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Thread: A few LOLS for you.....

  1. #24091
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  3. #24093
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  5. #24095
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redneck Charger View Post
    I think this is a myth...Personally I have never come across anyone that has taken offense to a mother breast feeding her child. It is obviously more common in some cultures/countries than other, just like strapping you child to your back as opposed to the front. This is one of those sensationalism stories

    I mean who are the people complaining....other women, or men?

  6. #24096
    Luv Saving People Money MortgageQueen's Avatar
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    Oldie, but goodie. . .





    Bud the Cowboy


    A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Alberta when, out of a cloud of dust, a brand-new BMW suddenly advanced toward him.


    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked Bud, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"


    Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"


    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.


    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.


    Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."


    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.


    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.


    Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"


    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"


    "You're a Member of Parliament for the Canadian Government," says Bud.


    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"


    "No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter you are than me. You don't know the first thing about how working people make a living - or anything about cows for that matter. For your information, this is a herd of sheep."


    "Now, give me back my dog."


    AND THAT, IN A NUTSHELL, IS WHAT OUR PROBLEM IS TODAY!!
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  7. #24097
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  8. #24098
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  9. #24099
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    What exactly is WD-40? Can this be true????



    No Cheating.....WD-40 ~ Who knew!

    I had a neighbor who bought a new pickup. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray- painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason).

    I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news. He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do....probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open.

    Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck. I was impressed!
    WD-40 who knew?

    "Water Displacement #40".
    The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953, by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'Water Displacement' Compound. They were finally successful for a formulation, with their 40th attempt, thus WD-40.

    The 'Convair Company' bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you. When you read the 'shower door' part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as on glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your stove-top. It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed at the 43 uses of:

    WD-40
    1. Protects silver from tarnishing.
    2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
    3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
    4. Gives floor that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.
    5. Keeps the flies off of Cows, Horses, and other Farm Critters, as well. (Ya gotta love this one!!!)
    6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.
    7. Removes lipstick stains.
    8. Loosens stubborn zippers.
    9. Untangles jewelry chains.
    10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
    11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
    12. Keeps ceramic / terracotta garden pots from oxidizing.
    13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.
    14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
    15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
    16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
    17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on both home and vehicles doors.
    18. It removes that nasty tar and scuff marks from the kitchen flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
    19. Remove those nasty Bug guts that will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly!
    20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
    21. Lubricates gearshift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers...
    22. Rids kids rocking chair and swings of squeaky noises.
    23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
    24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
    25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
    26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
    27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
    28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
    29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
    30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
    31. Removes grease splatters from stove-tops.
    32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
    33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
    34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
    35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
    36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
    37. Florida's favorite use is: 'cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.'
    38. The favorite use in the state of New York, it protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
    39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
    40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
    41. It is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray it on the marks and wipe with a clean rag.
    42. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
    43. If you spray it inside a wet distributor cap, it will displace the moisture, allowing the engine to start.

    p.s.
    As for that Basic, Main Ingredient.......Well.... it's FISH OIL....

    ​Who knew . . .?
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  10. #24100
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  11. #24101
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    Vaseline and the slippery squirrel


    http://safeshare.tv/w/NOZOjdApvG
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  12. #24102
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  14. #24104
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  15. #24105
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    A NEW PHRASE IS BORN


    Electile Dysfunction :


    The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for PRIME MINISTER put forth by any party in the 2015 election year.

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