Facebook Verbal Diarrhea

[RebeccaRYoung]

I know we all have probably had a time when we wrote something really personal online. I know that I have written something personal online and regretted it later. When you read something that someone has written that's really personal and probably inappropriate, I find it embarrassing. I'm embarrassed to be reading it, and I'm embarrassed that the person has put that information up for all the world to read.

I have two family members that constantly write really personal information on facebook. They write about their personal finances, arguments that they've had with family and friends, and they've written about their life stories. They use facebook to rant about things that bother them without any regard to their own privacy. I feel that when writing things online people should have a little bit of an inner monologue (a conversation that you have silently inside your head, something that you say to yourself buy don't necessarily share with others). This inner monologue should be the voice that says that's really personal and inappropriate to say out loud. Unfortunately, there are people with verbal diarrhea. These people say whatever comes into their heads without thinking before they speak.

These two family members wrote about their personal hardships on facebook yesterday. They were upset about the one day teacher's strike. They talked about the hardships that they have faced and how this one day strike just adds to their own personal difficulties in trying to find child care. While I totally agree that life has been difficult for them, I'm not sure if writing such personal information is going to solve anything.

I now worry that if I do anything to upset them, that they will post about me on facebook. I'm not keen on having a personal argument made visible for all to see. To me it seems like a way to make people into hostages. They can't disagree with you, talk about personal problems with you, or really be any closer than remote acquaintances with you. I'm even nervous about discussing this situation with them because anything I say or do might end up on facebook.

[Lyssia510]

That's exactly why I no longer have Facebook. You can't control what other people post about you and people share way too much to the point where it gets uncomfertable sometimes.

[Couponsavings]

I agree with the OP. One should not be airing their dirty laundry in public. Just because we live in the electronics age doesn't make it o.k. to post anything we want, especially private matters. People are way too open online and it can be dangerous to your friendships and family relationships. If you're going to post anything you need to do an honest self-check: Is this something I would be comfortable in having the whole world knowing about me? Could I repeat this in polite company or at work to my boss and co-workers? - with my head held high and self-respect intact?

I'm extremely careful on FB, I never post anything about where I live, no birthdates. no pic's of my kids, etc. You just never know who's reading your posts and looking to cause trouble. Much better to be safe than sorry.

[torontogal12]

I totally get what you are saying. It is similar to people posting pictures of you on Facebook without asking.

Some people don't understand that what they post online become public documents.

My suggestion: Post a link on your profile about http://www.kurrently.com. It's a search engine that goes through Facebook/Twitter/Etc and lets you search ALL the public posts. I've used it a couple of times and people will publicly post the most ridiculous things. One time that "find interesting content" section had links to dozens of people talking about their STD tests.

Maybe if you point to a few ridiculous posts and say something about "look at the things people will post on Facebook for the public to see lol" maybe these people will see it and get the picture that they shouldn't air dirty laundry online and you won't have to worry about setting them off on a public rant about you pointing this out to them.

But fear not because when someone posts a rant about other people on Facebook, they come off really badly. I have friends who are divorced and the ex-husband posted a looooong rant about his ex-wife's new boyfriend PUBLICLY. Guess who came out looking like the loser and who no one is speaking to anymore?

[lghend]

The way I look at it is: each person uses their own personal "facebook" page for what they want it for. Everyone has settings to block or limit anyone else's page/posts. Some people just creep, some vent, some visit, some share EVERYTHING. To each his own. I do a little of everything. I also limit some people because they post too many videos, jokes etc. I know my page is visible to all my friends (except those I've limited) but it's my page to post the things I want to post. I think too many people assume that because they can see it, they get to judge it. NO! Just read or don't read and move on.

[nightlite]

I deleted my FB account 3 years ago for a variety of reasons. One of which was that it was eye opening to discover people's true selves. For example, you could have worked alongside someone for 10 years and suddenly they friend you on FB. Next thing you know you're privy to status updates and opinions about everything - politics, child rearing, finances, family drama etc - and you realize how different they are from yours. Some to a point where it angered me so much that I couldn't look at them the same way and it becomes so uncomfortable to be near them professionally afterwards. I also found that the more people I had as "friends" the less comfortable I was being myself b/c of how I saw other people reflected on there and I thought if I am thinking that of them, maybe they're thinking that of me and my opinions.

I think there should be a fine line between professional networking and socializing online. It got to a point with FB that I was tired of having to set privacy settings for different people and feeds and I just found out too much stuff I didn't want to know about other people. So it was easier for me to leave than it was to set up who saw what/what I saw on there.

[KrazE]

I use Lists on my FB and sort people accordingly, then I can choose who can see what depending on what I am posting without concern. For example, if I am posting something silly about one of the kids, I will only allow those in the "Family" list to see what I've posted, and anyone who is not in that list won't see it at all.
Every single person I have as a friend is in a list, and all my settings are based on that. I also don't post personal things, or vent about family/friends etc - I hate drama & don't participate in it.
If someone I am friends with on FB tends to post drama, then I tell FB what items from that person are even allowed in my News Feed, or whether I want to see updates from them at all (other than going directly to their FB page that is).

For the most part, it's all about choosing the custom settings made available to you if it's worth it to you to have an FB account. For me, it is since family & friends are scattered all over the world.

[neelkamalll1979]

I am only really on Facebook for Farmville 2. So addicting.... If anyone wants to be my neighbor PM me.

[nicolthepickle]

I ended my facebook for just such reasons. It's hard to like someone when they write such stupid things.

[DianneS]

Those people tend to be the same people who give "too much information" in all areas of their lives. They don't seem to have appropriate boundaries....and they sometimes seem to be unaware that we all have similar issues in life but not all of us share with the entire world.

[lghend]

But at the same time, there are posts on this forum that do the same, that make you cringe and wonder about the people writing them. So this is different how?

[RebeccaRYoung]

I can definitely see your point lghend. I have read some posts here that surprise me. I guess the difference is that there is some anonymity on this site. You don't really know anyone else's name. Facebook on the other hand has so much personal information that you know exactly who is posting.

[kokobear666]

Yea, Facebook is garbage now. So many people you thought you knew become completely different people, updating statuses 17 times a day, with bs no one wants to know, trash talking people, etc. I hate Facebook. Rargh.

[i_forget]

Well, I just deactivated my account.
Last year I had a couple of hundred "friends". One of those friends had an issue, and used fb to lie and humiliate someone, and it changed the way I saw her as a person, and it made me re-evaluate how fb was "useful", and evaluate who I was as a person. I am sure in her anger to my response to her about it, she probably tried to do the same to me LOL.
I ended up deleting a LOT of "friends", and keeping family, and some old work ones associates, and some people that I was actually still friends with.
With all of the hate in the world, I have been exposed to a lot of anger and hate, not directly, but still exposed.
Last night, someone on my fb account had someone post on her wall something that was cruel to disabled children, to which I have two of.
That was the final straw for me.
Facebook is just fueling the anger and hate of people in the world, by giving them a medium to spread their anger and hate, and I no longer want to be a part of it.
It was a nice place to share things with family and friends who were positive, but people are unable to be positive on it, so bye bye.

[krysta lynne]

I love FAcebooK!

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