...my cousin stole my wine?

[Brooke_]

Happy Valentine's Day !!

We had a great night out with family and friends. iIt ended with a late dinner, just me, my cousin and both of our BFs. Me and my BF got there first, and i ordered a bottle of wine for me and my cousin to share. They arrived and we ate, it was good! We only drank half the bottle of wine and they allow re-corking so I figured I'd bring the bottle of wine I was paying for home..except it was missing from the table??
We had gotten our bills and the wine was literally gone. I asked my BF if he took it -- nope.. I asked my cousin if she took it -- nope. So I asked the server "hey, do you know what happened to my bottle of wine?" -- nope. And that's when my cousin chimed in "oh I have the wine, but it is on your bill." My BF and I looked at each other like wtf?
The way she said it, like so flat out Yes I have your wine and Yes you are paying for it. I guess she has it in her purse? I couldn't even ask for it because it was so embarrassing for her. As we walked out of the restaurant I said "you know we are allowed to take the wine, you don't have to hide it" and she said "I know"...
She had something in her vehicle for me that my mom had sent from Winnipeg (my cousin and her BF just moved here a week ago) so I went over to grab it, and she passed me the bag, and hopped in and said bye and shut the door. The amount of time from me questioning where my wine was to her shutting that door couldn't have been more than 10 minutes. There was nothing to distract her from the though that she had my wine and I was asking for it...

It isn't even the wine I want, I easily would have let her have it because I wouldn't have drank it anyways but for her to so blatantly steal it. We actually laughed the entire way home at how ridiculous it was. How clueless could someone truly be.

[vesper]

The good news is, that was rather inexpensive way to to find out your cousin is not honest. When you need a house sitter, you know whom not to ask.

[Midnightly]

ohh i would be tempted to put on facebook.. "i think someone stole my wine tonight"

[hollyquaiscer]

Perhaps you should speak to her about it, since she is family. Just let her know how you feel about the situation. That way, hopefully it won't happen again. Explain to her that you would have let her take it she had of just asked you for it, but you feel like she STOLE it from you. Maybe even ask her to pay for half the bottle since she took it. Advise her that you thought you were each paying for your own meals, and that you were the one that paid for the wine. being family, it should be an easy conversation, and the air can be cleared and you can move on. It's not something that you want to be upset about and let it ruin your relationship with her when it can be fixed by an quick conversation.

[madchives]

ok, your cousin is nuts.
sorry brooke, but can't figure out why anyone, never mind a relative would do this.
thinking she has some sort of problem with another family act?
just guessing and of course could be wrong

[lessthannat]

This is rather amusing, not sure how I would handle it
Personally I would have asked if I can have it, maybe I would remind her next time she should ask you before just taking and assuming you'd be okay with it, not sure what your relationship is like

[erin9mmm]

ohh i would be tempted to put on facebook.. "i think someone stole my wine tonight"

Oh no, that will just make her look petty. I would just let it go. It's only wine - I realize it's the principle of the matter but it's family and sometimes it's best to just forget and move on. If she took it she obviously had her reasons (maybe short on funds/wanted to have a glass with bf later/too embarrassed to ask you etc) and I doubt it was done maliciously.
Let it go.

[Brooke_]

ok, your cousin is nuts.
sorry brooke, but can't figure out why anyone, never mind a relative would do this.
thinking she has some sort of problem with another family act?
just guessing and of course could be wrong

What do you mean, some sort of problem with another family act? Do you mean she does other things like this that don't go unnoticed by other family members?

[vesper]

for some reason this thread reminds me of one of the best songs ever sung

[Aimz]

Oh no, that will just make her look petty. I would just let it go. It's only wine - I realize it's the principle of the matter but it's family and sometimes it's best to just forget and move on. If she took it she obviously had her reasons (maybe short on funds/wanted to have a glass with bf later/too embarrassed to ask you etc) and I doubt it was done maliciously.
Let it go.

I think too often, we let things go "because it's family" and it doesn't always end well. Yeah, it's family, but shouldn't you expect more from your family? Family should be people you can trust, people who are honest, people who respect you enough to talk to you rather than assuming you will bend over and take whatever they give.

Seriously, like another poster said, it was "just wine" this time, but it could be something much more expensive/valuable next time.

OP, I don't know your relationship with this cousin; only you know that. I would say, talk to her and let her know that this somewhat shocked you...just ask her what's up/why she felt she had the right to take the wine and talk to you so flippantly. Maybe she genuinely didn't realize she was doing something questionable, but given that she seemed unaffected/shut the door so quickly, she might have known exactly what she was doing, didn't care, and assumed you wouldn't call her on it.

[i_forget]

Oh MAN!

That would have made me so mad.
IF she ever pulls anything like that again, just say to the server "can you fix our bills please, my cousin here wants to pay for the wine."
If she wants to be cheeky, you be cheeky right back!

[Brooke_]

I think too often, we let things go "because it's family" and it doesn't always end well. Yeah, it's family, but shouldn't you expect more from your family? Family should be people you can trust, people who are honest, people who respect you enough to talk to you rather than assuming you will bend over and take whatever they give.

Seriously, like another poster said, it was "just wine" this time, but it could be something much more expensive/valuable next time.

OP, I don't know your relationship with this cousin; only you know that. I would say, talk to her and let her know that this somewhat shocked you...just ask her what's up/why she felt she had the right to take the wine and talk to you so flippantly. Maybe she genuinely didn't realize she was doing something questionable, but given that she seemed unaffected/shut the door so quickly, she might have known exactly what she was doing, didn't care, and assumed you wouldn't call her on it.

Okay...you just made a light bulb go off. I had purchased a blazer for $125 in September. I had been wanting it for quite some time and finally bought it for myself. Ari came into town and we took a road trip down to BC for a family wedding. And my blazer was gone. I never found it again. The last place I remember having it was in my house, hanging it up because I was contemplating bringing it with me and decided not to. I have since moved, so aside from searching for it numerous times, I have been through everything very thoroughly. Never to be seen again...(I have even since re-purchased the exact same blazer, that is how much I loved it).
Ahahaha, all I can do it laugh at how ridiculous this is. How sad! I wouldn't confront her because I am too shy. But I can definitely prevent anything from happening in the future. I will have a massive guard up that's for sure. Thanks!

[lecale]

.

[erin9mmm]

I think too often, we let things go "because it's family" and it doesn't always end well. Yeah, it's family, but shouldn't you expect more from your family? Family should be people you can trust, people who are honest, people who respect you enough to talk to you rather than assuming you will bend over and take whatever they give.

Seriously, like another poster said, it was "just wine" this time, but it could be something much more expensive/valuable next time...

I think too often people don't let things go (especially now with fb). Life is too short for little things like that. Pick your battles and let the little ones go it's not worth it....And especially not something to spread on fb and hurt feelings when maybe it was all a misunderstanding.
Putting it on fb (which was what I was the post I was talking about) is no different that putting an ad out about it in the newspaper or calling up everyone you know and telling them about it - without even knowing if it was intentional or not. Even if the wine was taken intentionally what do you gain by announcing it like that? If it bothers her that much, then talk to her privately but there is no need to spread it around.

[Midnightly]

How sad! I wouldn't confront her because I am too shy. But I can definitely prevent anything from happening in the future. I will have a massive guard up that's for sure. Thanks!

see i'm also one who avoids direct confrontation.. which is why i would have facebooked it lol.. but i would put it up with a lol.. or add it to part of a larger post about the night.. it does sound like a rather brazen thing to do.. she could have easily pulled it back out and put it back on the table when you were slightly distracted (like looking at the bill or something) i would keep a questionable eye on her when she's with you.. if this isn't the first incident where something goes missing while she's been around..

and i fully agree.. just because they are family does not mean you have to play they "it's family" card and let them have free reign... stealing is stealing.. it would be much different if she asked then took.. but she took and acted as if she was refusing to give back once she was caught (in the process trying to make you look foolish asking everyone around where it went)