User Tag List

Page 3 of 22 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 13 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 45 of 319
Like Tree21Likes

Thread: Another Cheap Laugh Thread

  1. #31
    Smart Canuck LoRaOz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Cookstown
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,765
    Likes Received
    3
    Trading Score
    14 (100%)



    Three old ladies(Gertude, Maude & Tillie) and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having
    a quiet conversation
    when a flasher approached from across the park.

    The flasher came up to the ladies,
    stood right in front of them and
    opened his trench coat.

    Gertrude immediately had a stroke.


    Then Maude also had a stroke.


    But Tillie, being older and more feeble,
    couldn't reach that far.

  2. #32
    Smart Canuck LoRaOz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Cookstown
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,765
    Likes Received
    3
    Trading Score
    14 (100%)



    Smart-ass American tourist asks a Newfie:
    "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

    To which the Newfie replies:
    "Are you stunned bye ? - If they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."



  3. #33
    Mastermind
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    32,871
    Likes Received
    21189
    Trading Score
    159 (100%)




    Bahahhahahahahahha!!!!!

  4. #34
    Canadian Guru
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Estevan, SK
    Posts
    17,090
    Likes Received
    36766
    Trading Score
    214 (100%)




    hehe thanks.

  5. #35
    mommy loves u jayden beanie1228's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    BC
    Posts
    111
    Likes Received
    0
    Trading Score
    8 (100%)



    too funny

  6. #36
    . DH666's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    8,061
    Likes Received
    419
    Trading Score
    7 (100%)




    What's the difference between kinky and perverted?

    Kinky is using a feather to tickle you partner's bum.
    Perverted is using the who;e chicken

  7. #37
    * thecountess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    In a parallel universe
    Posts
    14,749
    Likes Received
    246
    Trading Score
    9 (100%)





  8. #38
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    23,178
    Likes Received
    51647
    Trading Score
    3 (100%)




    Quote Originally Posted by LoRaOz View Post
    Three old ladies(Gertude, Maude & Tillie) and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having
    a quiet conversation
    when a flasher approached from across the park.

    The flasher came up to the ladies,
    stood right in front of them and
    opened his trench coat.

    Gertrude immediately had a stroke.


    Then Maude also had a stroke.


    But Tillie, being older and more feeble,
    couldn't reach that far.
    HAhahahahaha!!! Being an "old lady"...I loved it!!

  9. #39
    Smart Canuck LoRaOz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Cookstown
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,765
    Likes Received
    3
    Trading Score
    14 (100%)



    My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were inbed.
    I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.
    I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
    And that's when the fight started....
    ________________________________

    I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
    It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
    "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
    So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
    And that's when the fight started....
    ________________________________

    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed thedog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
    I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
    The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
    I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
    I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,'The weather out there is terrible.'
    My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
    And then the fight started ...
    ________________________________

    A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
    Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
    The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy .
    That must be my husband!'
    So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. Hesmashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car asfast as he could go.
    A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
    The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
    And then the fight started.....
    ________________________________

    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
    Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
    I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
    And then the fight started....
    ________________________________

    A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
    She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband,
    'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    And then the fight started......
    ________________________________

    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my orderfirst.
    "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
    He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
    Nah, she can order for herself."
    And then the fight started...
    ________________________________

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, And I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
    a nearby table.
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been
    sober since.'
    'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
    And then the fight started...
    ________________________________

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
    The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
    I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
    I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
    She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
    And she processed my Social Security application.
    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
    She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
    And then the fight started...
    ________________________________

    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
    She asked, 'What's on TV?'
    I said, 'Dust.'
    And then the fight started...
    ________________________________

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
    I bought her a scale.
    And then the fight started...

  10. #40
    * thecountess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    In a parallel universe
    Posts
    14,749
    Likes Received
    246
    Trading Score
    9 (100%)




    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, And I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
    a nearby table.
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been
    sober since.'
    'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
    And then the fight started...



    This one especially made me laugh

  11. #41
    Mastermind
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    32,871
    Likes Received
    21189
    Trading Score
    159 (100%)




    Smart Blond


    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these
    blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she
    decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

    While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint
    a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband
    leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

    Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of
    paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the
    floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka
    and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she
    is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that
    she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she
    wanted to do it by painting the house.

    He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She
    replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it
    said....

    You'll love this...




    Yep. I know you will....<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>


    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>
    "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."<o:p></o:p>

  12. #42
    Life has been fantastic! jenna321's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    4,525
    Likes Received
    1
    Trading Score
    26 (100%)




    THE
    GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN


    Between 18 and 22, a woman is like
    Africa;
    Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally
    beautiful!

    Between
    23 and 30, a woman is like Europe;
    Well developed and open to trade,
    especially for someone of real
    value.

    Between
    31 and 35, a woman is like Spain;
    very hot, relaxed and convinced of her
    own
    beauty.

    Between
    36 and 40, a woman is like Greece;
    gently aging but still
    a warm and desirable
    place to
    visit.

    Between
    41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain;
    with a glorious and
    all conquering
    past.

    Between
    51 and 60, a woman is like Israel;
    Has been through war, doesn't make the
    same mistakes twice, takes care of
    business.

    Between 61 and 70, a woman is like
    Canada;
    self-preserving, but open to meeting new
    people.

    After
    70, she becomes Tibet;
    Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the
    wisdom of the
    ages,
    An
    adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.


    THE
    GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

    Between 1
    and 90, a man is like Iran , ruled by nuts.

    THE
    END.

  13. #43
    * thecountess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    In a parallel universe
    Posts
    14,749
    Likes Received
    246
    Trading Score
    9 (100%)




    Quote Originally Posted by Patty Smyth View Post
    Smart Blond


    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these
    blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she
    decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

    While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint
    a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband
    leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

    Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of
    paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the
    floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka
    and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she
    is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that
    she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she
    wanted to do it by painting the house.

    He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She
    replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it
    said....

    You'll love this...




    Yep. I know you will....<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>


    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>

    <o:p></o:p>
    "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."<o:p></o:p>
    Haha too funny Patty

    I have to tell a friend of mine.... she is blonde but she knows all the blonde jokes and is known for telling them (but she's definitely not dumb)

  14. #44
    Smart Canuck Turkish_DeLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    CowTown
    Age
    31
    Posts
    2,889
    Likes Received
    6
    Trading Score
    19 (100%)



    LMAO i stoped cooking to read all this they are all too funny still laughing lol

  15. #45
    Smart Canuck LoRaOz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Cookstown
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,765
    Likes Received
    3
    Trading Score
    14 (100%)



    A professor at MEMORIAL UNIVERSITY OF NEWFOUNDLAND, was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.

    Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

    He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

    She replied, 'Probably moose hunting with his buddies.'
    It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

Page 3 of 22 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 13 ... LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •