Another Cheap Laugh Thread

[Natalka]

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the
street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to
see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me
flowers again."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the
big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"

The red head says, "Oh sure, but he always has expectations
after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending
the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

[Andit]

A little old lady lived all alone in the middle of a forest with only her cat as a companion. She had lived alone her whole life, & wanted to have some human companionship, so she said a prayer every night.

One night, her prayers were answered. There was a loud boom & a flash of light, & her little cat was turned into a handsome young man.

"Thank you!" she cried.

The cat took her in his arms, leaned in close & whispered, "Now, aren't you sorry you had me neutered?"

[VeeVee]

hahahahaha Andit that was good!

And Natalks! hahahahaah I have to remember that one!

[Patty Smyth]

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar
bill back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my
request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, 'We're sorry
but they could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's in Cornwall.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we
did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears
made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's
not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
Happened in Ottawa , ON

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING
sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Collingwood, ON

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Winnipeg, Manitoba

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Toronto, Ontario

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!'
She is a government employee in Montreal, P.Q.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick
up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it’s open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the GM dealership in Guelph, Ontario

STAY ALERT! LOTS MORE IDIOTS TO BE FOUND

[trucks12trucks]

save trees, don't write essays.!

[Antikson]

That's truth..Save trees and save nature

[VeeVee]

haha wow those are some intretsing idiot stories! I like I like!

[NancyM]

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the
street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to
see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me
flowers again."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the
big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"

The red head says, "Oh sure, but he always has expectations
after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending
the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

[NancyM]

love the idiot sighting one patty

[DH666]

A seal walks into a club.

[IRefuseToPayFullPrice]

I love this thread!

[NancyM]

I love this thread!

me too

[Patty Smyth]

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him a warning instead
of a ticket. The officer then presses him for a last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.'
'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.'
'I was born Fred Dingaling.' 'I know, it's a funny last name.' 'The kids used to tease me all the time, so I
stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades.' 'When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor,
so I went through college, medical school, internship,residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred
Dingaling, MD.'
'After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided togo back to school, and study to be a dentist.'
'I got all the way through school, got my degree, so thenI was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.'
'Soon, I started fooling around with my dental assistant,and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling,
MD, DDS, with VD.'
'Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.' 'Then I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD.' 'Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD, leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.''Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am,Just Fred!'
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

[NancyM]

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him a warning instead
of a ticket. The officer then presses him for a last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.'
'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.'
'I was born Fred Dingaling.' 'I know, it's a funny last name.' 'The kids used to tease me all the time, so I
stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades.' 'When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor,
so I went through college, medical school, internship,residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred
Dingaling, MD.'
'After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided togo back to school, and study to be a dentist.'
'I got all the way through school, got my degree, so thenI was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.'
'Soon, I started fooling around with my dental assistant,and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling,
MD, DDS, with VD.'
'Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.' 'Then I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD.' 'Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD, leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.''Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am,Just Fred!'
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

[VeeVee]

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blond was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy"

When asked why such a big password, she said she understood that it had to contain at least 8 characters!