All Purpose Rant Away Thread - 3.2.1 GO!

[Midnightly]

Self Absorbed People.

My SIL is getting married and apparently thinks it's the most important thing in the world. It's not enough she's driving everyone CRAZY but she's making everyone dread the event. The rules are getting ridiculous!

I *stupidily* said both my kids would be in it. I am sadly regretting it. She is making DD wear a floor length dress with crinoline at the end of July. It costs over $100. And she wants her hair down (which DD hates). She's going to be MISERABLE and there's very little chance I can keep her looking "her best" for long.

DS is a ring bearer (or something along those lines - all 4 nephews are the same thing). His outfit is almost $100 also and again it'll be hot and he's a boy who loves to get dirty!

DH was just informed (not asked) by email that he is to be an usher. He was sent 5 different emails with all the rules of being an usher (seriously I expect her to test them, it's beyond formal) and she expects him there at 9am (the wedding is at 1pm).

So now I have to get myself ready and get both kids ready by myself. Nice. Ok annoying but do-able.

Oh and the wedding is at a church on an ISLAND so we have to take a FERRY. The reception is on the main land so somehow she expects 300 guests to get back to the mainland within an hour or so. Her response when I questioned her was that I should just walk onto the ferry and walk to the Church to ensure we get there (15+ minute walk with 2 small kids). WTF? NOT HAPPENING.

So I'm annoyed at all that but this is what I really have a problem with:

-She totally ignored my invite to DH's (her brother's) birthday BBQ last night. Didn't even bother to call him. The rest of his family either came or called. Not her.

-She ignored my invite to DS's birthday party this weekend. I texted her today to call her on it and she said she got the invite but was "too busy with wedding planning and forgot to respond" and that she won't be attending.

-She also ignored my invite to DD's birthday party last December.

Funny how they are "so important to you, they need to be in the wedding" but not important enough for you to share THEIR SPECIAL DAYS. You can't attend my son's birthday on Saturday? Guess I can't attend your wedding shower the following weekend.

I might add that she never attended our wedding -it was a destination wedding and she said she didn't have the money, which was understandable but she didn't attend the after party (held a reception at home) or even the shower. She also didn't attend our baby shower.

I'm so annoyed at her behaviour. It's rude, self absorbed and inconsiderate.

Whew! Rant Over! I kind of almost feel better just typing it out. lol

i think it's time to get practical with her.. tell her sure it's a great idea to put the girll in a long floor length dress with her hair down.. you will have photos of a child scowling and having a fit, plus a good chance the dress will be dirty because she'll fall, she's complain she's hot... and the same with your son..

honestly she should be thinking about her guests before she plans a wedding that you have to ferry to and from.. something as simple as renting busses.. where people park at the reception get picked up and ferried across together in groups what happens if someone misses the ferry or the ferry is oversold and you have to wait for another sailing...

i get wanting to have your special day.. but you do have to put some consideration for your guests and those in the wedding (i remember my flower girl wore runners under her dress because i wanted her to be comfy and not fear tripping in "pretty shoes" )

[bargain_hunter_lola]

i think it's time to get practical with her.. tell her sure it's a great idea to put the girll in a long floor length dress with her hair down.. you will have photos of a child scowling and having a fit, plus a good chance the dress will be dirty because she'll fall, she's complain she's hot... and the same with your son..

honestly she should be thinking about her guests before she plans a wedding that you have to ferry to and from.. something as simple as renting busses.. where people park at the reception get picked up and ferried across together in groups what happens if someone misses the ferry or the ferry is oversold and you have to wait for another sailing...

i get wanting to have your special day.. but you do have to put some consideration for your guests and those in the wedding (i remember my flower girl wore runners under her dress because i wanted her to be comfy and not fear tripping in "pretty shoes" )

EXACTLY!

I tried to communicate all that but was shot down. We're not that close so I thought it's best she hear it from someone else, but unfortunately NO ONE is having any impact.

I even tried to help her find a reception place on the island. Personally I thought it was PERFECT! But she didn't want it outside (beautiful tents, decorate, the whole nine yards) but she chose a hotel's hall on the mainland instead.

At this point any time we see a member of DH's family they are complaining about the wedding. lol. Should be fun event.

[walkonby]

oh lola.....when did weddings and brides get that complicated?? Is it expected that you have to pay the money for your kids to wear these outfits? You are kinder than I am my Dear, I would have said " uh uh. no thanks " It is too late to back out of these responsibilities now I guess eh? Well lets hope for the least warmest day on her wedding date so you DD does not melt in the heat! best of luck.

[Decaf]

This couple behind me at the supermarket is the biggest a**h**** I ever seen at check out in recent history. They lined up behind me and no one after. Pizza on sale for $2.97, rang up at $4.99 (only the shrimp type, I want to use my $3 coupon) other types are correctly priced. So I tell cashier about the sale on the flyer. She called someone to price check and that's when it's start. The man start mouthing about how he don't want to wait for a price check. That the cashier should check him out first, but since cashier has to void all my items, it would have taken the same amount of time for price check anyway (she made the right decision). So the guy go on and on and on about me making him wait, I JUST IGNORE THIS POS. Then at he get louder and louder (was rude to me and the cashier) my sister told him there's no one on the next line he can go there if he can't wait. He said he have all his stuffs on the counter (so what? Two adults can't pick up their stuff and move to the next line). I calmly tell my sister "Just ignore him". At that point the wife got upset and swoof up their stuffs threw them onto the next check out. Took them 5 seconds to clear their stuff. During the price check the man keep staring at me (intimidating look doesn't work on me dude) while complaining, the wife stood there like a log instead of looking around to see if if see other lines are empty and move there like normal people would. After the price check, which another lady simply tell the cashier that "only selected type on sale" and I accept that and said I don't want the shrimp pizza. After check out, check receipt and find the cashier forgot to void the shrimp pizza (which is understandable, mistake can happen when someone like him around huffing and puffing). Another lady came over to do a refund for me, so I told her what happen. Customer behind me being impatient and cashier did nothing wrong.
What upset me is their being unreasonable and end making the young cashier cry.

[c_mcarthur]

Sounds like a MAJOR bridezilla.
ugh
See i'm such a laid back bride in comparison to some of these women.
My wedding is in 64 days.. yea i'm stressing a bit but i'm giving a lot of leeway on what people have to wear who are in my wedding party.
I have 3 flower girls, i told their parents to put them in something cute that's purple.. ta da! lol
floor length in july? that's crazy.

Self Absorbed People.

My SIL is getting married and apparently thinks it's the most important thing in the world. It's not enough she's driving everyone CRAZY but she's making everyone dread the event. The rules are getting ridiculous!

I *stupidily* said both my kids would be in it. I am sadly regretting it. She is making DD wear a floor length dress with crinoline at the end of July. It costs over $100. And she wants her hair down (which DD hates). She's going to be MISERABLE and there's very little chance I can keep her looking "her best" for long.

DS is a ring bearer (or something along those lines - all 4 nephews are the same thing). His outfit is almost $100 also and again it'll be hot and he's a boy who loves to get dirty!

DH was just informed (not asked) by email that he is to be an usher. He was sent 5 different emails with all the rules of being an usher (seriously I expect her to test them, it's beyond formal) and she expects him there at 9am (the wedding is at 1pm).

So now I have to get myself ready and get both kids ready by myself. Nice. Ok annoying but do-able.

Oh and the wedding is at a church on an ISLAND so we have to take a FERRY. The reception is on the main land so somehow she expects 300 guests to get back to the mainland within an hour or so. Her response when I questioned her was that I should just walk onto the ferry and walk to the Church to ensure we get there (15+ minute walk with 2 small kids). WTF? NOT HAPPENING.

So I'm annoyed at all that but this is what I really have a problem with:

-She totally ignored my invite to DH's (her brother's) birthday BBQ last night. Didn't even bother to call him. The rest of his family either came or called. Not her.

-She ignored my invite to DS's birthday party this weekend. I texted her today to call her on it and she said she got the invite but was "too busy with wedding planning and forgot to respond" and that she won't be attending.

-She also ignored my invite to DD's birthday party last December.

Funny how they are "so important to you, they need to be in the wedding" but not important enough for you to share THEIR SPECIAL DAYS. You can't attend my son's birthday on Saturday? Guess I can't attend your wedding shower the following weekend.

I might add that she never attended our wedding -it was a destination wedding and she said she didn't have the money, which was understandable but she didn't attend the after party (held a reception at home) or even the shower. She also didn't attend our baby shower.

I'm so annoyed at her behaviour. It's rude, self absorbed and inconsiderate.

Whew! Rant Over! I kind of almost feel better just typing it out. lol

[Lyssia510]

Self Absorbed People.

My SIL is getting married and apparently thinks it's the most important thing in the world. It's not enough she's driving everyone CRAZY but she's making everyone dread the event. The rules are getting ridiculous!

I *stupidily* said both my kids would be in it. I am sadly regretting it. She is making DD wear a floor length dress with crinoline at the end of July. It costs over $100. And she wants her hair down (which DD hates). She's going to be MISERABLE and there's very little chance I can keep her looking "her best" for long.

DS is a ring bearer (or something along those lines - all 4 nephews are the same thing). His outfit is almost $100 also and again it'll be hot and he's a boy who loves to get dirty!

DH was just informed (not asked) by email that he is to be an usher. He was sent 5 different emails with all the rules of being an usher (seriously I expect her to test them, it's beyond formal) and she expects him there at 9am (the wedding is at 1pm).

So now I have to get myself ready and get both kids ready by myself. Nice. Ok annoying but do-able.

Oh and the wedding is at a church on an ISLAND so we have to take a FERRY. The reception is on the main land so somehow she expects 300 guests to get back to the mainland within an hour or so. Her response when I questioned her was that I should just walk onto the ferry and walk to the Church to ensure we get there (15+ minute walk with 2 small kids). WTF? NOT HAPPENING.

So I'm annoyed at all that but this is what I really have a problem with:

-She totally ignored my invite to DH's (her brother's) birthday BBQ last night. Didn't even bother to call him. The rest of his family either came or called. Not her.

-She ignored my invite to DS's birthday party this weekend. I texted her today to call her on it and she said she got the invite but was "too busy with wedding planning and forgot to respond" and that she won't be attending.

-She also ignored my invite to DD's birthday party last December.

Funny how they are "so important to you, they need to be in the wedding" but not important enough for you to share THEIR SPECIAL DAYS. You can't attend my son's birthday on Saturday? Guess I can't attend your wedding shower the following weekend.

I might add that she never attended our wedding -it was a destination wedding and she said she didn't have the money, which was understandable but she didn't attend the after party (held a reception at home) or even the shower. She also didn't attend our baby shower.

I'm so annoyed at her behaviour. It's rude, self absorbed and inconsiderate.

Whew! Rant Over! I kind of almost feel better just typing it out. lol

I would put my kids in whatever she wants, provided she paid for it and not worry if they get messy/sweaty/dirty etc. and if she complains about them being messy just smile sweetly and say I tried. I also wouldn't worry about busting your ass to get to and from the island with the kids. If it was that important to her that you were on time she'd be making damn sure there was a way to get you there with both kids on time and that you had help.
It sounds like she's having a theatrical production instead of a wedding.

[Decaf]

300 people that's a big wedding, hope she'll get her money back, XD!

[bargain_hunter_lola]

I would put my kids in whatever she wants, provided she paid for it and not worry if they get messy/sweaty/dirty etc. and if she complains about them being messy just smile sweetly and say I tried. I also wouldn't worry about busting your ass to get to and from the island with the kids. If it was that important to her that you were on time she'd be making damn sure there was a way to get you there with both kids on time and that you had help.
It sounds like she's having a theatrical production instead of a wedding.

So far she's bought DD's shoes and DS's suit (although I owe her $50 for it because she bought it as a b1g1 with the other suits so she cut all our cost in half).

I have to pay $30 for DS's shoes and then over $100 for DD's dress and the $50 for DS's suit. Plus DH is paying $120 for his rental suit. So $300 without most taxes figured in or my outfit (thankfully I'm pretty sure I can find a decent dress for a good price).

It's not even the money, its the feeling that she doesn't seem to care about the guests or their feelings. I'm a severe type A personality and I keep thinking about all the ways things that can go wrong. I don't want my family (immediate) to "drop the ball" because I know she'll make it into a huge thing for years. A wedding shouldn't be this stressful for the GUESTS!

I emailed her and asked if she's given a shuttle anymore thought. I'm hoping she has. Getting 1 bus that holds 60-70 people will be much easier than having 15+ cars try and get on the ferry. The ferry holds 50 cars and runs each hour, its peak tourist season so it'll already be a zoo. It's not uncommon to wait for at least 1 boat in the Summer (meaning waiting well more than an hour, sometimes 2-3).

Oh well, all I can do is try and make it as easy on my family as possible. The whole thing is stressing me out which annoys me since why should I care if she doesn't care about our events? KWIM?


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

[Midnightly]

So far she's bought DD's shoes and DS's suit (although I owe her $50 for it because she bought it as a b1g1 with the other suits so she cut all our cost in half).

I have to pay $30 for DS's shoes and then over $100 for DD's dress and the $50 for DS's suit. Plus DH is paying $120 for his rental suit. So $300 without most taxes figured in or my outfit (thankfully I'm pretty sure I can find a decent dress for a good price).

It's not even the money, its the feeling that she doesn't seem to care about the guests or their feelings. I'm a severe type A personality and I keep thinking about all the ways things that can go wrong. I don't want my family (immediate) to "drop the ball" because I know she'll make it into a huge thing for years. A wedding shouldn't be this stressful for the GUESTS!

I emailed her and asked if she's given a shuttle anymore thought. I'm hoping she has. Getting 1 bus that holds 60-70 people will be much easier than having 15+ cars try and get on the ferry. The ferry holds 50 cars and runs each hour, its peak tourist season so it'll already be a zoo. It's not uncommon to wait for at least 1 boat in the Summer (meaning waiting well more than an hour, sometimes 2-3).

Oh well, all I can do is try and make it as easy on my family as possible. The whole thing is stressing me out which annoys me since why should I care if she doesn't care about our events? KWIM?


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

ok she's being a tad crazy to expect everyone to take the ferry across to her wedding then back and still manage to make it for the wedding intime and the reception... there WILL be a good chunk of the guests who will be waiting for a second ferry maybe even a third if it only holds about 50 cars..and what if it's the bridal party who has the 2 sailing wait or god forbid her... if there's 300 at the wedding even if they do 4 to a car (not likely.. ) thats still 75 cars travelling even if it's a walk on and telling people they gotta shuttle waiting on the other side (and she also expects people to stand around the ferry in formal wear too i imagine)

and it's not just the returning... it's going across too.. how is she going to feel when people decide NOT to attend the ceremony because they have sailing waits and they will end up missing the ceremony..

[Linda Evans]

i was waiting in line at the fod court(burger king...the lady in front was in a wheelchair, so it was pretty slow going. i turned around & the guy behind me was just GLARING back at me...starting mumbling under his breathe. so his turn comes & he says...."quickly, quickly..i just want a ice cream cone" how the cashier managed to SMILE at this jerk is beyond me....
as soon as she hands him the cone he takes a big lick & it FALLS on the ground. ;-)

Karma is a bit%$!....heheheheee

[SweetBoo]

oh lola.....when did weddings and brides get that complicated?? Is it expected that you have to pay the money for your kids to wear these outfits? You are kinder than I am my Dear, I would have said " uh uh. no thanks " It is too late to back out of these responsibilities now I guess eh? Well lets hope for the least warmest day on her wedding date so you DD does not melt in the heat! best of luck.

Oh wow, I am going through this at the moment too..The exact same thing..except my Hubby is a Groomsman. Both my DD and DS were asked to be the Flowergirl and Ring Bearer. I said yes originally to being a Bridesmaid, but pulled the family out about a couple months ago. This would have cost our family a small fortune. I put my foot down. DH will represent the family, everyone else is staying home. I agree..when did weddings and brides get so complicated and so expensive. $100 for a wedding gift on her registry..she's nuts, I have two kids!!! I was sent emails re wedding websites, and How to be a proper Bridesmaid..Flower girl... etc..That was what broke the camels back. Isn't it awful having to read all of that stuff. I personally dreaded every minute of it. I feel so free now!!!

[Midnightly]

Oh wow, I am going through this at the moment too..The exact same thing..except my Hubby is a Groomsman. Both my DD and DS were asked to be the Flowergirl and Ring Bearer. I said yes originally to being a Bridesmaid, but pulled the family out about a couple months ago. This would have cost our family a small fortune. I put my foot down. DH will represent the family, everyone else is staying home. I agree..when did weddings and brides get so complicated and so expensive. $100 for a wedding gift on her registry..she's nuts, I have two kids!!! I was sent emails re wedding websites, and How to be a proper Bridesmaid..Flower girl... etc..That was what broke the camels back. Isn't it awful having to read all of that stuff. I personally dreaded every minute of it. I feel so free now!!!

oh i hate those websites.. they give big massive checklists of what "miss manners" would expect for the perfect $50,000+ wedding and some brides out there expect all that and more and the bridal party to foot the bill.. sure in a dream world a stag trip to vagas or a weekend spa get away stag sounds wonderful but in reality that happens for 1 in every thousand brides if that.. and how they act that everyone else in the world should drop their life JUST because they are getting married.. just because their life revolves around the wedding the should not assume everyone elses life has to stop because of a wedding

[Ciel]

What Midnightly and others have chimed in response to Bargain Hunter Lola's wedding invitation/money blackhole-bridezilla did not tell you all the details upfront at time of asking/demanding family attendance? Tell her you'll not be attending. She's making all of the family jump hoops for her. Just what is the groom doing in this situation? Not making family ties strong. Think of this event as a long prequel of what's to come once the couple is married-all of THEIR events will be command performances (and pity any kids they bring into that life). If you could Skype your attendance, maybe it'd be worth telling her that.

The part where you found out how she saved money on the boys' suits-you pegged her personality type with that fact.

Sorry, bridal drama like that is so not worth your time. When your kids are older, they'll be able to decide if they want to participate in wedding parties and the ensuing free time that has to be dedicated to celebrating someone else's marriage and gift showers. Save yourself!

[SweetBoo]

The bride wanted me to chase my two little children who were in the wedding party, wearing 3 1/2 inch heals!! After complaining about the size of the heals, I was told to read the checklists that she had sent...and the checklists say that I am, "Not to complain." She has been living in as what Granny would call "Sin," for many years, so I am sure Miss Manners would not approve of that!! Heheheh. O.k. I will stop now, I am just happy I don't have to attend and I will leave it at that.

[Darth Penguin]

Remember..it's an invite and not a regal command.


If it's highly inconvient , and unless the children have set thier heart on being part of the Bridal Party(tm), then a polite but firm refusal of the "Honour" along with a suitable card and token present is sufficient.