Dashing December Savings (frugal chatter 2014)

[SassyAshley]

Ciel we actually do all do inventory together but on Saturday everyone is in, my location is the largest we will have 20 to 30 people in. 4 groups of 2 counting, plus 6 data entry people plus various other people who will be there. But only a select few have to come back if we have to do Sunday, usually about 4 counters and one data entry and I am the data entry person this year. Just hoping we get it done on Saturday and I do not even have to think about working Sunday. Something about possibly working 11 days straight does not make me happy.

[SassyAshley]

Well I found my ambition but also had a bit of a mini break down. It has been awhile since I fell apart but I guess today was just one of those days. I am trying to figure out how to stretch myself even further, Dad sat down with and my two bros a few weeks back saying we need to step up more and give more hours to work. But on the flip side I feel like since Mom went back to work everything around the house is now on me to do. So I am not sure how to keep going in between 6 & 6:30 am working till 4 come home some how clean out house plus put in more hours at work.

But back to my break down, all I have heard since I got home is how Mom feels like she did not get a day off last week as was either making the stuff for a first Bday she made the cake, cookies and cupcakes for last weekend and her other day off she had to clean up. This really bugged me because I feel like she gets days off but I do not every weekend I have the house to take care of and I also know this means on her days off this week she is going to do nothing around the house.

Well I started cleaning the house and got completely overwhelmed with everything we need to get done and again the feeling that it is all on me. Mom keep reminding me we need a functioning main floor for Christmas as we cannot go out to eat but I seem to be the only one working on making this happen and even though I picked something small to work on I got frustrated. All I was going to do today was clean off the couch which I assumed was mostly mine as I have been using our couch as my home "office". Well as I started to clean it off I realized more and more of what is on the couch is not mine and a good chunk of it is stuff I cleaned off about 2 months ago and put away and Mom had now put back on the couch. So I walked away to avoid a break down, bad move as I went to do dishes only to remember last night when I went to do dinner I found out Mom did not do ALL the dishes like she said on her day off. She did a large chunk of them but the rest of the dirty dishes ended up in the oven which I found when I went to make my dinner last night. So I than stood there getting more and more frustrated, Please ladies do not judge me for this but as it is Mom made a smash cake 2 to 3 weeks ago and still the pan has not been washed, I refuse to wash it. She wants to have a baking business I do not feel I should be left to clean up after she does an order so all of the dishes from the smash cake and the first bday party are all still sitting there for her.

I than cleaned the bathroom and the front hallway, most of the boxes are now making it to the front hallway where we keep the box of boxes for recycling but they do not get broken down and put in the box. I than went into the dinning room to find even more boxes (I assume since the hallway was full we started throwing them probably literally throwing them into the dinning room). Well as many times as I walked away and tried to calm myself down finally I could not take it anymore and before I knew it I was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor in tears. I am feeling completely overwhelmed I have no idea how we will get this house clean for Christmas and I feel it will fall on me since I go on Shut down on the 19th. I have a feeling probably sometime next week it will be pointed out to me that once I get home from our company lunch on the 19th it will be my job to clean the house for Christmas and if it does not get done I will seriously blamed for this. Plus I was sitting here knowing I had about 4 to 5 hours of work I wanted to get done before I go back to the office tomorrow and time was just running out.

I only got about 2 or so hours of work done, think I need to make sure I am out of bed at 5 and hopefully out of the house by 5:30 and at work before 6. As well I texted Mom and said I think we should skip Christmas this year, we have no where for my bro to sit our kitchen is still a disaster and I hear a rumour we have a dinning room table in our dinning room but I have yet to be able to locate it. So unless I give up sleeping for the next 2 weeks I just do not see how we have Christmas in our house. She said we will talk later, I am sure this will become a fight but I am really at a loss. I cannot keep doing this going away for a week and coming home to clean up a house I will barely be living in over the next few months. I am really starting to feel a lot of resentment again which I know is not good but I just do not know who to make happy, do I make Dad happy and add more hours to my work day (which I feel I owe him, my Dad does so much for me and never asks for it back, I mean he has my car serviced for me, puts snow tires on, helped me get the car, all he ask is for some over time at work which I get paid for) or do I make Mom happy and some how manage to clean our house without her help (which I have no idea how to do as I have cleaned up everything that is mine we are now down to her stuff and I have no idea what we need to keep, what we can sell or what we can toss, all I can do is keep moving everything to our basement which really isn't accomplishing anything we are just moving the mess).

Sorry for my rant it has just been one of those days, I am feeling extremely lonely (I always get so lonely during the Christmas season, seems like everyone around me is in a relationship and I am alone not to mention I would really like some Christmas songs that have nothing to do with romance and sweet gestures) and just so over whelmed and guilty that I cannot do it all and someone is going to be disappointed in me sooner or later.

[jasperandchar]

Evening All,

Lizzie have a wonderful time at your wedding & trip.

Well parents showed up at 10am I was shocked at they were invited for supper....anyways....they left a while ago and well they will be gone until Feb. 28th.

We took my dad to the re-use it centre today, he didn't get anything but I got a Columbia purple fleece jacket, another lilac colored fleece jacket, a multi colored sweater/hoodie, a pair of Denver Hayes jeans (hoping the jeans fit), got Logan a pair of camo pants and possibly a pair of Dickie green cargo pants for dh if they fit.

Anyways wishing everyone a wonderful evening.

[thriftygranny]

Enjoy India Lizzie, safe trip and we look forward to hearing all about it.

[Crochetlady]

@ Ashley Sending you hugs. Sounds like you do more than your share around the house. Your mom really needs to step up and start to act like the parent here. I would have blown a gasket long ago if I was in your situation.
We also have an unspoken rule in our house...if we don`t want to eat what the other has cooked feel free to make your own or go hungry. Neither one of us has starved yet. lol

[Crochetlady]

Have a safe trip Lizzie and enjoy the wedding.

[Natalka]

Can't remember if I've posted this.

http://www.dw.de/program/advent-calendar/s-101310-9798

Today is all about pfefferkuchen.

What a great link! Thanks for that.
Our London Drugs always has a great selection of European foods - and all the Christmas goodies from everywhere. I always get some lebkuchen from Germany - which I gather is the same or similar to the word you used. Never had it freshly made, though!

Well peeps-signing off for a week or so. Hope you all have a great week getting prepped for the holidays!

Enjoy your trip and have a blast!

[lizzie bargain]

SA-JMH0 but at your age I suggest focusing on what makes you happy-if either of your parents feel you are not giving enough( and it sounds like you give lots at home and at work) then they will just have to deal with that. Set at least a few hrs aside each week for what you want to do and everyone else willl have to work around that. After all if you were in a relationship or had small children your family would have to work around your other obligations-and since you would eventually like to be( I think) then you could start preparing them for your "me" time now. Have a good week and carve out some time for yourself, free of family obligations-if you have time for yourself in your schedule to rest and rejuvenate I think you will be productive enough at work( without taking your work home) and less resentful of chores at home. Take a night off sometimes. Be kind to yourself would be my advice!

[thriftygranny]

Oh Sassy I am frustrated with you being frustrated. There is no way I could live in a home with piles of empty boxes and week old dirty dishes.It sounds to me like a helplessness has taken over your home and it is not a good living situation for either of you. Your mother sounds as if she she really lazy or very depressed and living like that does not help either of you.
I am going to be blunt, this has been going on since you have joined this thread and we are all here to support you.I think it is time to get in some outside help , it may be embarrassing that the house is such a mess but it can't keep going on like this ,you seem to forfeit a Saturday organizing and never get done because the cause is unattainable and then you are back at square one in a few weeks.the two of you need to start consciously picking up after yourselves or things will never change.I know you mention that you have savings, well girl it is time to spend some and get someone to remove the stuff and help you organize and you are on your way to a better way of living.You are not your mother's keeper and limited mobility or not she can do her dishes as they get dirty and pick up her crap. I had heart surgery last week and I managed to do two hours a day of books for my husband, make simple meals and yes do my families dishes and keep up with the laundry with the boys bringing it to the laundry room for me.
It makes me sad reading posts like this , your post about your week away was so positive and it resonated accomplishment and pride, and then you get home and you are overwhelmed with the way you have to live. It is time to part with things and purge and live life with less, you are such a young women you shouldn't be having to go through this.I think your mom may need some help to sort out her issues, she is affecting your life as well as her own.

[jasperandchar]

Ashley you need to take care of yourself both physically (health wise) and mentally and what I mean is that you are only 1 person and can only do so much in a day

You put long hours in at work and go above and behind of your amount of household duties at home.

As for your mom not doing the dishes and hiding the cake pan and other dishes I would have lost it, literally would have put them in the garbage can and walked away (might seem harsh) but I think you need to stand your ground and let her know that you are both owners of the house (50/50) and need to start acting like co-owners and that she is not a boarder in your home or a patron in a hotel. She needs to step up her game and start taking charge of her life and stop the high expectations and demands on others.

I'm sorry that you are being put in the middle of a tug and war game by your mom, if she was on her own she would have to do these things like dishes, cook, clean etc and it's not fair for you to be a be expected to clean the whole house for example to have people over for Christmas, I think that perhaps the clutter of her things need to be put in an area that she is forced to deal with them or they will be taken care of, again if she is not in a place of mind to deal with them, it's not up to you to fight with her to get them done.

Breath and I know you don't want to fight with her but it sounds like she should not be the only one putting ultimatums, perhaps a good old fight is what you both actually need, so to speak air out your dirty laundry and really let the other know how they feel.....

[Crochetlady]

Evening All,

Lizzie have a wonderful time at your wedding & trip.

Well parents showed up at 10am I was shocked at they were invited for supper....anyways....they left a while ago and well they will be gone until Feb. 28th.

We took my dad to the re-use it centre today, he didn't get anything but I got a Columbia purple fleece jacket, another lilac colored fleece jacket, a multi colored sweater/hoodie, a pair of Denver Hayes jeans (hoping the jeans fit), got Logan a pair of camo pants and possibly a pair of Dickie green cargo pants for dh if they fit.

Anyways wishing everyone a wonderful evening.

Wow Nancy...wish we had a center like that around here.

[avoncallingu]

Hi, all - well, I'm pooped and taking a break.
Our son came over mid-morning and since then we have been going through boxes and sorting stuff (yes, we've been here a year!). The men totally flipped things in the spare room, where the computer is, so everything had to be undone, cleaned, and reassembled. In between, I was getting boxes and bags in the kitchen, where I was sorting for keep, clean, storage, garbage, donate....
My hands and legs just can't keep up - so I broke down crying a few times, just frustrated. So much to do, and we have delayed doing stuff.
We downsized SO much to come here, and yet there is no room for things. I have been wearing the same clothes over and over, because the rest was packed and stored. Same with kitchen things - I've been missing some of my favourite items - and have NO special things, they were all stored.
Let alone any personal items - everything like all my jewellery has all been stored. Husband found one little box - but it's brooches and old stuff. I'm scared my ear piercings have grown in, I haven't worn earrings in a year.

And there is nothing decorative in the house. That has been making me crazy. Nothing on the walls, nothing on a shelf, just nothing pretty or nice. Everything is bare, practical, functional - and not at its best either.

Ok, I didn't mean this to be a rant, sorry = but I won't erase it, I'll let it be.

As a break, sent son out to get pizza and ribs - very odd to have such a meal at 2:30 p.m., but we didn't have lunch, so that will count for supper as well.

I probably just need a nap...
I'll come back when I'm saner. Cats are also confused with the commotion, strange boxes, etc.
Taffy hasn't stopped talking since Milan got here. (she's the cat who doesn't meow, just makes breathy sounds, but it's funny when she wants to make herself heard, she can!)

Really, I'm fine!

Oh Natalka! I can identify with the "stuff still packed" problem. I started unpacking ALL our Christmas bins that have been stored for years and it's overwhelming! But after I'm done, I'll know what we truly want to keep. But it seems I have been getting things half done so there are half-finished jobs all over the house.

Also, I've been under the weather since Thursday and haven't been able to get even the basics done! Oh well - things will EVENTUALLY get organized.

I keep forgetting to put my pierced earrings in too because they were missing for so long and I only got my ears pierced about 2 years ago. Gotta get back in the habit so my earholes don't seal up!

I'm finding ALL KINDS of impulse buys that I thought I would give to my nephews and now they are too old to use them. So the Salvation Army is going to get a nice donation of bits and pieces that some little person will appreciate.

[avoncallingu]

Have a safe trip, lizzie and ENJOY all the parties, wedding and get-togethers with your family and friends.

Natalka-this is nothing compared to the rants page today-ouch! Think I will keep my opinions on there to myself so I don't get myself flamed! I think a lot of folks are stressed about money, Xmas etc. Okay got the stuff in the suitcase so I think I can laze off for a bit!

[avoncallingu]

Has anyone heard from Diamond Lil? She hasn't been here since Nov. 19th it seems. Anyone know why?

[coupon girl]

lizzie have a great trip
-sassy Ashley I agree with everyone on here -take time for yourself hon