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Thread: Coping with holidays/social events while bereaved or grieving

  1. #76
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    Check local organizations via funeral homes or community groups for fall sessions of grief support meetings (daytime or nighttime).
    I'm still keeping tabs on annual memorial services for the holidays.
    2021-Bring on the sunshine, sweets & online shopping.

  2. #77
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    This Sunday, a Hamilton, ON church is hosting a Surviving the Holidays session. Must register by Friday, Oct. 4 for the free event.
    https://www.hamiltonnews.com/events/...tm_content=a08

    The church is on Mohawk Rd. W., on the Hamilton Mountain. Found the event with slightly different hours on its website.
    https://thepc.churchcenter.com/regis.../events/304098
    2021-Bring on the sunshine, sweets & online shopping.

  3. #78
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    Christmas Memorial Services in the Burlington, Grimsby and Stoney Creek areas (via local funeral home website):
    https://www.smithsfh.com/christmas-memorial-services

    Bereaved Families of Ontario-Family Tree of Lights event Dec. 12 at the Bay Gardens (Burlington) location
    https://www.bfoscr.com/family-tree-of-lights

    There was an excellent article in the Sunday, November 10 issue of the Toronto Star entitled "When Grief is Your Dinner Guest" about surviving partners or spouses dealing with the issue of making meals or not after the deaths of their significant other. Something interesting-in Chicago, there's a Culinary Grief Therapy group that meets to help widows (used as a neutral noun to describe a woman or man who lost a spouse) make meals and talk about their grief issues around eating/food.

    Found a website with coping strategies for mealtimes:
    https://www.culinarygrieftherapy.com/coping

    Amazon has a book listing with the Culinary Grief Therapy title too:
    https://www.amazon.com/Culinary-Grie.../dp/069286069X

    Those of you familiar with Mairlyn Smith, who appears on food segments on Cityline, might like to read how her parents' deaths impacted her: https://www.arbormemorial.ca/en/blog...-of-each-other
    I’ve also learned that most people are afraid to talk about death, they don’t know what to say and more often than not, they’re afraid to upset you.

    You be the ice breaker.

    You teach them that this is how you want to grieve. And then grieve. Don’t rush it or get busy so you don’t have time to process your grief. Embrace the pain. I believe that it’s only in embracing the darkness of pain that we get to see the light, because there is light. It’s bright and it’s shining, and it might not be the way the light shone before, but it’s still there, for you.
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  4. #79
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    When family members die overseas, how immigrants in Canada felt at their time of wanting to be with those family members and how they broke the news.
    https://www.cicnews.com/2019/11/i-re...html#gs.fnws0b
    2021-Bring on the sunshine, sweets & online shopping.

  5. #80
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    In Thursday's Hamilton Spectator, there was an ad on the front page of the Classifieds section about Dermody's annual Christmas Memorial Service on the West Mountain.

    Event information (telephone contact/Eventbrite tickets) for the afternoon Dec. 1 program: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/dermodys...?aff=ebdssbeac

    In Dundas (ON) on Dec. 1 (evening service), Turner Funeral Home conducts its Blue Christmas and Candlelight Service:
    https://www.facebook.com/events/508652253082680/
    2021-Bring on the sunshine, sweets & online shopping.

  6. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ciel View Post
    On Bayview Gardens' Facebook page is a link posted to 64 tips for coping with grief during the holidays:
    https://whatsyourgrief.com/64-tips-g...-the-holidays/

    Found this more recent blog post from Trillium Counselling for 104 tips during the holidays for coping with grief.
    https://www.trilliumcounselling.ca/b...g-the-holidays
    Its broken down by category which is kind of nice.
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  7. #82
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    The local Arbor Memorial funeral home posted a link to candlelight services in various provinces that are coming up (or may have just been held). https://www.arbormemorial.ca/en/blog...-at-arbor-2019
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  8. #83
    Mastermind Natalka's Avatar
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    Name:  facebook_1576658662555.jpg
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    Last edited by Natalka; Thu, Dec 19th, 2019 at 04:55 PM.

  9. #84
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    Local Hamilton paper has an article about someone who created a grief resource on Instagram, in partnership with Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice.

    This and myriad other aspects of grief are the theme of Emerging Grief, offered under the sponsorship of Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice in Hamilton. Described as "Supporting your grieving process via Instagram and in person services," Emerging Grief can be accessed at instagram.com/emerging.grief.Among its virtues is the research-based approach to all the resources — including advice, book suggestions, cards and helpful thoughts, insights and sentiments — available even if only to help through a hard moment.
    One feature of EG deals with grief bursts, often sudden flare-ups of sorrow that can be triggered by a memory, song, smell, even years after.
    https://www.thespec.com/news-story/9...-the-grieving/

    The Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/emerging.grief/
    2021-Bring on the sunshine, sweets & online shopping.

  10. #85
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    On tv today-a UK caregiver gave one of her elderly clients a pillow, with a photo image of his late wife's face, as a gift. The client had kept a photo of his spouse in bed while he slept. What a lovely moment for him and for viewers.
    https://twitter.com/BTtoronto/status...57107393675264

    Possible gift idea, if you know someone well enough to determine if a similar gift would be appreciated.
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    2021-Bring on the sunshine, sweets & online shopping.

  11. #86
    Canadian Genius Skippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ciel View Post
    On tv today-a UK caregiver gave one of her elderly clients a pillow, with a photo image of his late wife's face, as a gift. The client had kept a photo of his spouse in bed while he slept. What a lovely moment for him and for viewers.
    https://twitter.com/BTtoronto/status...57107393675264

    POSSIBLE gift idea, if you know someone well enough to determine if a similar gift would be appreciated.
    Thank you for sharing that! We all could use a little more good news!
    Ciel and cath007 like this.
    Always remember the What are you thankful for today? thread as there always is something to be thankful for.

  12. #87
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    Caregiver support is an important topic as we help family or friends on their health or end-of-life journeys (I have found this to be a form of grief of its own in my own experiences). 2020 is certainly making a point of knowing where one's team is when the pandemic closures or restrictions limit where you can go to access help.

    A Beginners Guide to the End (2019, Bruce J. Miller & Shoshana Berger) is a book to help people facing the ends of their lives (practical matters of papers, health directives, planning for any funeral/cremation or memorial as well as getting care or health needs covered), as well as supporting their caregivers and surviving kin/friends. The book has a specific chapter for caregivers (care for selves and where to find support), as well as another chapter on what to do if you need to advocate for yourself or someone else in a hospital. It is a US publication but many of the points raised by the two authors can be used in adaptation for Canadian health care needs. Wish I had this book two years ago--it can be found in bookstores, online or maybe your local public libraries.
    Last edited by Ciel; Mon, Oct 19th, 2020 at 03:30 PM.
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  13. #88
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    Sunday November 15, 2020 at 7PM EST-memorial concert with live music. Details:
    https://www.arbormemorial.ca/en/blog...oodbye-concert

    [QUOTE]The Saying Goodbye Concert, organized by our partner the Canadian Hospice and Paliative Care Association (CPHCA), is an entirely virtual event taking place on November 15th to honour loved ones who’ve passed, and process our collective grief.You’ll be able to view the concert for free at 7pm Eastern on either YouTube or the CHPCA Facebook page. The musical guests represent every corner of Canada, including John McDermott, Alan Doyle, and Tara Shannon. Multiple languages will also be represented because of artists like Florent Vollant, who’ll be performing in both his First Nations language Innu and in French.
    Many of the performers will share their own stories behind what the concert means for them, and some, like Eileen Laverty from Saskatchewan, have even written original songs for the theme of saying goodbye in these times. The hope of each artist is to bring comfort and companionship to Canadians experiencing this unique journey of grief, without all our traditional mourning rituals in place.
    You’re invited to come alone or with loved ones to listen to the music, and there’s a way for you to say goodbye to your loved one as well. During the concert’s Facebook live chat, you can share a dedication to the loved one who’s passed. Names that were submitted to CHPCA in August will also be shared on screen during the concert.
    Kelly MacLaren, the Development and Partnership Officer at CHPCA, shared her hope for what the concert will mean to viewers: “I’d encourage people to look at this as their time for the country to acknowledge the shared grief that everyone has endured.”[/QUOTE]

    *Update: here's the link to the Youtube video of the concert:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bppP...ature=youtu.be
    Last edited by Ciel; Mon, Nov 16th, 2020 at 01:46 PM.
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  14. #89
    Bean bun going offline Ciel's Avatar
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    City of Hamilton-Cemeteries division has a limited capacity event that requires pre-registration for the Sunday afternoon (Dec.6) Remembering Event. Don't know if it's reached its limit yet: https://www.hamilton.ca/attractions/...service?view=0

    Arbor Memorial has started posting a list of virtual remembrance services for early December 2020:
    https://www.arbormemorial.ca/en/dban...vices-at-arbor

    Bereaved Families of Ontario South Central Region-Family Tree of Lights Dec 2020 info:
    https://trellis.org/family-tree-of-lights

    BFO-Toronto info, Dec. 10 event: https://www.bfotoronto.ca/

    BFO-Halton Peel, Dec 1 event (via Zoom): https://www.bereavedfamilies.ca/upcomingevents

    Check your area organizations' websites as well as funeral home websites for soon-to-occur remembrance services. Share the info with anyone who may be grieving a recent loss or anniversary of a deceased person's passing. ((((Hugs))))
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    2021-Bring on the sunshine, sweets & online shopping.

  15. #90
    Canadian Genius DiamondLil's Avatar
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    My eldest son passed away this summer, and as Christmas approaches, I find myself crying, alot. I can usually control my emotions well, but lately, its been catching up to me and it overwhelms me. Ive been preparing for Christmas since October, trying to keep my head busy, but even with my emotional support dog (my pet name for our puppy Leo that we got a month after my son passed), my grief still catches me.

    Both of my parents passed away, but that loss feels like nothing compared to losing a child.
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    than the average person.

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