Some Advice Needed Please

[Myslynn]

I need some advice on what to do in my current situation. Any advice would be helpful.

I was speaking to a close friend on the phone yesterday and she said a girl she has met in another building is working for my old employer.
I thought "cool".
When my friend mentioned that her close friend (me) also worked for this employer last year, the girl said "Ya, I heard about her and (another employee), they got fired for stealing and screwing with the companies profits".



Well my friend told her, she has known me for over 10 years and that is not in my character, and she must have been misinformed.

Well, I have kept in touch periodically with my old boss, he always said if anything ever came up, would I be interested in parttime work etc. I always had a good relationship with him, it was just seasonal and I needed more hours. So I gave my 2 weeks notice and off I went to my new job.
He and I have spoke many times after this and he has always said to please use him as a referance and always said how great of a worker I was.

Now his girlfriend (who trained me, and tried to be my "bestie") is a different story all together! I know it was her that is saying these things. This is a company that I was with when it was a seedling, and now they are a household name across Ontario.
His GF, was always very chipper with me, and very nice etc. But she was getting to be a little clingy and pushing all her workload onto myself and the other employee. She even hung up the phone once after saying "Love you!" I was a little weirded out about this .
I worked from home, but she was asking me more and more to come over to her house to work, and the idea behind me working from home was to not have to get a sitter and NOT leave the house....so I put a standstill on our "get togethers" as they were costing me gas and babysitting. And it was not manditory--she just wanted to "hang out".

So, I guess what I am getting at is, I really want to contact him and tell him what is going on, and I don't appreciate my name being slandered and my character being comprimised. But this is his GF. Anytime I would say or hint at anything in the past about work and her, it would get brushed off.
Infact, she once lied about something and I confronted her and him on the issue (I was so upset I was crying due to him accusing me of something she told him I did, when in reality it was her, but she didn't want to take the blame). It was something trivial, but this spurred a downward spiral of hers and my working relationship. And he just told me to drop it, it was "no biggie" (well it is to me if I am being accused of something I never did!).

The biggest thing for me is, my city is huge, and if a CLOSE friend of mine can interact with ONE person and hear something like that directly (not even passed on information aka the telephone game), how many other people have heard this about me-without even knowing me!

Should I just let it go?
Or should I let him know that I do not appreciate this--but it could get back to the "new" girl and that could stir things up between my close friend and this new friend.

It is really making my blood boil, but more so-the thought of this vial "woman" (and I use the term woman loosely) making up stories about me and saying them to the new employees (and God knows who else!). Makes me really think long and hard about all the crap she told me about others, when I worked there.

[mle]

Oh man, that must be a tough situation to be in.

Now while I would first say to go ahead and confront her (I'd high five her in the face LOL), after thinking I really don't know if that's the solution. First off, confrontation will ruin your ties with your boss. If this is really an important reference on your resume aside from a friend I wouldn't say that this was worth the risk. And, depending on the character of his girlfriend, she might not stop but exagerate the confrontation and spread that around too.

But I totally understand that it bothers you and can totally ruin your reputation. Perhaps sending a a polite letter to your boss, or even better directly to his girlfriend might help. I think you just have to make sure to avoid accusing her of doing so and maybe just mention not appreciating the rumours coming out of the office, whoever it is that may be spreading them.

I don't really know because I don't know how these people will react.. just my $0.02. Best of luck!

[miztia]

I would have a friend call there and ask for a job reference on your behalf. If it is your old boss that answers, and he gives a good one, I would drop the whole thing. Who cares what some GF thinks, obviously she's got too much spare time.
Or if you still want to do something about it, you could always ask your old boss casually next time you see him, to please clear the rumors up. I wouldnt accuse his GF, because I think he would steer clear of getting in between your differences and it will get you nowhere, but very casually mention what you heard, and it would be uncomfortable to come back to work there (even if you have no intentions of doing so) if people think you steal.
If he does bring the subject up, hearing it from the boss that that isnt the reason why you left, will just make the original story teller look like an ass.

[Eeyah]

I would talk to him, but bring it up much more casually - like "hey I heard this crazy rumour about me....do you know where something like this could have come from? is it possible that they are mixing me up with another employee?" That's what I would say, and keep it as casual as possible that way nothing gets too out of hand

[Eeyah]

OHHHH I like Miztia's idea of calling for a reference....I'd do that first That would hopefully give you either the peace of mind OR ammo

[Myslynn]

LMAO! High five her in the face! That's gold!

I wish I could, but I never would. I didn't even think of the backlash it would create and more lies it would stir up.
I thought about a reasonable letter stating I don't appreciate yaddy yadda.....but now I think (being the person she is), she would STILL create more unneccessary drama and lies.
I never once gave her any reason to dislike me---EXCEPT the fact that I shyed away from her uncomfortable advances of being her best friend. To me, it was work and she was the boss' gf. She wanted more and I didn't give it to her.
That is the only reason, other than her being completely crazy, I can think of as to why she was/has been acting like a loonytoon.
It's a shame too, because the boss is a nice person--to me, she just seems like one of those "mean girls" you hated in high school.

She was even lying to him...when I would go over to their house, she would wait for him to leave then would break out her ciggarettes and say "Thank God he left, I needed one of these for EVER!" He didn't know she smoked or drank (He is a recovering alcholic and doing great in the community as a sponsor to many).
Yes, some may say, she is good for not bringing it around him, but I view it as dishonest--only because she has shown me personally, that "dishonest" is all she can be.

I thought, when I left there, I would be done with her for good and never have to deal with her insercurities and lies anymore. Clearly not the case.
It has been almost a year for crying out loud! And this new girl started there approx 5 months ago. So even 6 months AFTER I quit, she is still going on with this lie. And lord knows how many people she told it to.

Ugh, stress stress stress.

[Myslynn]

And just a sidenote**

I worked from home---there is NOTHING I could "steal". I thought this part to be particularly funny. I used all my own items-computer, phone, pens, paper etc.

The new girl should have caught on to this one, seeing as she is now doing the same job.

I guess I stole her heart and ran away with it! Weirdo.

[Lynn49]

Personally?

I would call my former boss and let him know what his little squeeze is saying about me and tell him that if she doesn't stop I'll be charging her with slander.
What the h*ll do I care about their stupid relationship??!!!

It would go something like this:
"Hello, (former boss)...yes...everything's fine, yes...lovely weather...But here's why I called: Your little girlfriend, (insert name of dame here) has been spreading lies about be and telling everyone who will listen to her that I was let go from your firm for stealing. Yes, REALLY. Now you tell her she has two choices: she can tell everyone that she's retracting her statement and shutting up about it from now on , OR she can continue babbling her lies and be charged with slander. Thank you. Have a nce day."

See?
Easy peasy!

Our reputations?! It's who we are!
I'll be da**ed if I ever let anyone get away with
slander!!

[GoddessDigi]

I like Lynn's idea!
If you don't stick up to people like these, their lies get bigger and can affect you even more.
Trust me, I speak from experience here (recent, too).

[improperganda]

Seriously you should ask him about this. Its good to get everything in emails so you have proof if anything comes up in the future.

[Sally888]

I would inform him and let them know that you will consider a slander suit should this continue. Not cool.

[Natalka]

Personally?

I would call my former boss and let him know what his little squeeze is saying about me and tell him that if she doesn't stop I'll be charging her with slander.
What the h*ll do I care about their stupid relationship??!!!

It would go something like this:
"Hello, (former boss)...yes...everything's fine, yes...lovely weather...But here's why I called: Your little girlfriend, (insert name of dame here) has been spreading lies about be and telling everyone who will listen to her that I was let go from your firm for stealing. Yes, REALLY. Now you tell her she has two choices: she can tell everyone that she's retracting her statement and shutting up about it from now on , OR she can continue babbling her lies and be charged with slander. Thank you. Have a nce day."

See?
Easy peasy!

Our reputations?! It's who we are!
I'll be da**ed if I ever let anyone get away with
slander!!

Wow, if you have the guts to do this, this is definitely the way to go.

[lekate]

I would inform him and let them know that you will consider a slander suit should this continue. Not cool.

I would do the same. Not cool.

[Lynn49]

“It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it”
Benjamin Franklin

[April07]

I have not read all the responses so if this is a repeat sorry.

I would call him and talk to him and tell him what ou have heard and how you feel about it. Do not accuse his GF but ask him to ask her if she has heard anyone talking about you like that ( round about way of getting at the info, may or may not work ).

I would sure let him know how upset you are that this is coming from a new girl that works for him who doesn't even know you.