Baby #2.. How long do you wait?

[Eva-M]

My second one is due in January; when my daughter will be only about 15 months old.
I am totally scared...
I have no idea how I am going to handle it. I just hope everything goes well because it's not going to be easy. I am sure!

[reese&rorysmom]

I got pregnant with #2 when #1 just turned one. They are 21 months apart.

It was a BUSY couple of years when I had a 2 year old and a newborn but now that they are almost 5 & 7 I wouldn't have it any other way! They are both boys and being so close in age has resulted in two very close brothers

I liked that I wasn't out of diapers before I had #2 because it didn't seem to be a hardship for me to have to go back to using diapers and doing all that since I hadn't yet stopped.

I also like that my 'baby raising days' weren't stretched out over years and years. My youngest is going into kindergarten next year and I am REALLY looking forward to finishing my dayhome and going back to work as a teacher. I always wanted to stay home with my children so they wouldn't have to attend daycare and by having them far apart that would really have affected the number of years I stayed out of the work force.

Many people say that having children close together would be too much for them but it was a great choice for our family

[poppleton]

We just had baby #3 (he's now three weeks), and we have a 22-month-old son and a 3.5 year old daughter. We love having them close together! The two older kids play wonderfully together, and are entertained by the same books, toys, etc. Plus it's great that we're still in diaper mode! We also have had no jealousy issues either time the new baby was added, although the baby gets more hugs and kisses in a day than some people get in their lifetime

My sister and I are 51 weeks apart, and were close growing up and still are. We did most activities together, and while our groups of friends were different, we still got along with each other's peers. And the second child isn't always harder - our second is way more relaxed and easy-going than his sister was, plus he started sleeping through the night at five weeks. But whatever you decide, it will work out, and you will be so blessed seeing your kids interact with each other.

[momofkali]

I would say closer. It is harder at the beginning but they are much more likely to get along and get past all the "crappy" stuff all around the same time.

[kris10]

Most people like closer, i guess it just depends what you prefer. If you prefer to get it over with ( sleepless nights, out of work,hectic days) then go for it.

I would try both personally. 3 or 4 years apart sounds good to me at the moment. I just feel like I'd be able to enjoy her childhood and give her more attention. I just feel really guilty everyday because my only child has no one her age to play with she just follows me around the house a lot it seems like,lol. It is nice for them to play togethor but as far as getting along in the long run i think that depends on their personality and everything.

I mean no offense whatsoever(but just cuz you posted it) and i don't know how many kids are in your future but you should also think about yourself, because you are 36 and that if you wait 3-4 years (or longer) down the road.But will you be happy with your child still at home while you are nearing 60?

[Natalka]

kris, just in response to your last paragraph for a different perspective - I know my parents sure were happy to raise their sixth child - Mom was 45 and dad was 51 when they had him, and it sure was no biggie when she was 60 dealing with a teenager!!! Frankly, it kept both of them very 'young'.
(btw, I was the fifth kid, born when my mom was 35)

[Insane]

Mine 1st and 2nd are 5 years apart and 2nd and 3rd are 3 years apart.

The 5 years apart is quite nice. My son went off to school and so i got the whole day with the newborn. My son was old enough to "help" with the baby. And he was also old enough to understand that mom was tired, ect....

So my kids are 9,4, and 1 (just turned 1 yesterday!) My house constantly looks like it barfed toys because I have 3 kids in different stages of play. I can't get rid of anything really. Plus if I want a 4th we have to consider it soon because I don't want the oldest being too old when the last baby is born.

You know, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. Do what is right for your family and it'll work out.

[oddduck]

Our kids are ~3 years apart. While most kids would be potty trained by 3, mine is not (stubborn). It's nice because she's independent and can find things to do while I'm busy with the baby. She loves her role as big sister. If we have a 3rd we'll likely have another 3 year gap. It's a bit easier on my career and our pocket book as we can avoid 2 in daycare at once. We started off pretty young so age isn't a factor.

[Insane]

Me and my sisters are 3 years apart and it was a nice gap, I have to admit. 3 years apart means you are in different activities (or at least different age groups in the activities). My parents felt it was important that the activities we do not be with our siblings so that we'd have time away from them. It was a fantastic idea and worked very well for us.

[addismom]

My kids are 10 yrs apart,my son is 11 and my daughter is 11 mnths old. I didnt plan to have another child,but our lives change and I am glad I did. This age span is great,i loved being able to give my son all my attention and now that hes older,he still gets lots of attention,but is much happier to be playing with all his friends than being with Mom all the time! Which is great for my daughter as she has all my attention while her brother is at school but also the perk of her big brother spoiling her. I was very very worried about the age difference and how my son would react and respond to his sister,well it wasnt neces to worry! They adore and love eachother so much! I am now 37 and I will say the preg,lab,delivery and now has been far harder than it was at 26. The health risks increase at our age. Trust me,I nearly died having my daughter and am still recovering from congestive heart failure that was caused from the preg and labour/delivery. Good Luck! Do whatever works for you!

[ninna]

You'll make the best decision for you at the time and every family is different.

It depends on a lot of factors (ie. your age, your ability to accommodate a second child at this juncture etc), though, I now realize that if I'd waited til the "perfect" time to have kids (ie after career etc was established), I'd probably never have had kids. LOL.

In my family, there were 4 kids--spaced 3 years apart, then 5 years, then 3 years--which means there's 11 years between me and my big bro. To be honest, I don't have a thing in common with him because of the age gap. It's like he's from my parents generation, not mine. I was always "the pain in the butt little sister" when we were growing up. There's 3 years between me and my next older sibling and that has been a good gap, I think. We were always fairly close, but not so close that we were fighting over clothes or boys etc.

There's exactly 3.5 years between our own kids. There's advantages and disadvantages that I can see.

First, we hated having to start buying diapers all over again. Think it would've been easier if they'd been closer together and we were still in the habit of diapers.

On the other hand, the oldest was more self sufficient by the time #2 came along, and that made it much easier for us as parents.

They're always at different cognitive stages, so no fighting over toys etc. However, the difference in age also means that we must now divide and conquer at amusement parks because the oldest wants to go on rides that the youngest is too little for and vice versa. So it can be hard to balance that too.

Either way, you'll make the best decision for you at the time--and when #2 comes, you'll love him or her, despite whether there's 2 years or 20 years between them!

[ninna]

kris, just in response to your last paragraph for a different perspective - I know my parents sure were happy to raise their sixth child - Mom was 45 and dad was 51 when they had him, and it sure was no biggie when she was 60 dealing with a teenager!!! Frankly, it kept both of them very 'young'.
(btw, I was the fifth kid, born when my mom was 35)

My Grandpa STARTED having kids when he was in his 50's and he had 6!

It was a different time back then (great depression, war etc). I was always kinda proud of this knowledge, actually, just because it's rare for people to start a family so late in life and the circumstances behind which my grandpa married my grandma was kinda beautiful, I think.

Anyway, I agree with the "keeping you young" part. Kids have a wonderful way of doing that.

[MercyEhm]

I've noticed boys play well together no matter how old they are or what the age difference is. throw in a girl and WHOA lol sh!t hits the fan

[lovebugs2]

My kids are almost 3 years apart. My DS was just a few months shy of three years when my DD came along. I thought it was the perfect gap in age as my son just adores his little sister!!! And he got potty trained a month before his third birthday so I only had to change two babies bums for a month or so!!! (thank goodness!!!)

Good luck with your decision!!!

[MercyEhm]

What?!? Kids stay in diapers until they're about 3? *faints* LOL I wasn't anticipating changing diapers that long.