November frugal friends (2014)

[SassyAshley]

Lilo, I am actually not sure we will be going to two Islands we will spend 3 days on the big Island and than 2 days on a smaller Island but my step mom did not give me the names. I am sure once we are all together for Christmas we will get more details.

[sweet sparrow]

I would love to see the reactions if this happened on the subway?

I was on that train once, in a lifetime far, far away, pre-baby.

What a nice surprise this morning! I got very brave for myself on friday and sent off an email to my boss in regards to my 2nd year anniversary (the 19th is the start of my 3rd year here) and that i wanted to negotiate for a raise and an extra week of paid vacation time. I checked my work email this morning and found that He Agreed without any quibble within about 2 hours of me sending off the email. I'm so pleased.

Oh wow, congratulations! Just before Christmas too!

Hey everyone.
I've been gone a while...looks like my marriage is caput.
So since the kids will be with me, husband (soon to be ex) wants to know if I want to transfer the mortgage into my name.

My question is this. What would you do?

Child support is est $1800 a month
My income is approx. $2500 a month after taxes/pension/etc
I own my car outright but things are starting to go (2007)
Small credit card at max $1800.
Student loan $120 per month.
Mortgage-taxes $1500 per month.

No other debts other than the aforementioned.

My last payment is this week to credit proposal so I'm not sure how I would be approved anyway. Thoughts?
I'm trying to keep my head above water right now as I'm still in shock.

I'm really sorry to hear of your news. I agree with everyone that it's best not to stress out over financial matters until you've had a discussion with your lawyer. In the meantime, is there a support group that you can spend time with, or friends, or family? Just take it day by day.

Someone has cut his ears and tail a bit poor boy. I know another dependent is not what I should be doing right now.....sigh. Couldn't help myself:/

How awful that someone snipped his ears and tail! I'm glad he's found a good home now.

[Frugalbigmama]

Hugs Casey. Only you know what your spending habits are like. And I agree that renting is expensive too and expensive to move. Write down your total monthly cost. Write down everything. Including things you pay yearly ( I pay my internet, car, house insurance and property taxes yearly but put the amount needed aside each month) Remember to include money for emergency/maintenance on the house/car etc. Just buy the basics now. No excess spending. Message me if you would like to talk. I went through this (but do not receive a penny from my ex)

[LuvToUseCoupons]

Hey everyone.
I've been gone a while...looks like my marriage is caput.
So since the kids will be with me, husband (soon to be ex) wants to know if I want to transfer the mortgage into my name.

My question is this. What would you do?

Child support is est $1800 a month
My income is approx. $2500 a month after taxes/pension/etc
I own my car outright but things are starting to go (2007)
Small credit card at max $1800.
Student loan $120 per month.
Mortgage-taxes $1500 per month.

No other debts other than the aforementioned.

My last payment is this week to credit proposal so I'm not sure how I would be approved anyway. Thoughts?
I'm trying to keep my head above water right now as I'm still in shock.

Casey... Here is my thought...
I would do it, especially if he is not asking for a buy out.
If he is willing to transfer it to you free and clear, because you will have the children, and it's the home that they have been living in and will continue to live in....
I would run, not walk to get to a lawyer to get it done before he changes his mind (and ask for a buy out).
Remember to transfer the title too, if you do decide to transfer the mortgage.
With a income of $4300 per month you should be fine paying $1500, especially as you'll have disability, ctc etc. coming in too.
Stay strong...do it for your kids. They need you now more than ever before.
Hugs...JMO

[jasperandchar]

casey, sorry that things cannot be worked out.

Here is my 2 cents

I would firstly go to the bank and see if you qualify for a mortgage on your own as that is key, as you don't want to have to borrow from a high interest lender.

I would calculate the last 6 months of expenses/budgets and do an average to see what you can afford.

Also the child support could be increased and of course sadly decreased as well as it goes by salary/income, I don't know what your soon to be ex does for a living but I would take that into consideration as it could fluctuate over time.

Also make sure that he is willing to sign the house over free and clear as you don't want to agree and then he goes after 1/2 your pension which he could very well do as you can do that as well, hope it doesn't come to do that.

Also if you have an accountant I would throw some of these financial implications/discussions his/her way as your subsidies, income tax and other benefits you received are most likely based on dual income/combined income as a married couple and you really need to know what the implications are financially for the next year and onwards. As you will be receiving child support vs. filing as a couple, etc...could be better for you but could lead to some very expensive unknowns.

Also are both of you going to keep your insurance/dental coverage for the kids, something else to consider as you may not have 100% coverage.

If you are not comfortable with the figures etc perhaps pay a financial advisor a set fee to do the calculations with inflation included to give you the peace of mind. Or even as a friend/family member to go over this with you.

Also I would budget for an emergency fund while figuring your budget/calculations for house repairs, car repairs, etc and life's unexpected surprises.

best of luck with this sad situation, hugs

[Andit]

Good morning, everyone.

Lily dog is not impressed with whomever turned up the AC. Of course, it is my fault for not spending a half hour getting her dressed up for a 2 minute outing. Poor girl, the things she has to put up with.

Quincy cat is equally annoyed with me for making him work for his breakfast (been shoving his bowl under a small shelf and pushing it to the back to slow him down - the goof gobbles up his kibble so quickly he all but chokes on it). I've also been making him jump up and catch his kibble to get him to exercise (clearly I have no life, no wonder I get so little housework done around here ).

I really should run an errand or 2 today (was not in the mood to do it yesterday, after getting soaked through while waiting for the bus - not-so-nice cabby decided to play jump in the puddle with a bunch of pedestrians who were waiting to cross the street, grrrr). We'll see if I get around to it. Or play with the critters. Or nap.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

[Frugalbigmama]

Snow day here but not for me! Glad I brought my lunch (leftover pasta from dinner) and snacks so I'm set for the day. DS has a local hockey game this evening so our day won't be over till 830 tonight

[Andit]

On the bright side-here is my new rescue baby-Homer.

Homer is gorgeous! He's very lucky to have found you.

Someone has cut his ears and tail a bit poor boy.

How awful that someone snipped his ears and tail!

Rescue groups tag cats that are part of the TNR program by cutting off the tips of their ears (usually one, sometimes both). It's a quick way to determine whether a feral kitty has had vaccines & been fixed, so as not to stress out feral kitties too much. Sometimes the kitty takes a dislike to one of the rescuers and is incorrectly labelled feral. That happened to the first kitty Lily dog brought home (we used to have a lot of strays in my back alley (they lived in the nearby scrapyard and under the loading bays) - he had one ear tip clipped, but was the sweetest friendliest cat I'd ever met (luckily, I found him a home within a day so I didn't get too attached, although I did retain babysitting rights until the family moved out of town a couple of years later).

[Andit]

Hey everyone.
I've been gone a while...looks like my marriage is caput.

(hugs)

I'm so very very sorry to hear you're dealing with this.

As others have said, consult a lawyer. Here are some questions you'll need answers to (I think some have already been mentioned):

1. Is he entitled to half the equity in the house? If he is, do you have to pay him this asap? Will this be deducted from child support?
2. Is he entitled to half your pension (happened to a friend whose ex insisted on gouging her)? Are you entitled to half of his?
3. Will the title of the house be put in your name alone? Whose name is it in now?
4. Are you able to take over the mortgage (banks might be more lenient with an existing mortgage than if you were starting from scratch)? Are you willing to pay higher interest rates to a private lender if need be? Can you afford the worst case scenario (always base costs on worst case scenarios and budget for them, then if things are not as bad, you can put the extra $ in a savings account for emergencies).
5. What are the custody arrangements? Where will the kids spend the holidays? Vacation? Make sure every little detail, down to the minute, is put into writing, just in case you need it down the line (things might be calm now, but in 2, 3, 5 yrs, things change).
6. Will the kids need counselling? Who pays for it?
7. Whose medical plan will cover the kids? Yours or his? Make sure this is also in writing.
8. Do you have life insurance? Is he listed as a beneficiary (change this asap)?
9. Any other assets that have both your names (joint bank account, gic, etc)? Make sure this is addressed, the last thing you need is for him to get upset about something and clean you out (sadly, I've seen this happen with a friend of mine).


That's all I can think of for now, I'm sure there are more things to consider, use this as a starting point. It's sad, but things can turn really nasty really quickly (one friend's ex used to raid her pantry & steal her food whenever he dropped off their LO). Sounds terrible, but change the locks asap.


Once again, I'm so very sorry that you have to deal with this. I wish you nothing but happiness from now on. Maybe that's why Homer entered your life, to show you that good things are heading your way.

[jasperandchar]

Morning All,

Brrr it's cold. Kiddos are off to school and I need to muster up some energy and motivation .

Dinner tonight is something chicken breast perhaps a new recipe or not .

DH & I left Friday am and returned on Sunday 5pm from the cottage, my word it was cold the 1st day, will post a few pics later on.

Going to tackle a few cleanups in the back yard that got neglected as we were away this weekend (gazebo tarp, pillows etc) then we will hopefully be in the indoor projects which includes last minute things so that Jaden can move into his new room downstairs.

Once Jaden moves downstairs Logan will move into Jaden's old room (much smaller than Logan's current room) so that we can gut his room and start from scratch (our home is a block house so no insulation) so we need to gut and stud the walls for spray foam (not cheap) but needs to be done, hoping that a $ tree pops up soon but this needs to be addressed sooner rather than later and really cannot be put off for more years. And because we are doing it ourselves and dh's back is not good it taste so very long to get things done but atleast they are done to our standards (crappy luck with contractors).

meal plan is done (see below)

Monday - chili and moose steak (leftovers for lunches)
Tuesday - chicken breast (something)
Wednesday - pork chops on the bbq
Thursday- (leftovers) and pasta night
Friday - fish for the adults and pizzas for the kiddos
Saturday- kids will be making supper
Sunday - Ribs in the crockpot

Monday - moose steak or subs
Tuesday - fried chicken
Wednesday - Pizza for kiddos and fish for the adults
Thursday - bacon wrapped partridge (yummers)
Friday - eggs for the adults and quick fix for the kiddos
Saturday - whole chicken on the woodstove or chicken shake n' bake
Sunday- pork chops

[Angela273]

I received a total of 5 requests to teach for yesterday, but no one asked me to teach today. I have had multiple requests for Nov 27 & 28, but I can only be in one place at a time. That's one of the sucky things about being a substitute teacher. I won't teach nearly as many days as I did last month, just haven't been asked enough.

I'm home with LO and focusing on taking him to the potty often. We feel like we haven't been making progress for quite a while. He will sit on the potty, but often doesn't do anything. I'm trying my brother's suggestion. I have a timer set for every 15min, from the time we finish in the bathroom, then take him back again. Dh's block heater went, so his diesel truck is in the shop. Depending on the day, either I take him to work or a co-worker picks him up. I'm going to do a bit of shopping at Sobeys later today. We need milk and such.

[Frugalbigmama]

WOW Nancy you are on a roll with the meal planning! Good job! I am winging it. Haven't given the fridge a good clean out but the good thing is I went to get groceries yesterday without a list/plan so I only spent $11 (huge box of chicken strips for kids take out on the weekend, bananas and a 10 pk of the fancy buns we like to make garlic bread for $2.50 on the reduced rack. So will survive the week to the weekend and use up what we have. Last night we had pasta with sauce and garlic bread (sauce pulled from the freezer) Defrosted a family tray of beef and made 1/2 into meatballs (kids had meatballs, baked potatoe and fresh beans with a bit of pasta for dinner) and the other 1/2 into taco meat which I will serve the kids tomorrow night. Tonight is leftovers from last night. Thursday night will be leftovers and a bit of this and that. So gets us through the week and the grocery budget not touched! (I used a GC that I found to pay for the $11)

[jasperandchar]

geez super quiet on here tonight (smile), sleep well everyone

[Crochetlady]

Thank goodness for my neighbour. Totally forgot about my appointment in Goderich tomorrow morning til I got the reminder call. I still can`t drive because of the pain meds so he`s driving me.
Also got a call from the Dr. office this morning. Looks like I could be on the Prednisone much longer than I was hoping. I am sooo freakin` hungry I want to eat all the time but I`m keeping my hands busy so I don`t stuff my face.

[MrsSunshine]

heh all. wow. so busy here. thankfully. were tackling the basement. which includes all the xmas out. between deciding what were keeping/selling/donating. OI!
would love to sell enough to have my christmas fund and get my shopping done.
really hoping that dh has the basement done by the end of the weekend. having said that. im willing to work with him on it for a little after if it means its done by xmas.