INTIMACY, after the kids.....Is it POSSIBLE?

[funn2009]

HELP!!!!

We are losing ourselves in PARENTHOOD!

SEX? WHAT IS THAT?

Between, parenthood, work, the house and everything else....We have forgotten about US.

HELP!!!!

[froggiestyle]

MANY MANY MANY moms and dad are in the same boat, including me
Ive been told,
Make a date night
Have quickies (lol)
Kisses everyday, passing the kitchen, hallway etc, a quick smooch works wonders
I used to leave notes on his wallet or at the front door, just saying love ya, missya and thanks for (could be anything small to large, just shows appreciation)
If no sitters, gotta start having alone time as soon as kids get to be because if you leave it, you'll be tired and fall asleep.
Watch a movie, cuddle etc
Its all about making time inbetween all these adult responsibilties
Its hard, sometimes it wont work out and sometimes it will. Just cant get frustrated and disappointed if your date night doesnt work for some reason
I feel your pain on this subject, being a parent is hard, being an adult is hard, spending one on one time with spouse is hard and it shouldnt be hang in there

[funn2009]

THANKS!!!

Needed this.

Frustrated isn't the word.

I knew it would be different once we had a child...no regrets.

Just wish we didn't lose US.

We basically only talk around the 1st of each month, bills, bills and BILLS.

Other than that we barely utter a word to one another.

Sad....

I have suggested a DATE, but whenever we were supposed to have one SOMETHING always got in the way. Besides...I would probably be preparing the week's schedule in my head the whole time.

I thank you Froggy for the advice and will truly NOT give up!!!!

I am on a MISSION to get my SEX LIFE BACK!!!!

[rachel1496]

THANKS!!!

Needed this.

Frustrated isn't the word.

I knew it would be different once we had a child...no regrets.

Just wish we didn't lose US.

We basically only talk around the 1st of each month, bills, bills and BILLS.

Other than that we barely utter a word to one another.

Sad....

I have suggested a DATE, but whenever we were supposed to have one SOMETHING always got in the way. Besides...I would probably be preparing the week's schedule in my head the whole time.

I thank you Froggy for the advice and will truly NOT give up!!!!

I am on a MISSION to get my SEX LIFE BACK!!!!

We try to do date night once a week but I don't have a lot of people that I trust with my son so if we don't have a sitter we do it at home. It's usually just take-out and Blockbuster after the baby is in bed but it works for now.

[funn2009]

I wish we could have date night after my son got to bed...but he's a Night Owl and tends to get to bed around 11pm - 1am (without any napping) depending on his day.
So by the time he's asleep so am I.
LOL

[rachel1496]

I wish we could have date night after my son got to bed...but he's a Night Owl and tends to get to bed around 11pm - 1am (without any napping) depending on his day.
So by the time he's asleep so am I.
LOL

Ouch. I have to admit, I'd be crying if C was a night owl. I live for the 2.5 hours I get between his bedtime and mine.

[prince$$]

We have 3 daughters from under a year up to 8. We don't really have a problem balancing parenthood with a good sex life. Spontaneity is key. We tried the date night thing, and found it to be kind of like an added pressure. Now, and this may be TMI but many friends have found it useful, we just do it whenever the feeling strikes. If that's in the middle of the night and he's asleep, nothing will put a smile on his face like some sneaky oral sex. Another thing we do once in a while is take a trip to the Stag Shop (if you're brave enough, go alone and surprise him later....no one will look at you like a pervert in there, I swear). If you enjoy , order a late night PPV. There's a million little things that can give some oomph to a sex rut.

Another thing, and I don't mean to imply anything about you, but I have a few friends who let themself go after kids. Now, I realize not everyone's body bounces back after babies, and that's not what I'm talking about. I mean letting yourself go in terms of not doing your hair/makeup, living in sweatpants kind of way. You'd be surprised how powerful you'll feel with some lipgloss and mascara. Throw in some perfume and sexy lingerie and you're ready to pounce (or be pounced on).

Bottomline for us is sex is amazing and we love it....It doesn't make our relationship, but it's definitely a very important part and we embrace it as often as possible.

[froggiestyle]

We have 3 daughters from under a year up to 8. We don't really have a problem balancing parenthood with a good sex life. Spontaneity is key. We tried the date night thing, and found it to be kind of like an added pressure. Now, and this may be TMI but many friends have found it useful, we just do it whenever the feeling strikes. If that's in the middle of the night and he's asleep, nothing will put a smile on his face like some sneaky oral sex. Another thing we do once in a while is take a trip to the Stag Shop (if you're brave enough, go alone and surprise him later....no one will look at you like a pervert in there, I swear). If you enjoy , order a late night PPV. There's a million little things that can give some oomph to a sex rut.

Another thing, and I don't mean to imply anything about you, but I have a few friends who let themself go after kids. Now, I realize not everyone's body bounces back after babies, and that's not what I'm talking about. I mean letting yourself go in terms of not doing your hair/makeup, living in sweatpants kind of way. You'd be surprised how powerful you'll feel with some lipgloss and mascara. Throw in some perfume and sexy lingerie and you're ready to pounce (or be pounced on).

Bottomline for us is sex is amazing and we love it....It doesn't make our relationship, but it's definitely a very important part and we embrace it as often as possible.

[karalin9]

Believe it or not, our sex life is better now than before our daughter was born. I don't really know what our trick is, other than being creative with time. We rarely get it on (lol!) at night because we're exhausted... instead, nap times and early morning before the baby wakes up seem to be the most common times.

I'm not back at work yet, but once I am, we're going back to having a date night every week and dropping the little one off at her Grandma's.

You just have to make time specifically for sex, as unromantic as it is, you gotta do what you gotta do!

[prince$$]

LOL @ Froggiestyle!

[froggiestyle]

[funn2009]

LMAO...
Maybe we should try Froggystyle for real and HOP IT IT!

I have to admit...yes I have let myself go ....but there is sooo much more to my story and the reason I havent been able to keep up with the whole makeup and beauty regime.

I manage a home as well as my 31/2 year old...I am trying to start a business for me and my Mom who had brain surgery in 2005 and cant work fulltime.
i also sell online and in person, various items to help with the home income.
My "hubby" travels ALOT and resides in Ontario 65% of the time. He isnt too thrilled with the whole French thing and I can't take the whole Big city idea. Before we had our son...the long distance idea was GRAND. It gave us time to miss eachother after being together for 15 years. Now, not so much. Would rather him home here more often.
Our lifestyles, YES there is an "s" there, are VERY different.
I am first and foremost a Mother....
Daddy is somewhat a bachelor in that he doesn't take part in our son's regular routines like school and play-dates. He is free to go and do what he wishes, when he wishes. I really believe at times that he is slightly jealous of our son, because He (dad) isnt getting my FULL attention anymore.


I miss those FREAKY days when we'd just take a drive ANYWHERE...pull over in a corn field and get it on.
Or just book a weekend in a hotel and pamper ourselves.
I don't have anyone to keep my son over-night so a Couple's vacation is out of the question.

I have truly decided to make a change this year.

[froggiestyle]

[rachel1496]

Believe it or not, our sex life is better now than before our daughter was born. I don't really know what our trick is, other than being creative with time. We rarely get it on (lol!) at night because we're exhausted... instead, nap times and early morning before the baby wakes up seem to be the most common times.

I'm not back at work yet, but once I am, we're going back to having a date night every week and dropping the little one off at her Grandma's.

You just have to make time specifically for sex, as unromantic as it is, you gotta do what you gotta do!

TMI time. Ours is too but that has a lot to do with the fact that D's recovery from his surgery is complete and he's not in pain anymore. We used to joke that C was an immaculate conception because there wasn't a whole lot of sex going on last August.

I will admit, I have actually scheduled sex if I felt like we needed it.

Funn2009, if you're looking for something to keep the spark going while you're separated all I will say is a little "suggestive" text messaging never hurt anyone.

[funn2009]

TMI time. Ours is too but that has a lot to do with the fact that D's recovery from his surgery is complete and he's not in pain anymore. We used to joke that C was an immaculate conception because there wasn't a whole lot of sex going on last August.

I will admit, I have actually scheduled sex if I felt like we needed it.

Funn2009, if you're looking for something to keep the spark going while you're separated all I will say is a little "suggestive" text messaging never hurt anyone.

Oh I did the text messaging and the whole sending of photos.....then He LEFT his phone one day...and I received texts from SOMEONE else stating NICE STUFF!!!.
That text came in while He was WITH ME!!!!!!!! Then and only then did he realize he left his phone. Up till now I have no clue as to which of his buddies..if not all...saw my STUFF. (boobs, butt and short and curlies)