Boyfriend Rant

[Chantel]

Walk away. 3 months in you can't expect to be totally in sync with thoughts and knowledge of the other's wants, but leaving you out like that is not cool.

The first couple months you should be/usually are attached at the hip, not having him avoid you.

[Brooke_]

I appreciate all the advice, I can see the situation from a few different angles here..not that I like all of them but it is reality!! Thanks again everyone

[saveadollardiva]

I hate to say this, but, it sounds to me like "while the cat's away the mouse will play". I think he is not ready for a real relationship. I hate to say this but, once you told him the first time it bothered you why would he keep doing it? I think your better off finding someone else. Find someone who is ready for a real relationship. I don't know your BF but you don't want a boy you want a man and your BF right now is acting like a boy. Good Luck!

[heinz]

I'll go hell and back for you.

[Chado]

When you are in love, this kind of stuff will not happen and especially not early on. This is a perfect example of a "convenience" relationship and when you find the one you are meant to be with everything will fall in place. When you are in love you don't care about wasting nights away with friends anymore, it's about growing up and embracing a future together as a couple. I feel that a key to a long term successful relationship is one where you rarely ever hang around friends separately. Couple to couples hang outs are perfect. Almost all time should be spent together if you are truly meant to be together this should feel natural. Look at your grandparents who may have been married for 50 something years. How often do you ever see them apart and hanging out with friends separately? Rarely ever. Any friends who dont see it that way are either A - single/divorced themselves or B - in one of those relationships where they both hang out with their friends separately all the time and it makes you wonder why they are even in a relationship in the first place?

I used to feel just like you at one point, girls would always make me a second option. I would also egg my buddies on who had girlfriends to come out with the guys and bug them, etc. Just like a lot of things in life... until you go through them, or are affected by it directly or indirectly, it's hard to understand. However when I met the one I was meant to be with, we become both of each others priorities and not options, and genuinely "wanted" to spend all our time together because that's what's most important, not partying and friends, etc.

It's hard to hear all the feedback in here I know I was there many times, but there is a man out there and you will eventually find him and when you do, none of these concerns will arise as you will always be his #1

[Sunshyne1]

let him know how this makes you feel. Sometimes we need things spelled out for us (and a good smack on the back of the head). If he doesn't wise up after that, then kick him to the curb.

I agree that couples should always talk about what's bothering them. And she did already mention to her BF how she was feeling about being excluded, so in my eyes he heard the message from her, and didn't change.
On one side, it has only been 3 months....really not alot of time relationship wise. So my advice, either cut your loses now and get out and find someone who wants the same type of relationship you do.
But if you have very strong feelings for this guy, and don't want to end it (lets face it everyone, we've all been there and done that!) then I would have a straight up sit down with him and don't pussy-foot around the problem. But be warned, it might not go over with well considering you guys are only at the 3 month mark. He might think you are being too demanding too early. And if that's what he thinks, then he's not as into the relationship as you are and you should let him go.

ps...age will also have alot to do with how he is acting. If a guy my age was acting this way he wouldn't have lasted past the first month, but im not sure how old you two are.

[angel_2011]

how about the next time he has a "guys night", you surprise him by showing up at his place just because you "happened to be in the area". Then if there are other ppl there (girls that is), you go straight up to him and kiss him (you'll know right then if ur gf A, B or C).

[nicolthepickle]

Dave's answer is very wise.

If he loves you. He'll go to a huge amount of effort to see you.

My dear boyfriend lived 3 hours away. He drove those 6 (To me and back) hours every weekend for months to see me.
I married him. He's still the best .

[robin1234s]

I agree 100%.

Don't dump him yet. Tell him exactly what you posted in your first post, what happened, how it made you feel and what you want from him from now on.
If he continues, then re-consider whether you should stay together or not.

Hmm, I wish I had something more to offer from the guy side. What I can tell you is that we guys can be completely clueless and thoughtless, especially when we're young. It takes us a while to grow up (and some of us never do). Big secret, I know. Okay, not so big a secret.

Anyway it just may be cluelessness rather than callousness. Let him know how this makes you feel. Sometimes we need things spelled out for us (and a good smack on the back of the head). If he doesn't wise up after that, then kick him to the curb.

[Kalmel]

I wouldnt go as far as dumping him...well not just yet anyways. It's hard to give advice when details are lacking. See, if he's like 18 to humm let's say about 35..LOL...ok, maybee more around 25, dont expect a guy super mature..takes them awhile to figure out the difference between a toy and a girlfriend..lol!! Doesnt mean he doesnt love you, just means he wants more than what he's actually willing to give...like eating the cake and icing.

If your at that age or phase in your life that you feel you deserve and want more, then sadly, i think it's not gonna be with this guy..

[nwf1946]

Remember that girls seem to think a relationship exists but the guy may not. I am long past the dating scene but when I was involved with it guys would be very leery about having a 3rd date for a month or more because the girls(and their friends) seem to feel it was boy/girlfriend after a few dates but the guys wanted a lot more time unless it was clear that she was a good possibility.

[seylz_gurl]

better to end it now then go through more heartache and more invested in the relationship. this sounds so similiar to something I went through except I hung in there for over a year. I met someone fantastic afterwards who put me first.

[JennyFromTheRock]

After just 3 months, its a lot to ask a guy to include you in every part of his life. You should be able to go to a party without him, or even have one without him. He should be able to do the same. Its just 3 months. You need to compliment each other's life, not take it over completely.

My husband works away a month at a time, and to be honest, its nice to have our space like that. It makes us appreciate each other more when we are together. If you were to be at his hip, every day, every moment, every gathering..... your time together would lose its meaning. If you guys were together a few years, engaged or living together and he snuck away to go to parties, then I would worry. After 3 months, you have to understand, he had a life before he met you, as you had a life as well. If he enjoyed hanging out with his friends, who happened to bring their gf's ( who are all long term ) before he met you, he should be able to now without it causing a stir. You really can't say he's a bad boyfriend just for that. You don't want to seem clingy or possessive of him.

[Kalmel]

After just 3 months, its a lot to ask a guy to include you in every part of his life. You should be able to go to a party without him, or even have one without him. He should be able to do the same. Its just 3 months. You need to compliment each other's life, not take it over completely.

My husband works away a month at a time, and to be honest, its nice to have our space like that. It makes us appreciate each other more when we are together. If you were to be at his hip, every day, every moment, every gathering..... your time together would lose its meaning. If you guys were together a few years, engaged or living together and he snuck away to go to parties, then I would worry. After 3 months, you have to understand, he had a life before he met you, as you had a life as well. If he enjoyed hanging out with his friends, who happened to bring their gf's ( who are all long term ) before he met you, he should be able to now without it causing a stir. You really can't say he's a bad boyfriend just for that. You don't want to seem clingy or possessive of him.

I totally agree!! Sometimes when hubby leaves for a week, i give him a big hug and wait about 5 minutes after he leaves and i run naked in the house!! I sleep sideways in the bed and take his pillow for my feet.

[JennyFromTheRock]

I totally agree!! Sometimes when hubby leaves for a week, i give him a big hug and wait about 5 minutes after he leaves and i run naked in the house!! I sleep sideways in the bed and take his pillow for my feet.

BAAHAHAAHA!!!! I LOVE sleeping across the bed!!!! Even when he's home I'm so use to it...... he has like a foot to sleep on and I STEAL the rest!! lol!!