I hope she doesn't take advantage of him.... rant

[toban]

I have an older sister who lives in another Province. She has a decent job but has credit card debt and other debts likely in the $50,000 plus range. If you go out to eat, and your footing the bill, she orders a appetizer, meal, drinks an dessert every time. She only wants to eat at fancy restaurants when your paying and doesn't like chain restaurants. If your out shopping, she sees an item she likes and picks it up, expects you will pay for it. If you ask her "Are you buying that?" Her response "No you are".

You may not hear from her for weeks, but then out of the blue phones desperate for money to pay for gas, vet bills for her dogs etc.

She wanted to head to the USA to attend an event for 1 week and hoped family would help pay for her gas, hotel, food,and entertainment costs!

She has 'borrowed" over $30,000 from my parents over the past 6 years and takes advantage. She needed my dad's credit card to pay for one of the dog's surgery. He gave it to her over the phone. There were also other charges on his statement which she 'failed' to tell him or ask his permission to use it. An overdue cellphone bill twice for $70.00 plus. A few vet bills. When he asked her about it she came up with some excuse as to why she didn't mention it. Family members told them time to cut her off and change his credit card.They kept all the amounts (bank deposit, credit card statements) and wrote her a letter saying their retirement savings are dwindling and they cannot afford to keep handing out money. They also included the exact amount they have given her. She was livid and yelled at them over the phone.

She rarely calls since being cut off.

She feels she is entitled to 'fancy and frivolous things'

She has 3 dogs, 3 cats and 2 horses which she can barely afford to care for (vet bills). She is good to her animals, it's just the cost that she can't afford

Since her cut off, she has met a guy who has a wonderful job. They have been together for about a year now ,recently he bought a house and they live together. She told me she wants fancy things for the house and plans on taking him shopping. She is using her income to pay down her debt and he pays her bills (cell phone etc) I doubt he knows about the money she has taken from my parents because he seems like a nice and honest guy. The type that would likely tell her to pay them back. I met him once and I could see her manipulating him in a nice way to get things. I could never do this to anyone.

She spoke to me recently and mentioned she bought 4 more purebred dogs but doesn't plan on breeding them. I know they are adults and it's none of my business.... She's using her income to pay down debt, her bf is footing the bills and she goes out and buys 4 more purebreds. In other words more money for him to put out for care and costs. She said "He seemed okay with it' with a bit of hesitation in her voice.

I hate to call my sister a mooch.... it bothers me when others take advantage.

It's not just family... she has borrowed small amounts from friends etc and not paid them back.

I borrowed money once in the past from someone but made it a priority to pay them back immediately. It's not just family... she has borrowed small amounts from friends and never paid them back.

I just hope she doesn't take advantage of her bf.

Rant over.

[Midnightly]

it sounds like she needs to be nominated for the show "princess" http://www.slice.ca/Shows/Princess/d...itle_ID=251057

[MillieH]

One of my sisters does this, not on this big a scale but big for her level of income.. I don't know how they do it but they always find someone new to sponge off, leaving a trail of unpaid debt in their wake.. I used to worry about her but I've learned that they will keep doing it until they are ready to stop. I just make sure I'm not on the enabler list, ANYMORE.. lol

[MillieH]

Omgosh.. love Gail.. her ideas are simple and easy to do.. the princesses are sooo funny

it sounds like she needs to be nominated for the show "princess" http://www.slice.ca/Shows/Princess/d...itle_ID=251057

[Natalka]

Well, I'm glad your parents smartened up - and also that you aren't falling into her web.

As for the bf, well, he's an adult, and makes his own choices...

[c_mcarthur]

wow, what a mooch.
I have a friend who's a moooch. not to that extreme but it used to drive me nuts in college, because she was always broke because she was giving her entire paycheck to her mom, who sits at home all day not working for no reason other than she doesnt want to, and my friend enables this behaviour.
anyway back to the point, at school she would have no money and would constantly mooch off our food because she never brought one or rarely bought lunch.
I started buying bigger portions so I could share with her because I felt bad.
She's never asked me for money but i know shes up to her eyeballs in debt because of her mother.
She makes $18 an hour and comes up short every month for bills/savings/entertainment.
I worry for her future, i've tried talking to her about it but she cries everytime and says she's going to stop enabling her mother but nothing ever changes.

sorry to hijack your rant thread lol

[emg]

Wow I feel terrible for the guy that unknowingly is giving her so much money. Omg, I would have lost patience with her long time ago. She needs to star behaving like an adult. Your parents are fortunate to have a responsible conscientious daughter like you.

[frugal50]

how old is she? and what does she do for a living?

[toban]

She's 43 and works for a rail company.

how old is she? and what does she do for a living?

[Darth Penguin]

Well, I'm glad your parents smartened up - and also that you aren't falling into her web.

As for the bf, well, he's an adult, and makes his own choices...

ITA..your parents have cut her off and you refuse to bail her out..

her BF will sooner or later stop supporting her .

Personally I'd keep out of it all together. neither of them will be happy if you try to warn him off.

[Shwa Girl]

OP, I agree about Gail Vaz Oxlade's show - Princess.

I had an old coworker who tried that too -- with everybody in the team. She wanted free rides, free house sitting, free pet sitting, extravagant wedding gifts and extravagant baby shower gifts. I think she was very surprised and very disappointed when the baby shower gift was small. I think the team was fed up.

[tjthemanto]

Glad your parent's cut her off ..hopefully , they had done that ages before.

I see 16 year olds working hard ..like doing PT jobs & school ..but paying their own bills ..and she is 43 !!!..Time to grow up !

[Peachykeen2007]

if people keep giving her what she wants she will never learn her lesson

[Minou]

It sounds like he's trying to encourage her to pay off debt with their arrangement, but he's definitely going to get tired of supporting her and her menagerie. He'll get wise quickly, and maybe he ignores her plans to buy expensive things for the house. If she's hesitant about saying her guy was "okay" with the purchase of 4 purebreds, they have probably had words. After all, unless the guy loves dogs, why would he be happy to take on FOUR more? At 43, he'll soon realize that she isn't fixable, and the gravy train will end... and she'll be left with more expenses.

Be glad that she lives in a different province. Hope your parents take into account the money they've "lent" her when it comes to writing their wills.

[vesper]

People who live like this are deep down miserable and full of fears and lack empathy.

I doubt they enjoy anything in life except the short term shallow satisfaction of materialistic goods others hand over to them

My sister is only 23... Always burnt out, needs a vacation, and my dad keeps on giving.... Nice house, cars, trips, stuff and I heard he gave her half a million dollars so she could learn to invest in the stock market!

Moooooooooooooch!!!