Totally shocked!

[Kelly5]

Just before Christmas I was excited to be inviting one of my best friends over to visit. She has three children - twin 6 year olds, and their older brother is 9. They knocked on the door and were all laughing and smiling when they walked in. I couldn't help but ask what had them in such good moods. The 9 year old said that they had just done a prank at the mall. Their mother smiled and laughingly said that they just loved their pranks. One of the twins was laughing so hard that tears were running down his face. After they had taken off their coats and boots I asked what the prank was. I was told that they had just banged their car door into someone else's car in the parking lot at the mall. They laughed and said that they should know better than to park at the back of the parking lot. One of the twins said that the cars at the back of the lot are just asking to be banged into.

I looked shocked as their mother smiled and said that kids will be kids. Once the kids went downstairs to watch a movie I asked my friend about it. She just shrugged her shoulders and said, well it was a BMW, so they can afford it. She didn't even leave a note! I said that she banged their door and left a dent, so shouldn't she take responsibility for it. She just said again that if they own that type of car then they can afford it. I mentioned my dream to own a Porsche. For me to own this car will take years of savings. It's not something that I can just afford to do without saving and effort. If someone dinged it I wouldn't necessarily be able to afford to fix it. I'd be furious. She just said that I should just expect it to happen, and welcome to the real world. I said that she's teaching her kids poor habits and that they'll end up thinking they can break or smash anything without consequences.

Now onto the most shocking aspect of the story. I just went out to get the mail. In the box was a card from my friend. In it she states that we can no longer be friends. If I can't respect her parenting strategies then we shouldn't be friends anymore. She has asked me to send her all the things she ever gave me. The list includes things she gave me 20 years ago, including photos, birthday presents, etc. I can honestly say that I don't even own that Barbie doll anymore, nor do I own that pink t-shirt from when we were 10. She also states that she is much too busy to send me the things that I've given her, so instead she has included a cheque. The cheque is for $100. Not that it really matters how much the cheque is for, but $100?!?

I'm not even sure how I should respond to such a request.

[mrs.march6]

WHAT?????? Unbelievable, I am speechless!

[snuffaluffagus]

My response is rather simple. Return the check to her without a note and ignore any further contact she tries to make with you. I promise, offloading such people from your life is the most liberating experience.

[janetta]

...OMG. I am speechless..
What a horrible human being she is.

If I were you I'd toss the cheque or send it back to her and just leave it at that. I'd completely ignore her request for the items back.
Sounds like she thinks her time is more valuble than yours. Totally immature.
Take the high road and don't even waste your time on her.

[DianneS]

If you were a brand new contributor to SC, I would think this thread is a prank. The woman is a nutburger who, if I read this correctly, pretty much encourages her children in their deliberate vandalism. I think Snuffalufagus has the best idea....no response other than the return of the cheque.

[MrsSunshine]

Yep ita!

[matrix82]

Wow, that is awful. I guess that explains why my vehicles (a honda and a chev) have experienced so much damage the last few years when there are people parenting their children in that way.

Psychologically she is harming her children, to think that type of behavior is a prank. Seriously, think if the pranks escalate, right now it's only at property damage, what about harming an animal or another person, would that be beyond a "prank".

I honestly would say just cut ties with that person. She seems to want emotional reactions, I would do as others have said, return the cheque, no note, block her number, write return to sender on anything else she mails. Remove her from FB etc. You don't need friends like that in your life.

Do you want to wake up one day to your tires slashed because the twins now 16 wanted to "prank" you.

[DolceBella]

WOW...I wouldn't even respond to this. If she is choosing to be immature let her. Rip up the cheque and move on with people who have morals and respect for others regardless of how much they make.
This woman's parenting should be questioned. Back in July some kids took a permanent black marker and wrote all over my husbands white car. It took hours of scrubbing and we still had to take it and pay several hundred to have it professionally fixed.

[nicolthepickle]

Wow, just wow.

[erin9mmm]

Send the cheque back with no comment (like others suggested) and as for their "pranks" one of these days (with all the cell phone photos etc.)she will be paying for them and then she will wish she had taken your advice.

[jasperandchar]

I just hope she's not pranking you, I feel horrible for you, banging someones door is not a prank - it's no care for others property and the type of car doesn't matter, I drive a little box and I would not appreciate someone hitting my car. And it's definitely not funny her kids are going to grow up and perhaps end up in alot of trouble down the road as what they were taught is acceptable and/or funny.

Sorry to hear about your friendship.

[aurora04]

Wow! I agree with just sending back the cheque with no note, explaination etc... I am shocked that she would teach her kids to behave like that! I hope karma comes back at her with her kids "pranks".

[felisha]

I totally hate it when parents don't teach their children to avoid banging their car doors into someone else's car in public parking lot. Allowing kids to do it as a prank is totally another level.

Sorry about your friendship. But honestly it's not your loss.

[Brooke_]

Your ability to stand up to your friend and tell her that what she is doing is wrong is extremely commendable. Although you may be losing what sounds like a lifelong friendship, you did it with dignity. Rip up that cheque and we will all hope that these children learn proper etiquette somewhere before it is too late.

[torontogal12]

That's how criminals grow up. Parents who don't teach them right from wrong.

Kids don't think abt ppl parking in the back to save the door. And these kids think of punishing someone for it? I find that hard to believe that kids would dream this up. And mom didn't have to park "in the back" to give them opportunity to smash someone else's car. Crazy "serves them right" attitude they have

What a weird woman. Send her back the cheque and ignore that poison forever more.

Any of you legal people know whether this kind of stuff can be considered child endangerment?

Encouraging blatant vandalism by ignoring it can't be good for a kid's development

And the t shirt from when you were 10? How can she expect anyone to hold onto that stuff? Let alone take inventory. Did she keep notes for just this occasion? Ridiculous. Has she always been this way? Or is this new behaviour. She may have new issues?