INTIMACY, after the kids.....Is it POSSIBLE?

[Darth Penguin]

If he starts bringing the kitchen knife in.......he's not called Norman is he??????

[DianneS]

Every time this thread pops up I think "I shouldn't reply....they're talking about babies and toddlers". But tonight I can't resist. If you think it's bad now, wait until they are teenagers. They're always awake, up and about! Yikes!!!

[GeorgiaK]

Every time this thread pops up I think "I shouldn't reply....they're talking about babies and toddlers". But tonight I can't resist. If you think it's bad now, wait until they are teenagers. They're always awake, up and about! Yikes!!!

NEEDED THAT

[Zonny]

I've not really seen this mentioned here. But what if you don't really want it anymore after having a child?

I have to wonder, is something wrong with me? I used to want sex very regularly, but since being a parent, that desire is gone downhill. And it's only me, not DH. And yes, I'm blushing to post this.

[Darth Penguin]

sexual desire waxes and wanes over your life. If you are tired raising a family or working it's hard to have another pressure on your energy and time.

We went though a long drought in desire after DS was born. we talked and meh! we had pity sex and meh!. We then stopped that and went for learning about each other again. Our wants, our thoughts all the stuff we talked about before we became lovers.

Reconnecting with those things we were attracted too in each other meant that the whole sex thing was put back into perspective as part of a rich relationship and not the be-all-and-end-all of it.

date nights shouldn't be about pressure to be young and beautiful. it's about connecting and re-inforcing the good things about your relationship and eventually, hopefully the desire to be physically intimate is back.

The brain is the biggest and best sexual organ. the interlocking parts need a push at times.

[GeorgiaK]

You are not the only one, DH and I have had our relationship go south since DS was born 16 months ago. It is very tough trying to deal with a new schedule, new routine, learning an alien being's (sorry, I mean the bundle of joy) habits and moods. Throw in dealing with hormones, pain and sleep deprivation and sex drive goes "BYE BYE". Let me tell you, I have no more patience for all that let's get in the mood stuff. I am hoping the downhill slide is just a temporary thing and will get better as DS gets older.

[Darth Penguin]

IME,it does..otherwise we wouldn't have had no 2 never mind no 3.

It's hard and there's times when a convent makes sense but if both of you are commited to each other and really want to make a go of it, then you bite the bullet and re-make your relationship . A good marriage/relationship depends on re-making the realtionship with every change good or bad.

Mature adults adapt and grow. Nad their relationships do too.

[MissyBC]

Keep the spark alive. Let your partner know you still dig him or her. INITIATE SEX whenever you have the opportunity or even just a kiss on the cheek is nice!

[nadiabreckon]

sexual desire waxes and wanes over your life. If you are tired raising a family or working it's hard to have another pressure on your energy and time.

We went though a long drought in desire after DS was born. we talked and meh! we had pity sex and meh!. We then stopped that and went for learning about each other again. Our wants, our thoughts all the stuff we talked about before we became lovers.

Reconnecting with those things we were attracted too in each other meant that the whole sex thing was put back into perspective as part of a rich relationship and not the be-all-and-end-all of it.

date nights shouldn't be about pressure to be young and beautiful. it's about connecting and re-inforcing the good things about your relationship and eventually, hopefully the desire to be physically intimate is back.

The brain is the biggest and best sexual organ. the interlocking parts need a push at times.

I think this sums it all!
I, for one, don't have much desire to perform the deed... However, I have my fantasies which I have never spoke to hubby about...I have been talking with a friend of mine, and she suggested when hubby comes back, to go out and we can talk about them and hopefully rekindle the spark in our lives! We had DS 3 years ago, so it's not like we can use a newborn as an excuse anymore...lol...
Anyway, yeah...that's my story!

[kelly25]

I went through the same thing when I had the boys! We had them 13 months apart so it felt like 2 babies at the same time. Losing my sexual appetite came along with the stitches for me, but DH no matter how busy or tired he never lost any interest in sex.

It is very important to him so we created a ``sex`` rule to keep us both satisfied! The fact was that if we let life take its coarse we might never take time for intimacy for it fell at the bottom of our (my) priority list. A minimum of x times per week worked great for us, this was respected on both ends (no pun intended ..lol)

We still follow that rule but its now effortless, we’ve not once in 9 years had a ``dry`` spell thanks to this system. Sometimes we even go beyond the x number!! DH likes to point out helping out around the house as ``accumulating points`` for extras.. lol

[Khaight]

This is my biggest fear after becoming pregnant with my first child! However I had to share this video with all of you:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LkEVVtm39b0

[vlindal]

sexual desire waxes and wanes over your life. If you are tired raising a family or working it's hard to have another pressure on your energy and time.

We went though a long drought in desire after DS was born. we talked and meh! we had pity sex and meh!. We then stopped that and went for learning about each other again. Our wants, our thoughts all the stuff we talked about before we became lovers.

Reconnecting with those things we were attracted too in each other meant that the whole sex thing was put back into perspective as part of a rich relationship and not the be-all-and-end-all of it.

date nights shouldn't be about pressure to be young and beautiful. it's about connecting and re-inforcing the good things about your relationship and eventually, hopefully the desire to be physically intimate is back.

The brain is the biggest and best sexual organ. the interlocking parts need a push at times.