Chat-A-Thon Thread

[LuvToUseCoupons]

Hi Ladies.. I don't usually come over to the tea room or the general threads, but feeling a little "off" today. I had some surprising news today, apparently, I have a brother!

My Mom has kept this secret for 52 years and was just contacted this past week from her son, which in itself, I think is great. I can't understand why she would have kept this secret, she said partially from embarassment, and partly because my grandmother had made it a pretty traumatic experience for her, hid her away in the house, and forbid her to ever speak of it again after the baby was born and taken for adoption. (she had just turned 16 at the time, in 1961, but still?? I'm actually quite shocked at this because I always thought my Grandma was the sweetest, most easy going person I knew other than my Mom, but I guess that wasn't always the case)

Anyways.. i'm feeling a little off because both of my older sisters found out yesterday, and immediately had "friended" my new brother's wife on FB, have called him on the phone, and have now set up a meeting for next weekend.

Am I a horrible person for being a little bit weirded out by this? I don't know that i'm ready to get on the phone to call a complete stranger yet? I have no idea what I'd even say to him.. i've only know about this for less than 3 hours! I'm sure I'll meet him soon, but in the meantime i'm feeling a little bit like the bad sister, especially since my two sisters immediately jumped in and made contact..

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post.. but I somehow feel more inclined to talk to my SC friends, than my family about this..

Any advice?

NickiB.....I would just start by saying "Hi".
You might be surprise by how you feel, once you get the chance to meet/talk.
You might even discover that you have a lot in common.
Plus having a older brother can be great!
Give it time....Good luck my dear .

[LuvToUseCoupons]

Hi All,
Happy Monday....
Here's wishing everyone a wonderful week....
Anyone seen Friday yet?

[Lynn49]

It's been so long since I've checked in here...lots of things popping up here and there, trying to keep busy, trying to forget there's still snow out there....but all's well!

NikiB..I imagine it was quite a surprise for all of you! As for your Grandmother, you have to understand it was a VERY different time...I lived thru the 60s in my teens, and lordy, if any gal got pregnant she suddenly disappeared (to an aunt's house, etc...) and returned the next school year. People may have suspected, but no one really talked about it (girls probably gossiped, of course)...my Mom always used to tell me that if I ever got pregnant it would just "KILL" my Dad. Talk about incentive to keep one's knees locked together! Had an aunt who always said, "Ladies keep their knees together in any social situations." LOL! But that's what it was like in those days...I can't imagine how traumatic it must have been for both your mom and grandma. Those were very different and very prudish times in spite of what the "flower children" might have sung about.
I can't speak for how you're feeling but personally...wow! An instant brother! A brother who did nothing wrong, who, for all you know, may turn out to be a lovely addition to your family. All things happen for a reason...I think it's wonderful that your sisters have embraced him even as a respectful gesture to your Mom. I hope you join the new circle of friendship..it'll probably be a lot more fun than being on the outskirts. Hoping, of course, that he's not wanted in several provinces by the police!

The COMBINE is on!!!! First the Olympics and now the Combine (a moment of reverent silence, please)...oh, how I hope so much for those kids to succeed!!! Yes, life is good....

Happy week, everyone!!!

[Darth Penguin]

Why yes, I was in downtown Morryall today.

[Darth Penguin]

Hi Ladies.. I don't usually come over to the tea room or the general threads, but feeling a little "off" today. I had some surprising news today, apparently, I have a brother!

My Mom has kept this secret for 52 years and was just contacted this past week from her son, which in itself, I think is great. I can't understand why she would have kept this secret, she said partially from embarassment, and partly because my grandmother had made it a pretty traumatic experience for her, hid her away in the house, and forbid her to ever speak of it again after the baby was born and taken for adoption. (she had just turned 16 at the time, in 1961, but still?? I'm actually quite shocked at this because I always thought my Grandma was the sweetest, most easy going person I knew other than my Mom, but I guess that wasn't always the case)

Anyways.. i'm feeling a little off because both of my older sisters found out yesterday, and immediately had "friended" my new brother's wife on FB, have called him on the phone, and have now set up a meeting for next weekend.

Am I a horrible person for being a little bit weirded out by this? I don't know that i'm ready to get on the phone to call a complete stranger yet? I have no idea what I'd even say to him.. i've only know about this for less than 3 hours! I'm sure I'll meet him soon, but in the meantime i'm feeling a little bit like the bad sister, especially since my two sisters immediately jumped in and made contact..

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post.. but I somehow feel more inclined to talk to my SC friends, than my family about this..

Any advice?

[[[[HUGS]]]]

No you are NOT horrible at all. You've had a shock and need to take it in. Your sisters are different to you , that's all. If you do't want to rush into a group hiug , that's fine.


some points from my perspective, only..


1) your grandmother..lived in a different time when out of wedlock babies were a cause of shame up until the mid or even late 1970's or later..your GM was only reacting to what was happening at the time. PLease don't judge her harshly for obeying the social mores of the time..lots of other parents reacted in the same way. I'm sure that she was a wonderful grandmother to you and your siblings and cousins.

2)Your mother went though a traumatic time as a young teen, without any support so she will need yours and your sisters' support and understanding..

3) your sisters appear keen to bring this man and his family into your close family NOW!

So... to me you appear to be more hesistant to engage at the moment.and thats fine too. Don't be pushed into something just because your sisters are keen to make up for lost time.

Nicki...the only person you need to please is yourself..

If you feel uncomfortable..make an excuse for the time being. If you don't want to meet this man with your sisters, don't ..If either he or they don't understand why you feel uncomfortable at the moment..just decline politely and ask for another meeting at a time and place you feel more comfortable/in control of.

Should you decide to meet with or without your beloved or sisters your new brother, then make arrangements for a trusted friend to call you up with an "emergancy" to give you a graceful way out.

BTW..how does your mother feel about this?? Have you or your sisters spoken to her??

Again..lots of hugs and best wishes..

[danger_dan]

Good morning all...have we hit rock bottom with the Olympic Withdrawal yet...?

[LuvToUseCoupons]

Hi All,
Happy Tuesday....
I can feel the cold again....
But what should I expect?....it's only March on Saturday .
It's currently -18, and apparently this will be my warmest day for the week .
Well I better go and start my stew, as I'm sure everyone will need a bowl of it later to warm up.
Happy a great day all. Keep warm, and remember June is only a few more months .

[Natalka]

Popping in with a late HI!!!

Husband is home today.

You know your stubborn husband is hurting when he goes to a doctor without nagging! He did so yesterday.

He has a hurt back (not his broken back part) - back/leg nerve pinched, muscle pain.
He's going for therapy this aft. Fingers crossed that a massage or something gives him some relief.

Hope everyone has a fab day!

[angel_2011]

Hope every1s having a great tuesday!!

My DH is home as well - his van was giving probs, so had to take it to the mechanic & no van = no work.
Kind of feels like a "holiday" for me, with him being home.... it feels more of a relaxing day

That sun is deceiving - it's in my backyard, and when I went out, it felt so good and warm... but when I just went to check for mail (in the front), it's freezing!!

So I got some cute valentines day cards for next year, for DS... also got some halloween decorations and porch xmas tree... walmart.ca is the best... oh and i got 2 construction toys (1 for DS, 1 for his friend whose bday party he's going to next month). Toys R Us had it listed at $70, walmart had it on clearance for $10!!!

DD has been bugging me all week for spaghetti and meatballs, so we're going to be having that for dinner.

[Candini]

Visits with DD.

I have a crush on Mister Maker. Sorry/Not Sorry

[Candini]

Popping in with a late HI!!!

Husband is home today.

You know your stubborn husband is hurting when he goes to a doctor without nagging! He did so yesterday.

He has a hurt back (not his broken back part) - back/leg nerve pinched, muscle pain.
He's going for therapy this aft. Fingers crossed that a massage or something gives him some relief.

Hope everyone has a fab day!

Euro men NEVER go to the hospital. (It's not very manly) I hope he is okay!!

[Lynn49]

Hope the message therapy helps your hubby, Natalka!!
Quiet day here....I have to have a (cracked) wisdom tooth extracted on Friday, so I'm not a happy camper right now.
I'll be fully asleep for it, but still.......

Cold, cold again out there, and it seems to want to continue; this year I will not hope for an early spring because if it's anything like last year, I spent most of March hiding between the mattresses! I just really, really hate that white crap out there and can't wait for it all to die!

Have a great week, everyone...

[angel_2011]

Hope the message therapy helps your hubby, Natalka!!
Quiet day here....I have to have a (cracked) wisdom tooth extracted on Friday, so I'm not a happy camper right now.
I'll be fully asleep for it, but still.......

Cold, cold again out there, and it seems to want to continue; this year I will not hope for an early spring because if it's anything like last year, I spent most of March hiding between the mattresses! I just really, really hate that white crap out there and can't wait for it all to die!

Have a great week, everyone...

oh Lynn, you gave me a good chuckle with that line... i just hope we get a good summer.. looking forward to going to the beach/cottage... kids can't wait to go to the splash pad.. sitting outside eating icecream.. bbqs... *sighs*

[NickiB]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes and advice, was my day off today so I met my best friend for breakfast. An omelet, half a dozen cups of coffee, two hours at a diner and i'm feeling a little more optimistic. And from what my BFF said, as well as many of you, I am starting to understand my Grandmother's actions. I'm thinking the 60's free love and all that, but I guess '61 was still pretty early.

Still can't quite pick up the phone yet, but thinking my next step will be sending the friend request via FB. Not sure why i'm so nervous, it's a new brother for goodness sake, not an internet date!

Hope everyone is enjoying their week!

[LuvToUseCoupons]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes and advice, was my day off today so I met my best friend for breakfast. An omelet, half a dozen cups of coffee, two hours at a diner and i'm feeling a little more optimistic. And from what my BFF said, as well as many of you, I am starting to understand my Grandmother's actions. I'm thinking the 60's free love and all that, but I guess '61 was still pretty early.

Still can't quite pick up the phone yet, but thinking my next step will be sending the friend request via FB. Not sure why i'm so nervous, it's a new brother for goodness sake, not an internet date!

Hope everyone is enjoying their week!

Lol....It's perfectly normal to feel nervous Niki .
Good luck.