Points And Prizes - Sheknows

[newsnakeowner1978]

Gm everyone be back ina little while getting better... Here's a good one for ya...

$7 SEX

A Florida couple, both well
into their 80s, go to a sex
therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can
I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you
watch us have sexual
intercourse?'
The doctor raises both
eyebrows,
but he is so amazed that
such an elderly couple is
asking for sexual
advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes,
the doctor says, 'There's
absolutely nothing wrong
with the way you have
intercourse.'
He thanks them for coming,
he wishes them good luck,
he charges them $50 and he
says good bye.
The next week, the same
couple returns and asks
the sex therapist to watch
again.
The sex therapist is a bit
puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks
in a row.
The couple makes an appointment ,
has intercourse with no problems,
pays the doctor, then leave..
Finally, after 3 months of this
routine, the doctor says,
'I'm sorry, but I have to ask.
Just what are you trying to
find out?'
The man says, 'We're not
trying to find out anything.
She's married; so we can't
go to her house.
I'm married; and we can't
go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $98.
The Hilton charges $139.
We do it here for $50, and
Medicare pays $43 of it,
leaving my net cost of $7.

omfg.hahaha. gross and funny as hell

Well,

Snake.. this is just a regular appointment, right? The earliest you can hear the heartbeat on the doppler (That thing that they put lubricant on and place on wifey's belly) is about 10 weeks. BUT that depends on a lot of things. If she is pretty skinny in the belly area, you should be able to hear it.. but if not, that extra layer can keep you from hearing it till around 14 weeks.

Here's the thing.. It sounds like this is your first doctor's appointment. I wouldn't take your older girl if that is the case. For a few reasons. #1, you might not be able to hear the heartbeat, and that might actually upset her. She can't really tell her Mom is pregnant yet, since she's probably not showing much, and it might make her nervous if the doctor cannot find the HB. #2.. you haven't seen a doctor yet.. Honestly, even at 11 weeks, there can be things wrong that you don't know about (PROBABLY NOT) and you wouldn't want to make her upset if something turned out to be wrong. Better to wait until the next appointment to take her along, then she can definately hear a heartbeat, and most likely the doctor won't say anything that could even mildly make her worry.
She's probably super excited about having a sibling, better to wait till you know she can have a great experience. Just don't tell her if you get to hear the heartbeat first

Congratulations again by the way! We are gonna have a baby-photo filled summer/fall around here

tyvm appreciate it more then u can imagine.

why?!?!

BECAUSE. fer starters NS is a bad influence.

[roseofblack25]

haha the $7 sex thing is funny!

yep lets blame NS again hehe

[amycrows]

Sorry I should have explained myself better. I am not a vegetarian but I do not eat in most restaurants as it is not kosher/halal. I also do not eat certain ingredients derived from animals like rennet, gelatin unless it is from a kosher/halal source (like they make gelatin from fish which is fine). No alcohol either...I know most of you must think crazy stuff, but it is actually quite simple...no fast food for the most part which is healthier for me, I cook it all at home so I know what is in my burger or pizza

[S J]

Sorry I should have explained myself better. I am not a vegetarian but I do not eat in most restaurants as it is not kosher/halal. I also do not eat certain ingredients derived from animals like rennet, gelatin unless it is from a kosher/halal source (like they make gelatin from fish which is fine). No alcohol either...I know most of you must think crazy stuff, but it is actually quite simple...no fast food for the most part which is healthier for me, I cook it all at home so I know what is in my burger or pizza

you shattered my dream ! but thats ok ppl were getting anxious about me trying to post veggie recipes!

[newsnakeowner1978]

yep lets blame NS again hehe

lol of course. who else would we blame for losing our "INNOCENCE"

[haunish]

I'm with Amy its better and I think for the most part somedays safer not to eat at restaurants. We rarely eat out and I mean rarely..even for valentines we stayed in adn made a awesome meal together..
Plus when you make things at home i think in the end it just tastes better

[kekes]

Im an old fashioned, from scratch, I can tell you what canned foods I buy - there are so few! lol
I do my own canning (chicken, stews, chili, kidney beans, all beans! (luv beans) jams, maralades, tomato everything! lol, my own baking, buy chickens, flax seed, buckwheat and honey direct from farmers (less processing the better!)
I had two friends of different ethnic and religous backgrounds (years ago when I was young thing! lol) one ate no pork and one didn't eat beef, so I luv poultry ... I eat some meat but not much and not often (that's for dh ... can't remember the last time I had steak (maybe 2 yrs ago??? had 2 roast sandwiches this month, first time this year), eat tons of chicken, luv ethnic foods, curries and whatnot ... luv trying new foods for my palate! LUV fish but too much $$$$
how the heck did I get started on this???????? ROFL

[kekes]

lol of course. who else would we blame for losing our "INNOCENCE"

Snake Innocent???? Ok who are you stealing Snake's ID!

[kekes]

Good morning everyone.

Is it wrong for me to be craving a hotdog at 9.30 in the morning? No I am not pregnant, just drooling at the thought of a hotdog...so I am making one

That's so funny Amy! ... that's supper in this house tonight, craving hot dog with cooked onion, relish, bacon, cheese and a deli dog!

[haunish]

gosh I cant even think of the last time I ate a hot dog..I have been cooking aton of chicken, i buy salmon and we do alot of fishing in fishing season here so we eat lots of fish..yum

[Purple_Everything]

COTTON for 150 points! EXPIRES ON 04/12/09

[kekes]

so we eat lots of fish..yum

Im so jealous!!!! I want to try canning fish ... mom has couple sturgeons in the freezer (salmon family)

Oh Canadian Living Cooks made veggie burgers this a.m. with kidney beans, now if I can just the recipe on the Food Network site!

[roseofblack25]

lol i eat basically chicken and fish...not big on red meat at all sometimes eat burgers though usually crave one around that time of the month cause i end up anemic LOL and if i dont i try to force myself to eat one

[firefly]

contest words...100 pts...exp 05/03/09:

cougar
nature
haveyouheard
snoopy
notthelife
notmymom
adventure
bestyears
pottytrain
hotel4dogs

[thetick]

thanks for the words!