes you ill, you either have the choice of refusing to work shifts with her or quit.

    She hasn't done anything at this point to cause her to be fired. She may never do anything. It's important to express your needs and concerns but also be seen as a team player working toward a common goal.
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    Canadian Genius wolfwoman's Avatar
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    Update: the boss got tired of her messing up too much and being no-shows for her shifts. So she is gone, goodbye, FIRED! And since this happened, my anxiety has dissipated and my spidey sense has calmed down. And the whole place is calmer and fun again. 3 new girls start tomorrow but I have 2 days off thank goodness lol
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  14. #14
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfwoman View Post
    Update: the boss got tired of her messing up too much and being no-shows for her shifts. So she is gone, goodbye, FIRED! And since this happened, my anxiety has dissipated and my spidey sense has calmed down. And the whole place is calmer and fun again. 3 new girls start tomorrow but I have 2 days off thank goodness lol
    Sometime, things just work out for everyone.
    Glad you have some time off. Rest up and relax!
    Hopefully the three new ladies will work out better for everyone at the office.
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