Backyard Wedding help?

[Teenah20]

So, my BF and I have decided to get married this July (on our 7 year anniversary, 7's a lucky number right???). We have discussed the eloping to the falls, the big wedding, the backyard wedding etc.

We've finally settled on getting married at the Justice of the Peace in private (basically, find a witness last minute to do it and go for it) and then inviting all our family/friends over for a "bbq" and then announce to them that we tied the knot.

I'm wondering if I should forewarn them that we are celebrating the marriage, or if I should just leave it as a surprise we got married kind of deal. Also, with the backyard wedding, would I need any kind of permit? Should I get wedding favors? I'm so LOST in all of this, with the exception of getting the marriage license, and a cute summer dress, I'm oblivious to what I should be doing to prepare. We're on a tight budget, so I know I wont be able to get everyone cab rides home if they drink too much... and I definitely do not want them all sleeping at my house!!

Should I just leave it as a bbq they are invited to? With the hopes they only bring a 6pack of beer for each couple?

Decorations?!?!?! Kids?!?!? I'm looking for any ideas how to make this memorable, on a budget, and family friendly (we have three kids between us)

[Natalka]

Congrats, how exciting!

Curious to know, though, why you wouldn't want to have the ceremony with everyone there, as well.
Then people get to witness you getting married, then the purpose of the wedding reception is to have people there to celebrate with you!

Otherwise, just as you said then, you are just having a bbq - a get-together for family and friends. If you do it that way, then I guess you would know your families well enough to know if you want to have your announcement be a surprize or not.

I've only been to one backyard wedding and it was pretty nice. It was my brother's second wedding, her third (I think), and she was seven or eight months knocked up. They each had one child from other marriages.
They had a marriage celebrant do a short ceremony, then we had a big turkey dinner - all family members and close friends helped with things for the meal.
It was in September, so the weather was just right to have it outside. There were maybe 40 people there if I remember right.

Good luck!

[xlxo]

Are you planning weather protection like tents? Check your bylaws on the number and sizes of tents.

Otherwise, plan ahead with extended weather forecasts.
http://www.accuweather.com/en/ca/wal...monyr=4/1/2014

[Lynn49]

As a wedding officiant, I've performed many outdoor weddings, from big fancy ones, to casual surprise bbqs and they've all been lovely. Personally, why not invite everyone over for a bbq, then (as a couple did with me) have your officiant arrive and announce to everyone that they're about to witness a wedding! There were no favors, just lots of lovely tables set out with food, they hired someone to bbq (I believe it was a neighbour), had a mixed grill (burgers, ribs, sausages, shrimp, etc), all the fixin's, and only their attendants ( formal witnesses) and a couple of friends knew what was going on and helped with the setting up of the party and lovely decorations (lots of those dollar store battery operated paper lanterns, candles on the tables, flowers... WHAT a blast!

Now, with my "parent" hat on, if our DD ever had decided to elope, I would have throttled her! Don't take that joy away from either of your parents, friends, and family...include them, not exclude them...jmho.

[blueeyetea]

I wouldn't tell them ahead of time that the party is to celebrate a wedding unless you want them to bring a wedding gift. Since it's a casual affair, do what you want and what you can afford. It's your wedding. With no expectations from your guests, there's no need to give out wedding favours unless it's important to you to provide them.

[start-the-car]

I would say, depending on your age and if this is a first time marriage. Gifts might be a good idea. I could see if you were older already have a home you may not want any gifts. Otherwise when I got married in my 20's gifts where a very welcomed thing. If I was to do it again now, it would just be a party.

[saddlebag]

Bottom line...do what makes you happy.....a few decorations would be nice...invite everyone over for a "potluck" that way you save money on food for the reception.....goodluck

[avoncallingu]

Teenah
I, like Lynn49, am a wedding officiant and I live in Chatham! If I were you, I would check out about available JPs. They do not have one available at City Hall any more. You might wind up paying someone as much as you would a licenced officiant.
Backyard weddings can be lovely - they don't have to be complicated. If you work with a wedding professional, she can help reduce your stress by knowing all the "ins-and-outs" and yet keeping to your budget.
Have you, perhaps, though about holding the "party" at a public place, such a
Erie Beach? It's beautiful, people realize that they need to be able to get there and back in a sober state. Just a thought.

If you decide on "favours" they can be as simple as baby-food jars with jelly beans in "special" colours and computer printed labels with your name and the date. One of the most valued "souvenirs" of a wedding are pictures. Do you have a friend who is a good photographer? Perhaps s/he could donate her/his skills as a wedding present.

Also, to be mindful of budgets, you might be bypassing wedding GIFTS if you don't have a wedding that includes guests.

These are just random thoughts. If you wish to ask me any questions, just pm me. Congratulations and good luck!

[Teenah20]

I'm not too worried about my Parents, My mom died when I was 15, and my dad isn't really into the celebrations of things. He lives across the street from me, I love him dearly, but he doesn't like crowds or lots of people.. He doesn't usually attend BBQ's or even my kids birthday parties because of the large crowd.

avoncallingu - I've been discussing the idea with my bf, and we have thought about having an officiant come to our house and perform the ceremony in front the friends/family that do come. Just not sure if its something we really want, as a lot of our family (on both sides) tend to have issues with arriving on time for things. Not sure how much it even really costs to have one come out? My ex's sister does photography, so I'm sure I could get her for a few hours.

I just wasn't sure if it was common at backyard bbq weddings to have favors / decorations etc. We don't plan to get completely dressed up for the event (easy summer attire) , and with a lot of the family members, if its a wedding they will drink. Regardless if they have a ride home. I'm almost certain I could have my dad play DD, but I'm sure he'd get tired of it after awhile. Erie Beach isn't really good for us, as we do have kids that don't like to be in cars that long.

We just figured it'd be easier to have the party at our house, that way our babysitter can be here when the children go up to bed. Thanks for all the useful tips!! I may be looking into booking you avoncallingu

[Teenah20]

I would say, depending on your age and if this is a first time marriage. Gifts might be a good idea. I could see if you were older already have a home you may not want any gifts. Otherwise when I got married in my 20's gifts where a very welcomed thing. If I was to do it again now, it would just be a party.

We are 25 and 27, already have a house and 3 kids between us.

[Lynn49]

I'm not too worried about my Parents, My mom died when I was 15, and my dad isn't really into the celebrations of things. He lives across the street from me, I love him dearly, but he doesn't like crowds or lots of people.. He doesn't usually attend BBQ's or even my kids birthday parties because of the large crowd.

avoncallingu - I've been discussing the idea with my bf, and we have thought about having an officiant come to our house and perform the ceremony in front the friends/family that do come. Just not sure if its something we really want, as a lot of our family (on both sides) tend to have issues with arriving on time for things. Not sure how much it even really costs to have one come out? My ex's sister does photography, so I'm sure I could get her for a few hours.

I just wasn't sure if it was common at backyard bbq weddings to have favors / decorations etc. We don't plan to get completely dressed up for the event (easy summer attire) , and with a lot of the family members, if its a wedding they will drink. Regardless if they have a ride home. I'm almost certain I could have my dad play DD, but I'm sure he'd get tired of it after awhile. Erie Beach isn't really good for us, as we do have kids that don't like to be in cars that long.

We just figured it'd be easier to have the party at our house, that way our babysitter can be here when the children go up to bed. Thanks for all the useful tips!! I may be looking into booking you avoncallingu

You couldn't do better than having Avon perform your wedding; we're with the same company and our ceremony is absolutely beautiful, AND you can adjust it to absolutely fit you and your fella exactly, AND involve the kids as well!
Of all the backyard events I've officiated, there are no favours per se, just lots of good food, wine/beer/punch and wedding cake or cupcakes. Don't add to your costs, as people don't expect it at informal functions.
Whether you let everyone know in advance or not is a personal decision only you can make.
Give Avon a call and discuss your wants and needs....I know her personally and she's a wonderful, kind and generous lady!

[Teenah20]

You couldn't do better than having Avon perform your wedding; we're with the same company and our ceremony is absolutely beautiful, AND you can adjust it to absolutely fit you and your fella exactly, AND involve the kids as well!
Of all the backyard events I've officiated, there are no favours per se, just lots of good food, wine/beer/punch and wedding cake or cupcakes. Don't add to your costs, as people don't expect it at informal functions.
Whether you let everyone know in advance or not is a personal decision only you can make.
Give Avon a call and discuss your wants and needs....I know her personally and she's a wonderful, kind and generous lady!

Thanks Lynn! I think we have a better idea of what we'll be doing. Just a matter of getting in touch with an officiant and ironing out the last few details! I knew SC would be the place to find this info!